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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

How much assistance are you giving your Yr7 child to organise themselves?

20 replies

GrapefruitMoon · 03/10/2008 14:57

Prompted by a text from dd asking me to bring in 2 things she had forgotten!

She is not supposed to use her phone during the day anyway - plus I didn't see the text in time to do anything about it.

I am inclined to be tough with her - especially as I reminded her twice yesterday to get her bag ready for today as she had an activity yesterday evening.

What would you have done if you had seen the text on time?

OP posts:

mrspnut · 03/10/2008 15:01

Ignored it, I bought my DD a set of magazine files to store all her school books in and did her a copy of her timetable on the computer which is stuck on her bedroom wall so she can refer to the timetable whilst getting her books out of the containers.

Everything else is her responsibility, including telling me in good time what ingredients she needs for cooking and when her PE kit needs washing for.

MaryAnnSingleton · 03/10/2008 15:03

am agreeing with mrspnut - it's hard not to get involved in organising and I confess to doing it more than I should but I can see that ds is gradually learning to take responsibility !

Original poster

GrapefruitMoon · 03/10/2008 15:04

Ok was worried I was being too harsh on her!

OP posts:

modernart · 03/10/2008 15:06

Agree with mrspnut. I learnt the hard way with my now older DCs that if you take their stuff into school once then it happens regularly. My Yr 7s now know I won't do it and they are coping fine.

christywhisty · 03/10/2008 15:10

DS yr8: I don't drive and school is 5 miles away so if he forgot something there is no way I can get it to him as I am in work 9 to 3. I think DH once dropped his french book in for him when he first started.
DS then got told off for not admitting he didn't have his book at the start of the lesson, although he got let off a demerit because he said he was trying to work out how to say "I have forgot my book" in French.

HeinzSight · 03/10/2008 15:12

I'm pretty much leaving DS to it, although he has never been the most organised boy, I pretty impressed with him so far. I do have to keep on top of him with his homework though.

roisin · 03/10/2008 18:17

Like Christywhisty I am out at work so couldn't take ds1 any missing stuff anyway, and I can't imagine dh would. If he forgets things he will have to take the rap. (Nothing major so far.)

Each evening I remind him to check his timetable and pack his bag for the next day. I do usually check afterwards still and remind him if there's something he's forgotten. But I tell him frequently that it is his responsibility.

It helps when this message is backed up by school and also if school are strict about forgotten stuff. Ds1's school is very strict. My school isn't. I had yr10s and yr11s for cover lessons in Maths today and most didn't have calculators and protractors. Even pens, pencils and rulers were thin on the ground

We've set up simple systems that work and he can pretty much organise everything himself.

Today he even remembered to bring home his muddy/smelly PE kit for washing/cleaning!

SqueakyPop · 03/10/2008 18:42

My Y7 child is at the same school as me, and she is in one Y7 form and I am the form tutor of the other one.

If she forgets something at home, there is no way to get it. I do sort of know what she needs from home, eg PE Kit and cookery ingredients, so can subtly check that she has them. I have never actually had to remind her.

When I dismiss the girls at the end of the day, I always ask about missing jumpers, and insist they wear their blazers, etc. I treat her the same as everyone else.

We don't need a copy of her timetable at home or a place to keep her books, as she keeps everything at school. The only stuff she brings home is for homework that she is doing that night, and then it gets done and goes straight back into her backpack.

magentadreamer · 03/10/2008 19:33

DD has suprised me with how organised she is. Basically if she doesn't need it for homework she stores all books etc in her locker. The only thing I have to remind her about is bringing her PE kit home on Friday nights.

Tinker · 03/10/2008 19:38

Probably ignored it too. My daughter's school seems pretty good a handing out red marks for transgressions. I think they should learn the tough(er) way.

Have to say, am surprised at how organised my eldest has been, Leaves teh house before any of us now. It is so much calmer in teh morning.

pointydog · 03/10/2008 20:01

The situation doesn't arise because no one's at home during the day. But if I were at home, I would take it to her. Are you worried she would do this a lot and start to rely on you?

cory · 03/10/2008 21:27

I do not drive, I don't have a mobile and am not necessarily at home either. If she forgets her stuff- tough, she'll have to take the detention!

Janni · 03/10/2008 21:42

Yr 7 - loads. The hardest part of secondary school for him was organising himself.

Now he's in Year 8 - barely any. He does everything himself.

ivykaty44 · 03/10/2008 21:44

I was told by a friend the other day she had been told

You help them in year 7 until half term, you show them how to organise themselves and then after october half of year 7 you stop

roisin · 03/10/2008 21:51

I like that guidance ivykaty44. I think I will try and give that a whirl. ds1 is getting on fine and generally remembers everything, but I have still been reminding him and prompting him. The right time is approaching to step back completely and let him just manage it all himself fully.

unknownrebelbang · 03/10/2008 21:57

I don't think DS2 would text me, but I'd have ignored it if he had.

I do hassle him to get everything ready, but to be fair, considering his nature, he's not doing too bad so far (DS1 usually sets a reasonable exmaple), but once he's out the door, that's it.

Unlike the mother who stopped the bus to hand over the clarinet her daughter had forgotten...

Original poster

GrapefruitMoon · 04/10/2008 11:49

Well, they get a "code" in their homework diary if they have forgotten something and get detention if they get 3 in a week.... one of the things forgotten was the homework diary! If the teacher remembers next week I told dd she is likely to have two codes for forgetting two things so if she forgets anything next week she will have detention!

She also had a school disco last night and forgot to take in her ticket so had to pay again - with borrowed money [sigh]

OP posts:

castille · 04/10/2008 11:54

For a first offence I'd probably take the forgotten thing in.

After that, tough!

For the disco, she should pay friend back herself from pocket money, I reckon.

amicissima · 04/10/2008 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bellavita · 04/10/2008 21:46

Probably more than I should - but I am learning to "chill" over it and accept that he is growing up and if he forgets something then he will have to take the rap for it.

He is not doing too bad though tbh, he took the wrong English book in on the second week and received an ST for this.

I have helped him with the cooking ingredients - getting them out of the cupboard, deciding which tin would be best etc and how to transport it to school, but he does weigh out his own stuff.

I remind him the night before to pack his bag and then ask him to check it before he leaves the house on a morning.

He does not take his phone to school so he cannot phone me if he has forgotten something.

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