How would you approach the school about this?

[Freckle]

We were involved in a car accident just before the schools went back. Not serious, but we were hit from by a Volvo travelling at about 30-40 mph. Only apparent injury was to DS2 who hurt his neck. We have had a number of medical appointments about this, and the A&E consultant advised that he avoid contact sports for a few weeks.

I wrote a letter to the school advising of this and asking that all games teachers be notified. DS2 came home from school yesterday having had a double games period during which he was made to play football. He was knocked down during the game and jarred his neck. We have had a dreadful night with him in a lot of pain (despite having taken 2 codeine tablets - prescribed by gp). DH is furious and has drafted a letter to DS2's form teacher, in which he mentions he is a solicitor and goes on to touch on the school's liability if DS2's injury is worsened by the school ignoring medical advice.

WWYD?

I was not meant to do games after I had knee surgery. The nasty PE teacher made me do it - I told her why I couldn't but she was quite insistent and I didn't feel like I could argue.

I went home and told my parents who then sent in a letter. When I next had PE, the teacher had obviously been spoken to and bollocked me I never mentioned that to my parents.

This is not very helpful to you really but my point is that the staff should have been aware and should have taken notice.

We haven't threatened legal action, merely suggested to the school that, if they think they can ignore medical advice regarding a child's safety, then they should take legal advice on their position.

Obviously we will do things differently in future - but we shouldn't have to. I have in the past written to one of the boys' form teachers and asked them to ensure that appropriate staff are aware of a given situation and it's been fine. I also didn't send DS2 in with his PE kit; he'd left it in school so it was readily available.

What I hate about this situation is their automatic response of blaming the child. There was no "We're terribly sorry that this happened. Clearly there was a breakdown in communication and we will look into how this situation arose. It may be that DS2 forgot to give the letter to his PE teacher, but we will have to investigate further." It was an automatic "It was DS2's fault." The person I spoke to even went so far as to say that he'd seen DS2 rolling down a bank "with 6 other members of staff" (I suspect he didn't actually mean that, lol), as if to say, well he can't be that bad or, if there is any more damage to his neck, it's his fault. DS2 denies rolling down any bank. It's hard to know what to think when faced with that sort of defensive stance.

You might not have literally threated legal action, but mentioning legal liability may be interpreted that way by a lay person.

It was unnecessary.

If your goal is an apology and a review of procedures, there are other ways of going about it - starting off with empathising of the school's difficulty in ensuring that your request is complied with, before going for the kill.

If I were to review procedures, I would suggest that one should be to inform the subject teacher directly (copying the form tutor), and having the the pupil carry a note with him so that he can show it in the event of having a supply or cover teacher for the lesson. I would also suggest avoiding jargon (such as use of the term 'contact' sport) - and instead list the prohibited sports - so that all parties, notably the child, are clear.

Another thought about how it can be difficult for schools to follow your instructions - the kid often says that they are feeling better, and the note is no longer current. It happens all the time. If the child had to sit out for 2 hours when they were anxious to be involved, and went home and told you this, I think it is not unheard of for some parents to be cross at this to. It's a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

*last line - should be a too.

But we are merely parents who know little of the internal workings of a large school. Surely it is down to the school to ensure that procedures are in place so that both the child and the parents know what to do in a given situation. Relying on the child (who denies knowing what the procedure is - as does his brother who is in Y10) is laying themselves open to potentially serious problems.

In an ideal word perhaps, but a large school is very far from being ideal.

If something is vitally important to you, it is better to over-communicate than leave it to chance.

Schools are also fairly chaotic places in the first week of term, with staff juggling huge amounts of information that all has to be dealt with quickly.

I really didn't think I'd left it to chance. I sent a letter to DS2's form tutor. He read it. How is that leaving it to chance? I rather think giving the letter back to the child and expecting him to remember to give it to the PE teacher at some later point either that day or another day is more like leaving it to chance.

At the end of the day your DS shouldn't have been playing football if the PE teacher knew all about his whiplash injury. I personally would have bypassed any form tutor as that to me means the form teacher has to track down a PE teacher and tell someone in the PE dept that Freckle jr isn't to play games. That PE teacher then has to track down any other PE teacher who will be teaching your DS. Unfortunately this is like a game of chinese whispers and given that in between passing on messages etc they do do lessons. A letter give to the relevant teacher(s) should be the safest way to do this. I do say SHOULD as in your experience even though your DS did hand the letter to a PE teacher he still ended up in a situation that left him in pain afterwards. This situation shouldn't have happend and I do hope your DS won't suffer lasting consequences of it but I can see how it did happen due to communication problems on both parties sides. As I said before I would have sent a letter to the PE teacher stating no sport and not no contact sport as any kind of excersise can jar necks again. I'm sure the school is now looking into the procedures it has in place and especially since your DH has threatened legal action.

I'm sorry it has turned out like this for you but I don't think the school is 100% to blame.

Communications are a two-way process and as the author, you are the one with the most responsibility.

You may feel that you have done all you could, but it was clearly not effective. It should have worked, but similarly buses should run on time, and there should be no crime. It's idealistic and far from realistic.

If your child is in a school with 1300 pupils and 200 staff members, then communication is always going to be a challenge. Imagine if you were in a business environment with this number of people!

I know that schools always give you the line that the form tutor is the first line of contact blah blah blah, but it doesn't take long to realise that this isn't effective, especially when there is a time element involved.

Put yourself in the shoes of the form tutor and the games master and try to imagine what it is like to make sure they are doing their best for all their pupils (your child not being their only one). It's not easy in a large school. The form teacher is in teaching for his love of his subject, not for his admin skills. There is very little flexibility of time to do admin tasks in schools, because everyone has to conform to the timetable.

As for the games teacher - your DS shows up in his games kit and plays football. What is he to do? Abandon his class to go to telephone you? Imagine that it was about another child - would you have been happy that your child had been abandoned?

Seriously, if you want such individual attention, you have to send your child to a smaller school where everyone knows everyone.

My child is in a relatively small school - 900 not 1300 pupils. As a parent, I do not know about the workings of a school, so sending a letter to the form tutor (the one we sent was not just about PE) seems the sensible thing to do. We mentioned contact sports because that's what the A&E consultant stipulated. And we did not threaten legal action, merely suggested that the school look into its position wrt liability if they make a habit of ignoring medical advice.

I have sent similar letters in the past and no one has contacted me and said, "Oh btw, please ensure all communications regarding PE are sent direct to the PE department".

Message withdrawn

Exactly, Bloss. By playing the legal card, it ahs meant that there is no scope for the school to apologise because that means they admit some kind of liability.

I also think that it is extremely condescending to open up discussions with them to talk about their legal obligations.
It really is talking down to the school.

Schools, parents and students are a partnership and have common goals. It makes no sens to make enemies.

I wouldn't trust a PE teacher to look out for an injured child, tbh. One tried to make me do PE when I'd broken my arm - she even claimed she'd phoned the hospital and it wasn't broken at all! Nutter.

The procedure re off-games seems to be lax at your school Freckle.

At dd's school, there is a strict procedure which is written down as policy in letters to the parents at least once a term.

We have to put in writing to the school office, addressed to the Head, any periods of off-games. There is then a list on the noticeboard at the entrance to the sports hall of all children who are off-games and for how long, and which games. We have to specify all, or which ones if not all. And for how long, eg. one week; rest of term; until further notice, etc.

What I dont understand is that in all the schools I have worked in the pupils have to bring in a note to the PE teacher if they cannot take part in PE. This is to make sure that pupils cant just turn up for PE and say they are 'ill or injured' instead of telling the truth and saying they forgot their kit. this usually results in detention. All PE departments will remind pupils of their rules, so im quite supprised that both your children did not know the rules of the school. I think your children might be having you on.

Freckle - you are understandably very upset because your son a) was hurt in a car crash and b) went on to hurt himself further at school, despite you having done what you thought was sufficient to prevent this happening.

As the mother of a secondary school aged child, however, I find myself agreeing with squeakypop and the other teachers on here, who are explaining how things actually work in the very imperfect world of secondary education.

When you are feeling less upset about your son's condition I think you will be able to read this thread more objectively.

I don't think my children are having me on, i.e. lying. I could see that DS2 might think it is in his interests to claim no knowledge of procedure, but DS1 has absolutely no reason to do so. So, even if the school is satisfied that their procedures are good enough, they are of no use if the pupils don't actually know them, not to mention pupils.

I do feel that any procedure which places most reliance on a child remembering to do what is necessary is a procedure which is bound to fail at some point.

Sorry, not to mention parents.

Procedures fail because they rely on humans beings - not to isolate individual pupils, parents or teachers.

I agree that everyone makes mistakes, but it is less likely to happen with a professionally trained adult than with a scatty 12 yo who is functioning on auto-pilot because of lack of sleep - or just because he's scatty .

Cool to recognise that you are dealing with professionals....

Not folks that you lecture about their legal liabilities, eh?

Unless you're a lawyer and can see the wider picture, which seems to be escaping them.

only lawyers can see a wider picture?

From a legal perspective, because the school clearly hasn't. I know you are looking at this from a teacher's perspective, but, seriously, if it ever came to a court case (which it obviously won't), if the school tried to say that any exacerbation to a child's injury was the fault of the child for failing to pass on an instruction which had already been notified to the school, they would fail in a massive way.

Great! You win on technicalities!