What is an attendance support panel? and will it magically stop DD from getting ill?

[Katymac]

As tbh I can't see the point of it?

Yes she has been ill a lot
Yes I know she keeps missing school

Yes I would 'fix' it if I could - but unless I can put her in a bubble she will get bugs/illnesses & I can't make them go away

twice they have refused to have her attend

zanzibarmum Sun 15-Nov-09 20:15:49
"I agree with the school - stop making excuses and get the child to school."

When she's got norovirus? I'm sure the school will be delighted?

I expect that it is a bit of a pain to have to provide work for students who are off sick. But actually it is part of the teachers, the school's and the LA's duty to support pupils who cannot fully access their education due to chronic ill health.

Katymac's DD doesn't have chronic ill health. She has had more days that are acceptable, for lots of different things. If she was suffering from a serious illness or a debilitating condition, I would be willing to bet the school would be dealing with it in a different way.

In this case, the school IS providing support by setting up the meeting. The student in question has to take some responsibility for sorting out the missed work and making time to do so out of lesson time, along with the teachers.

TBH if she were chronically ill it would be easier to understand - but children can go through period when they catch various illnesses often when they are introduced to a new 'germ pool' like starting school at 4 or starting high school (like DD)

Which combined with the emotional turmoil she is in causing stress means her immune system is quite low

She takes multi vitamins, cod liver oil and is starting aloe vera in order to build up her system & I am trying to get her some counselling to help with the whole situation

Having dealt with this from the point of view of a union rep in a school dealing with staff absence issues, it's the "a day here, two days there" things that get picked up on, rather than a long-term illness which would have had a doctors note and the school would know details of in advance (IYSWIM) Staff absences are more concerning when it's few days here and there which add up, and I suppose it's the same for students. I can see why you're defensive about it katymac, as you feel the school is making out that you're keeping DD off wrongly (like parents who keep kids off just because it's their birthday, or because they fancied taking them shopping) I doubt it's that - they can offer support (IF needed, and in your case it's clearly not) only when they know the reason behind the illnesses.

OTOH, though, there are plenty of parents who don't keep kids at home for coughs and colds and so on, but only when it's somthing like a tummy bug which makes functioning during the day tricky or is very infectious - some might say you HAVE kept her off unnecessarily. I don't imagine for a minute that they school will say that though - they do need to chase up absences.

Chronic ill health doesn't have to mean she has a diagnosed condition. As Katy says she's had alot of illness and has additional stresses at home. The end result is the same.

Normally I guess I would take it in my stride but atm I am finding everything difficult

Work is stressful -I got so behind when DH was in hospital & I can't foresee getting sorted this side of the new year

Money is stressful - we have over spent doing things together as a family in case we never get a chance to again

Family life is stressful - living with expected death is so hard

Actually I'd quite like something in my life not to be stressful - school was nice & unstressful before this

SO sorry to hear about your situation, katymac; it must be hellish.

My dd has been going through a period like this, having odd days off for various viruses and exhaustion (this is different from her chronic joint condition). I have felt very bad about it, thinking that it must be due to my parenting. I found out today that she is actually quite severely anemic. Just because it wasn't diagnosed before doesn't mean it wasn't real. The GP was quite reluctant to do the blood tests and seem to prefer questioning dd about her relationship to me. It isn't always that easy to get a diagnosis; doesn't mean a problem is less real.

For her other condition (connective tissue disorder), which has also caused a lot of absences in the past, the average time for diagnosis, according to a recent survey, is 10 years after the symptoms start. That is a long time for the school to think you haven't got chronic ill health. But of course it doesn't make the ill health any less real.

Hve you actually had your dd's bloods done, Katymac? Could she be anemic on top of everything else?

And why isn't the school offering support and counselling if her dad has cancer? Dd's friends' mum had cancer and they are still getting lots of support.

It's not cancer it's chronic lung disease - not sure it makes much difference what is it tbh

DD gets so scared that she will get the bug that will kill him - his life expectancy is so odd - he could live to old age or die of the next cold he gets. I know when shouldn't get hung up on it but knowing something so simple, like a cold, could change our lives is very stressful & beyond imagining.

I think we both need support with it even if it is help in understanding that we can't live like this & we need to move away from the idea that he will die

After all anyone can get knocked down by a bus

I will get her bloods checked tho' thanks for the idea

I#m sorry, I'd got you mixed up with somebody else

Not a problem - tonnes of people on MN

I hadn't thought of anaemia tho' so I will get it checked

Maybe this meeting will give you an oppurtunity to explain how tough things are for your daughter right now & get some support put in place for her at school.

Try to see the positives - the school will want to support all its pupils in attending school. They know that some children will inevitably go down with more illnesses than others, but there are parents who keep children off without good reason and this meeting wil establish that this isn't the case for your dd. Here's a sobering FACT from my son's school: In last year's yr11, of those children who had 6 or fewer days' absence, more than 90% achieved 5 A*-C GCSEs including maths & English. Of those with 12 or more days' absence the figure was 37%.
So attendance does matter - poor attendance is often indicative of (though not necessarily the reason for) poor performance.

The problem fortyplus is that when you have a child who is ill a lot you will hear these statistics all the time. They won't cure your child. They won't make you any less stressed. But people always seem to think they are helping you when they point out once again how disadvantaged your child is going to be by their ill health. They know know that anyway. I imagine given Katymac's situation that sobering is hardly the thing she is most in need of. It sounds like her dd is very badly stressed anyway.

(my own dd is self-harming and has attempted suicide because of the stress of missing so much school and being told similar statistics over and over again over the years; she can't cope any longer with her feelings of guilt and failure)

I agree with the first part of your post though; that it's a question of trying to see the positives and getting as much help as possible out of the school. Schools can do a lot if they put their mind to it. I am quite hopeful about dd's situation, despite current problems, because I really feel that this time we have the school on our side and they want the same thing as we do: the best possible outcome for dd.

Hope things work out well for your dd, cory. Please re-read the bit after the stats...
'poor attendance is often indicative of (though not necessarily the reason for) poor performance.'

So I'm not saying that poor attendance causes poor performance - my son summed it up nicely when he said 'If I was ill and had more than 12 days off I'd still pass my GCSEs - it just means that a lot of the people who are taking loads of time off have a bad attitude.'

Have re-read and I do understand that you only meant to be helpful and that you recognise the difference between bad attitude and genuine illness.

What I wanted to point out is that anyone in this situation will have heard the stats so often that it's not longer helpful to have them pointed out once more.

If you've got tonsillitis and the norovirus, or something more longterm, being told that some other people who are off have a bad attitude isn't really going to help you much, is it? All it does is make you why people think this information is relevant to you- does it mean they think you have a bad attitude? If they realised it was irrelevant, why would they mention it at all?

But I do absolutely agree with the need to take a positive attitude and get the best out of the school; lots of schools are very keen to support but may need help to do so.

There is a huge problem (especially in secondary) of parents condoning their child's absence. However, it would be helpful, I think, if schools didn't start off with the POV that a child who has repeated illness has a weakwilled parent. I'm pleased that OFSTED is beginning to measures schools not only on absence and the challenging of it but also, as part of safeguarding, on the support offered.

Good point about Ofsted. They picked up on the excellent pastoral support at dd's secondary and made a big thing of that; nice to see that it's appreciated and schools are getting positive feedback.

Tbh the more time I spend working in secondary school the more and more I realise how absolutely crucial attendance is and how it impacts on everything.

Katymac, I know if they're ill there is nothing you can do about it. But so many children have time off school for non-valid reasons, and it is essential the schools keep up this relentless drive on attendance.

It annoys me that the assumption is "Guilty until I prove I am innocent"

I approached the school with the issue, I asked for extra work, I discuss strategies to sort it out, I keep in regular communication with them

They send me letters on red paper, they demand (not request) my attendance at a meeting.

It doesn't seem a fair exchange

& while they are worrying about 15 days off school I am dealing with the fall-out of 25 days plus of illness plus indescribable emotional turmoil, plus normal pre-teen angst

Dd is finding that the current Education Welfare Officers are very supportive and understanding of her medical problems. We had one not very bright one in the past and yes, that did cause a lot of hassle- but then you are bound to come across them in any profession: there are obtuse doctors, and unhelpful teachers- hopefully, they're not a majority. When the EWOs are good, they can be very helpful.

Let's hope the people you see are as good as the ones dd is seeing atm.