Kingsdale vs Graveney?

[Piripara]

DD has received a full Kingsdale scholarship and scored 260 in the Wandsworth Test. We've visited both Kingsdale and Graveney but are torn! DD very slightly favours Kingsdale after a positive audition, but is otherwise quite undecided, while DH and I each favour a different school - so no tiebreaker there.

Commutes are similar, and both seem strong academically and musically. Compared to her small state primary, we're daunted by the size of both schools (especially Kingsdale!), but they seem the best fit for DD.

With the CAF deadline looming, I've been trawling Mumsnet but would really appreciate additional insights into the pros and cons from parents familiar with either school (ideally both! to offer a comparison). Thanks!

Graveney if your child is highly academic. Kingsdale is good for socialising, friendship groups, trips, school clubs. Suit really well confident, sporty, artistic children. Sport’s achievements are highly celebrated. Not so good for STEM - unless your child can self study. Lots of school politics. Active parents WhatsApp groups.

A child with the ability to get a selective place at Graveney?

Graveney.

Please tell me more re: academics at Graveney? Is it like a hothoused grammar stream, which some of the previous posts about Graveney on Mumsnet seem to allude to? At the Kingsdale open day the staff talked about pupils going into sets from Y8 or 9 for different subjects, which sounded ideal. DD is actually quite strong in STEM, what I don't know at this stage is whether she needs that school provision or will be able to thrive with outside tutoring.

@WineAndMassage could you elaborate more about the school politics? Do you mean, amongst the children?

The Graveney Extension stream isn’t exactly a hot house - but students are streamed from the off so she would be amongst other bright students for all subjects. And as the selective places are ‘super selective’, I.e those who score highest in the Wandsworth Test, there will be a higher ratio of v bright children than in Kingsdale, where the banded entry represents the ‘unselected’ cohort. Including, of course, v bright children.

The music offer is also excellent at Graveney.

Both, children and staff. Clear division of peer groups among children - nerds; sporty and popular; musicians, etc.

Yikes this worries me. DD's current school has been great at fostering a sense of kindness and inclusivity (possibly because it's so small). So even though she might be near the top of her class and an all-rounder, everyone respects one another's strengths and efforts. Does the tribalism at Kingsdale lead to negative outcomes? For instance, it's natural that people gravitate towards those similar to them, but I would not want DD in an environment where tribes look down or up to each other based on some perceived social hierarchy within the school. Or worse still, if she ends up outside a tribe and feeling isolated because she doesn't want to pigeonhole herself.

Appreciate everyone's responses so far, thank you. Also mindful this is Mumsnet and people will have different perspectives depending on their child's own experience.

I've got two children at Kingsdale.

I've always viewed the ability to hang out with like minded kids there as a positive vs their smaller primary school.

One of the advantages is that whilst they stay with the same form throughout school, their actual classes are mixed up with other kids, and these change a bit each year so they get to know many children through the school, in addition to meeting kids through clubs.

Both my kids have friends who you could put in most of the categories above so our experience is that it's not as tribal as said above (might be different for different year groups and everyone has different experiences).

Both my children play for sports teams for the school. The oldest doesn't hang out with anyone from the team (obviously he will speak in passing etc) and the youngest hangs out with 2 kids from his team, so for them anyway, this isn't the case.

I guess if you are an Art scholar, you will meet more art minded kids, same for music, maths, sports and naturally you might develop more friendships through those things but as I said there is a lot of misxing through the classes.

Good luck with your decision, sounds like you have 2 good options!

Both good options
KFS set for everything very early.
Huge school but feels small as the year groups are all on staggered timetables and don't really mix.

They pretty much cater for everyone academically and socially. Staff have a sense of humour.

DD left at end of Y11 for a specialist 6th form and now in Y13. Tomorrow she's off to a Halloween party with all her old KFS friends. Very happy 5 years there. She's very musical, and very dyslexic. They got her to actually like maths.