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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Help me find ds1 a school please!

30 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 14/10/2009 00:27

he started yr7 in september and to date has

had p.e kit stolen (2nd day there)
been punched in stomach
followed and punched in stomach at bus stop
shoved over in class hitting his face on metal stool
shoved over on the stairs banging his nose and hurting his stomach
had his bag cut
had his shirt swapped for an old one during his p.e lesson
had lunch money stolen

everyday he is being poked, prodded and dug at.

he has been off school 2 days now because he is so hurt by all of this. I spoke to his school AGAIN today and they have said they will send him work home while they investigate the situation.... we have been waiting since second day there for them to deal with the theft of his p.e kit and the child following him and hitting him. I informed them today of the incident on friday where he was pushed over on stairs and was met with the answer
"OH we are well aware of the amount of children who are shoved over on those stairs" errrr then why is there not a member of staff there between lessons??

Anyway I need to find him a new school he is suffering badly and I am not prepared to put up with it any longer.

I live in Peckham, and really need some help.!

OP posts:
bubblerock · 14/10/2009 00:32

Oh FFS that is disgusting!! Your poor DS, I'm nowhere near you so can't help, but my DS just started yr 7 too and I would be devastated if he was having such a hard time

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 14/10/2009 01:03

Bubble, i am not sending him back to school until i find a new one for him....he is so sad and in turn so am i...

OP posts:
bubblerock · 14/10/2009 08:35

I wouldn't either! He should be enjoying himself, making new friends, new experiences etc.. It's so sad that such a milestone in his life is being ruined like this What are the alternatives in your area?

cherryblossoms · 14/10/2009 09:23

LES - Have you contacted Kidscape yet? They can be helpful and may even have an idea of a school that's good on anti-bullying in your area.

I'm not good on that area, in terms of schools. Is your ds at all academic? What band was he in?

Pyrocanthus · 14/10/2009 09:53

I'm afraid I have no useful advice, LES, but hugs and good luck to you both.

KittyCorncrake · 14/10/2009 12:06

Like Pryocanthaus, sorry cannot give advice re schols, but sending hugs - he is fortunate to have caring parents to support him through this

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 14/10/2009 12:40

Bubble, they are not very good tbh. But am hoping the school and I are going to be able to find a school which is suitable for him iyswim?

Cherry his yr 6 sats were all 5's. he is a very academic child. has the reading age of 16/17, was in G&T from the age of 5/6.......

I am going to contact kidscape because this is beyond a joke, the school are aware of why he is not in and are calling me everyday to ask why he is not in ffs!

I have a meeting with them on Friday at 11.30...
does anybody have any ideas of what I should be asking them etc?

I know I sound thick but am so stressed!

OP posts:
cherryblossoms · 14/10/2009 13:20

OK. You can apply for grammar schools for yr 8 entry.

Deep breath, now, LES, because I know how you feel about your ds travelling!!

There's a grammar an MP from round your way applied to but it's a trek. I've no idea what the name is, or what it's policy on yr 8 entrance is but it's likely he'll have to sit an exam.

There are a couple of schools in Lambeth and Wandsworth that take a percentage on ability, not distance, in yr 7 ... but I just don't think it works like that for yr 8 - but you should 'phone them and see.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but your local popular school is Haberdasher Aske's, yes? Problem there is that it's hugely popular and it might be very, very difficult to get a place. But still worth going on the waiting list.

I am really, really surprised he's having these problems if he's in a top band. It's sad but true that you tend to get behavioural difficulties in the lower bands.

I also think you need to contact the School Appeals Service google it) and talk through the best way of applying for waiting list places at schools with a good reputation for behaviour - and this is a bit awful but I'll post it anyway - with a view to then appealing for a place.

Bullying alone will not secure him a place at a school with a good rep. BUT if he has friends there already, you're on firmer ground.

Re. looking for schools - I may get flamed for this but I'll post it anyway - good exam results often translate into a school that does not have issues re behaviour (or not such big issues, anyway). That's not always the case (and it's not always the case the other way round,) but it's something to start with.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 14/10/2009 13:29

Cherry, the class itself seems to be a lower band class although they give the impression otherwise iyswim?
This morning I have had the head of learning on the phone saying that they are realising the work ds1 is doing is below his level but that they have to cater for the wider spectrum of children as well and as of yet they cannot see what else they can do for ds1. Which to me sounds like they are saying let him plod along and eventually we will work out a solution.

I am going to look into grammar schools in the area, HA's is full to the brim, i called them yesterday booo hisss flounce lol.

But there are some other schools I can try.

Thanks

OP posts:
violetqueen · 15/10/2009 08:57

How awful for you both .
Don't go to meeting with school alone ,you'll need support /another pair of ears to remember stuff.
Have you spoken to anyone on the Governing Body ?
Have you tried Pimlico Academy - easy bus ride from Peckham.
Or Westminster Boys - not the private one !
Guess Kingsdale/Caharter are no good - full? to difficult re travel /
Kingsdale is supposed to have arranged a bus to pick up from ? not sure but think East Dulwich area ,so if he could get there...
What about new Harris Boys Academy ,currently based in Langbourne ?
They must have arranged transport from a more central point.
Not really awake yet ,but when I've worked out how to email just you I might try to be more helpful.
Keep strong ,he's bright and he's got you - things will get better.

fordie · 15/10/2009 12:35

This is a terrible situation Why don't you ring up City of London Boy's school and explain the situation. It is a private school but if he's so bright they bend over backwards with 100% scholarships and bursaries. They get alot of money from City of London corporation I think and really try to reach out to bright boys in difficult circumstances.

sarah293 · 15/10/2009 12:47

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maria1665 · 15/10/2009 12:53

I really hope you get this sorted out.

I am sure there are lots of Y7 mums following this thread with baited breath.

Keep faith with yourself. Agree with VQs point that he's bright, loved and he's got you! Massive advantage over most kids he encounters.

LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 14:06

Fordie, I have got to top up my mobile have spent £40 in 2 days calling schools lol. But then will get onto the city of london school.

Riven, I have not got the first idea as to where i would start tbh!

Maria, I am so stressed out, I just don't seem to know where to turn next

snice · 15/10/2009 14:10

If you could bear him to board this place is wonderful and has amazing scholarships

sarah293 · 15/10/2009 14:45

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LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 14:53

Snice looks brill but i could not board him!! OMG i would be lost and so would he lol.

I have a reply from one of the schools who say they have no vacancies but director of admissions will give me as much advice as poss if i call.

sarah293 · 15/10/2009 14:58

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LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 15:07

Violetqueen, I have now emailed all the schools you suggested THANKYOU!!!!

LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 15:08

Riven, that is what i am doing at the moment. I am emailing/phoning all the schools and have explained exactly what the situation is.

Hopefully one will have a place!!!!!

(you still going on 28th?)

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper · 15/10/2009 15:09

I've kept my DS away from school (just for the odd day when he couldn't face going in) for much less than this.

As adults, if we're in a place of work or education where we're being mis treated in some way, we generally have the power and choice to change jobs or college to get out of that situation.

Children rely on us to protect them and serve their best interests, and it sounds as if this is what you're doing for your son in the absence of any effective action from the school.

I'm not in your area, but I'd urge you to keep focused on the result you want - a safe, decent place for your child to learn.

There must be schools who'd fall over themselves for a bright, keen lad - don't know how you feel about private, but I've heard of people getting amazing 'one-off' deals in that sector.

Leave no stone unturned and good luck.

LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 15:15

I just got a reply from one school which is private but we just cannot afford the fee's and their scholarships go to the children already there....

this is the reply i got..

Dear Ms H

Thank you for your message and I am so sorry to know about your son's difficulties at school. Unfortunately we are already completely full in Year 7 and have no vacancy for which we could consider an application for him at the present time.

Nevertheless, if you would like I should be glad to take his details so that if a vacancy arose I could let you know. There are a number of other children who would also be interested in joining us in Year 7, so in such circumstances I would contact the parents of them all and invite them to bring their son or daughter for an entrance test at the school. Although the school offers some bursary funding unfortunately it is all allocated to children already in the school, so any vacancy would be for a fee-paying place only. Our fees are currently £4,479 per term.

If you would like me to take your son's details do get in touch again, and I will be glad to put them on file. I should need to know:

Your son's full name
His date of birth
Your postal address and telephone number
The name of the school your son has just been withdrawn from
The name of his primary school

You will find lots of information about the school on our website, and here is the link: www.alleyns.org.uk/school.aspx?sid=2. If you would like to come to our forthcoming open afternoon on Wednesday 11th November at 2pm you will, of course, be very welcome.

I'm so sorry we can't offer the opportunity of a place for your son at the present time.

Best wishes

Yours sincerely

Lucy Aldwinckle
Registrar

sarah293 · 15/10/2009 15:21

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violetqueen · 15/10/2009 15:41

Hi lady evening stars - think you can now email me direct .
I'm quite local to you so perhaps if you get in touch I could help a bit more.

LadyEvenstarsCauldren · 15/10/2009 19:51

Thanks For calling and sorry it was so manic Violet!!!!