How would you approach the school about this?

[Freckle]

We were involved in a car accident just before the schools went back. Not serious, but we were hit from by a Volvo travelling at about 30-40 mph. Only apparent injury was to DS2 who hurt his neck. We have had a number of medical appointments about this, and the A&E consultant advised that he avoid contact sports for a few weeks.

I wrote a letter to the school advising of this and asking that all games teachers be notified. DS2 came home from school yesterday having had a double games period during which he was made to play football. He was knocked down during the game and jarred his neck. We have had a dreadful night with him in a lot of pain (despite having taken 2 codeine tablets - prescribed by gp). DH is furious and has drafted a letter to DS2's form teacher, in which he mentions he is a solicitor and goes on to touch on the school's liability if DS2's injury is worsened by the school ignoring medical advice.

WWYD?

Where is his games kit? Is it worth bringing it all home to ensure that he can't get changed?
To avoid confusion, is it best to do no school sport at all (contact or otherwise)?

When you say "football" you specifically mean soccer right? I am fairly certain that games like basketball, tag-rugby and soccer are oficially non-contact sports, so maybe the problem is with the A&E consultant not being clear that he meant any sport where you are likely to get knocked over, even accidentally.

It is very possible that the P.E. teacher understood it to mean

It is very possible that the P.E. teacher understood soccer to be a non-contact sport.

Also make sure you brief him before next PE lesson on exactly what he is to say. Kids can be muddle-headed, especially when in pain, so it does help if a responsible adult has been through the scenario with them already. (Have been spending a lot of time lately running through these types of scenarios with dd as there would be plenty of opportunities for her to get injured at school if she didn't know how to explain herself to teachers). Bringing his games kit home is a good suggestion.

But don't necessarily expect the school to be able to organise another fun activity for him. They may not have the staff or resources. Dd has spent a lot of time just sitting on the lines watching her classmates. Hopefully they'll be able to do better for him than that; at least they might let him work in the library.

I didn't know football was a contact sport! I'm in a bit of the same situation; my son isn't allowed to run, jump or pound on his leg (the surgeon's words) and will gradually build up to being able to do everything.

I've talked to the school but we've decided that he'll decide what's ok and not as the school is a bit overprotective. Everyone is ok with that. He's 10 and pretty responsible (has food allergies and carries an Epi Pen and has responsibility for that, too, although the teachers do keep an eye on sweets that people bring, occasionally, to class and know about the Epi Pen). If the school made him do something he thought he shouldn't, I'd be furious.

But I wouldn't trust my younger son (7) to keep within medical guidelines and would certainly expect the teachers to make sure he followed them!

When you looked up football as a contact sport you will possibly find it is because American football, Aussie rules football, rugby etc really are contact sports. Others would include wrestling and boxing. All obviously a bad idea for your DS.

I think YABU, it is not the school's fault that he happened to get injured if he was playing soccer and the note did not specify that he should not. He was unlucky to fall badly and I hope your DS is better soon.

Hmmm - I think if your son decided to play it despite knowing he shouldn't they may not have done anything wrong apart from not enforce your wishes. Did anyone try to stop him?

but footballers get tackled for the ball = accidents where you are going to fall etc.

Table tennis is a bit different IMO.

Flossish - I agree that playing football was foolish under the circumstances, but if the letter Freckle's DS only mentioned contact sports and soccer is considered non-contact the school is unlikely to be liable for any damage exacerbated by the fall.

Freckle's DH has drafted a letter mentioning the school's liability.

We have been given to understand that football does count as a contact sport for medical purposes, as you are constantly bumping into one another/getting tackled. So definitely one to avoid.

Just asked the footballing men around me, it seems that their consensus is technically and according to the rules, football (soccer) is non-contact. But in practise there is lots of contact so definitely one to avoid if injured. The discussion then degenerated into tales of horrible injuries sustained while playing.

I am not sure where this leaves the school in terms of liability. If they are liable it is little wonder that there are so few sporting outlets for DC.

I think teachers who deal with football regularly will be perfectly aware that, even if technically classed as a non-contact sport, it is a contact sport. There is constant contact between opponents, even (or should I say especially) at professional level when all participants should know not to make contact, are fit and supposedly skilled.

There are two types of contact sport : contact and collision. Rugby and American football are classed as collision sport, because contact is an integral part of the game; others such as football are classed as contact because contact inevitably happens even if it isn't considered to be part of the game.

DS2 didn't know what constituted a contact sport so wasn't aware to raise the issue when told to play. His teachers should have been aware - even if it is not technically classed (in their book) as a contact sport, any numbnutz can see the potential for damage to a child with a neck injury.

Had a call from the school today - said they didn't have a number on file for DH, which is a load of bollocks because I filled in the personal information form for both boys and know I put it on there.

Anyway, the fault, apparently, is entirely DS2's. He should have given the letter to his PE teacher (which he says he did, but the teacher denies seeing it). The teacher would then have put the letter on file. So why did DS2's form teacher ask for the letter back in the afternoon? Surely if the normal procedure is for the PE teacher to put the letter on file, DS2 shouldn't have had it to return to the form teacher, who would have known this.

My view is that the school is skating on very thin ice, from a legal perspective, if a child hands a letter like this to a member of staff who reads it and returns it to the child, and the school seeks to absolve itself of any legal liability on the grounds that it was the child's responsibility to ensure the letter got to the correct member of the PE staff. It is DH's view too - we are both legally trained. DH is drafting another letter as I type. God I hate this sort of thing.

What do you actually want to happen given that you can't turn back time?

An acknowledgement from the school that they made a mistake and some change in their procedures to ensure it doesn't happen again. However, this is unlikely to happen given that they will not accept any responsibility.

I think they are probably on the backfoot with the initial complaint being a backhanded threat of legal action.

I don't think grovelling is the first instinct in these situations.

I think you really need to understand what it is actually like in schools. If you send a note to a form tutor, it may take a while to filter through the system. I don't have a problem in my school because I have 12 in my tutor group, and see all members of staff in the course of a day. I can remember individual needs and remember to convey them (I am making a special effort to get off to a good start this year).

It is sooooo different in a large school, where the relationships are not so well established (both pupil-teacher and teacher-teacher). The tutor may be bombarded with many similar requests - it genuinely is hard to juggle, even though they should be able to do it. They are only human. Sometimes teachers don't even know who their colleagues are, beyond their own department.

Honestly, if you want to give an instruction to the PE staff, it really is best to contact them directly - especially when it is so important. And for your DS to speak up for himself.

You've probably partly achieved your goal - the school will no doubt review their procedures, even if you don't get the apology.

I really don't think there is any place for antagonistic relationships between parents/teachers/pupils - you are all on the same side. And you are all human and fallible.

Much of the conversation revolved around what were the established procedures in the school for this sort of thing and that all boys are aware of what they should do. I have spoken to both my boys and neither of them has ever been told what to do in these circumstances and were unaware of procedures. It seems that, because the school considers it to be established procedure, they somehow assume that all pupils are aware of it - presumably by some form of osmosis.

If they want parents to send letters direct to PE staff, they should make it clear. I have looked through all the documentation from the school and parents' notes, etc., and there is nothing in there about this. From our perspective, we had informed the school of the situation and expected the medical advice to be followed. It wasn't.

From the school's perspective, whilst I agree with getting boys to accept more personal responsibility, it seems a little naive to expect a child to pass on such a message when the school will be held liable in the event that it isn't - especially if the child in question isn't aware of "established procedure".

It is and never has been our intention to be antagonistic. However, this is a potentially serious situation and the school needs to accept that (a) its procedures are lacking if the message about medical advice did not reach the appropriate member of staff and (b) blaming the child is not designed to improve relationships with the parents.

There is the ideal situation and there is real life.

Personally I would have given my Dd a letter to give to the PE teacher direct and not to his Form tutor and stipulated no PE as any excessive movement can cause problems with whip lash injuries. How is he feeling now? Have you had to take him back to see your GP?

Oops I meant her not his!!

Surely if football is classed as non-contact and your letter said contact then they are in the clear so to speak.
I thought that 'technically' bit didn't have much sway legally.
If he's over 10 wont the courts expect him to speak up for himself?

oh and hope ds feels better soon.
I'd go with having the PE kit at home!

No, they wouldn't be in the clear. Football is obviously a contact sport - any sport where the player can come into contact with the other players is a contact sport. The school should realise that a child with a neck injury should not be playing any sport which could exacerbate the injury in any way. The school actually admitted that on the phone. They just deny that they were adequately notified. But we sent a letter to the school which his form tutor admits was handed in. I'm not sure what else we should have done.

I feel very sorry for you and your son, but I think you should have a blanket ban on games full stop at the moment and not allow your son to even have kit with him, to ensure there is no misunderstanding. I would also, at this point, not go in all guns blazing with threats of legal action, no matter how upset you are because you should have told your son very clearly 'no games' and, if you had any concern that he would play anyway, you should have spoken directly to the PE department as well as sending a letter. I hope your son feels better soon.

There are two issues here. One is how to get the appropriate and best care for your ds and secondly how to make the school responsible for its actions. I think that the former and the latter really have to be handled in different ways. Writing letters from lawyers may solve the latter, but probably won't in the short term solve the former.
In order to get the best care for your ds, could I suggest that in future you personally contact all involved teachers directly rather than leave it to a letter to be delivered by a child to a teacher who is then supposed to disseminate the information to all and sundry. In my experience, even though legally, technically, rightfully your way of dealing with it should have been sufficient, the reality is that if you want it actually done properly you need to double and triple deliver the information yourself directly to the relevant people.
2 years ago, my ds got this weird inflamed hip thing that meant he couldn't walk. The treatment was several weeks of ibuprofen and rest. I personally went to ds' teacher, PE teachers, head, yard supervisors, after school carers and after school director and told each and every one that ds wasn't to do any activities that involved standing or walking or running. Ds was given a book to read at lunchtime and was supposed to be allowed to either stay in the classroom or sit on a bench outside. Even with all of that, i found him one day abandoned by everyone in a classroom because they forgot that he couldn't walk without help.