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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

teachers swearing at class!

56 replies

jetcat32 · 30/04/2009 07:53

hi, i am looking for opinions please, as not sure if i over-reacting due to my own values.

A couple of days ago DD1 came home from school quite upset that teacher had swore at tthem (she is mild SEN as has very strong ffeelings about swearing). Apparantly nnearly the whole cclass had been misbehaving, and they had all been put on detention (another thing which upsets DD, as she cant understand why has to be punished - ddespite me trying to explain to her!) and the teacher shouted at them that they were p*ing her off! I dont agree with swearing aat all, but i also understand that teachers hhave a stressful job, esp is class are playing up, so thought i would ask for opinions.

same thing yesterday. different teacher, "bloody hell" etc and things along those lines - not even sure if that is swearing these days - i am just harking back to my very strict church upbringing lol!

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 30/04/2009 07:57

It's not acceptable. And I'm potty mouthed

frasersmummy · 30/04/2009 08:02

Thats completely unacceptable behaviour from any proffessional dealing with your child

It means the teacher has lost control

what kind of example is that for the children??

bet the kids would find themselves in detention if they said they were pissed off

chimchar · 30/04/2009 08:13

unnaceptable. BUT, teachers are only human, and i can bet the teacher probably used that phrase in a moment of sheer frustration.. she could have said a lot worse...

sad that it upset your daughter though...

chimchar · 30/04/2009 08:14

actually, i have made the assumption that this is secondary school...if its primary school, then completely out of order!

Tn0g · 30/04/2009 08:15

Not acceptable and very unprofessional.

jetcat32 · 30/04/2009 09:25

sorry, should have said it was secondary school - yr 7 class. Chimchar i agree in a way, that she was probablt well fed up, but it was the fact that DD was so upset, and then it happened again with a different teacher the very next day!!

I was thinking of writing to the head - would that be the responsible thing to do??

OP posts:
chimchar · 30/04/2009 09:33

you could write....

you would be justified in making a complaint, but if it were me, i would try and speak to the head or deputy to try to sort it out in a "can you have a word" type way instead of a formal complaint iykwim?

tbh, it depends..to me, if the teachers are usually good, and your dd enjoys their lessons, i wouldn't bother, and i would give them a bit of slack on this one occasion.

as you know though, swearing is part of everyday language, and maybe you can try and talk to your dd about how some people use bad words, and what she doesn't like about swearing..maybe she accociates it with anger and fear...something that hopefully can be worked on to help her with everyday life.

hope your dd recovers!

jetcat32 · 30/04/2009 09:48

thanks chimchar - i was going to do it informally, not a formal letter to governers, as we are supposed to do!

DD is mild SN, with everything black and white - there is no grey area for the occasional swear word to fall into! Drives me mad at times lol - we had a car crash a couple of years ago (the only time she has heard me swear) and she was more upset at me swearing than the state of us and the car!!!
She is now seeing a peads consultant, so hopefully we can come up with stratagies.

It is not a case of me complaining to get the teacher into trouble, its just that when DD gets upset, it can take her days to get over it, which then upsets the rest of her work! ANd to be honest, i dont really want her to go to school thinking that she p*** the teacher off, as she already has confidence issues!

OP posts:
TsarChasm · 30/04/2009 09:55

I would be furious and I'd complain in writing and expect a reply. I would want the teacher spoken to.

It is not acceptable behaviour from one teacher let alone two!

shinyshoes · 30/04/2009 10:08

I could have wrote that OP except I know it's not the same school as my DS goes to a single sex school.

They other day he said 'this class is hard to teach as it's full of faggotts and idiots' .

Not quite sure what to do. I've been in school and said words like criey. I think 'pissing me off' is a bit much though, perhaps bring it up with the headteacher a quiet word if you like.

islandofsodor · 30/04/2009 10:11

The teacher is probably posting for advice on the Times Ed forums now saying After an awful day I finally lost it with my Year x's and swore at them.

What do I do, am I going to be disciplined?

morningpaper · 30/04/2009 10:12

I don't think the swearing is that bad in secondary - she must hear all sorts in the playground? but the teacher needs to know that she is sensitive to bad language. I'd have a word with the teacher and explain that first. If she apologises then leave it. If she's defensive and arsey then have a word with the head.

Greensleeves · 30/04/2009 10:13

sodor, if she is, I imagine most of the responses would be along the lines of "oh dear, we all lose our tempers sometimes but you really can't swear at the children - you will have to apologise and face up to it, but it's unlikely you'll lose your job"

that would be a fair response IMO

TsarChasm · 30/04/2009 10:16

The OP says it happened again yesterday with another teacher too though.

bambipie · 30/04/2009 10:19

I'm a teacher and this sounds to me as though the teacher in question had lost control of the class and his/her temper. You should have a word with Head of Year or similar. Totally out of order IMO.

morningpaper · 30/04/2009 10:23

Ah yes the second teacher - depends what the "etc" was - 'bloody hell' isn't really swearing IMO.

slug · 30/04/2009 10:28

Crikey shinyshoes, I'd be writing a formal complaint about homophobic language after that comment.

I worked in FE and with some of the more deliqinent challenging classes, language that bordered on the fruity chould be quite effective, but even then it was always kept just on the right side of acceptable.

jetcat32 · 30/04/2009 10:58

thanks all, cant see head of year as he is suspended! (sounds like a lovely school lol!)

its hard getting out of DD what the other words were, as she wont repeat them, just says what it starts with - i got the p'ing me off one, and the bloody hell - she did say another started with f - which could be the really bad 4 letter one or the not so bad 7 letter one - she was so upset i just left it at that. will maybe probe her tonight, as i do think that even if i dont make a formal complaint, someone needs to say something to these teachers.

And yes, she would hear it in the playground - except that she spends all breaks in the library as she has trouble making/keeping friends due to her strict beliefs! In the past i have had to stop her from going over to a bunch of lads a few years older than her to tell them to stop swearing - i could see her getting told in no uncertain terms where to go.......

OP posts:
islandofsodor · 30/04/2009 11:18

My dh once said the f word in front of a class of kids when he dropped a keyboard on his foot.

Luckily no-one complained.

morningpaper · 30/04/2009 11:55

You say "strict beliefs" - are these religious or self-imposed? If she only has mild SEN it seems a shame that she is excluding herself so severely. Is she having help for this?

Dumbledoresgirl · 30/04/2009 11:58

I don't think the language as such would bother me (but then I swear frequently in front of my children and do not see swearing as a dreadful thing) but it would bother me that the teacher was not in control of a) the class and b) his/her emotions.

Dumbledoresgirl · 30/04/2009 12:00

Oh, sorry I just read your more recent post. I would draw the line at the F word. To me bloody hell is really not awful, pissing me off is not good, and the F word is unacceptable.

And the Head of year is suspended? B*y H*l! Go to the head.

jetcat32 · 30/04/2009 12:13

morningpaper - i was brought up in a very religious household, where any kind of bad language was severely punished. Nowadays, i am a lot more relaxed, and its just personal choice that i dont swear, and i also dont take offence when others do.

DD however does, very much so. And yes, she is having help (previous work with EP on friendship rules and social skills) and is also about to start assessment from Paeds consultant.

Islandofsodor - bless your dh!! I bet that hurt!!!! But, i do think there is a difference between swearing when something like that happens (when no doubt it was directed at himself, or possibly the keyboard!) - immense pain etc - and swearing directly at the class.?

OP posts:
islandofsodor · 30/04/2009 12:35

It was a piano keyboard too (not a computer one)

But yes I agree there is a difference. He had a reputation for falling over or bumping into everything. The kids used to laugh at him all the time like the time he walked into a proper piano.

morningpaper · 30/04/2009 12:42

Good, I'm glad she is getting help. I think that the fact that she is in exile in the library so she doesn't mix with her peers is a far more worrying problem than a teacher swearing. I really hope that things improve soon.