DD is a month into yr 8 at our local state secondary. It's got a good OFSTED rating and an outstanding sixth form, but in any case, even if it was in special measures, it's our only option for miles.
Since DD started there, her performance at school has nosedived. She scored the highest in her year on her SATS tests in yr 6 and was well above the national average. By any measurement she is bright. Over the summer holidays she's taught herself a whole new language that has a non-latin alphabet (not one that's taught in schools, just one that she likes). She's an incredibly talented artist and draws constantly, she also taught herself how to do animation. She used to read voraciously and write long stories with amazing, complex vocabulary. She was on course to really hit the ground running in yr 7 but somewhere along the line it all went pear-shaped.
She's not unhappy there at all - far from it. The problem is that she really likes the social aspect of it far too much. She's always in trouble for constant talking and gossiping in class. The teachers will move her away from her friends, but because she's such a social butterfly, she just starts talking to whomever she ends up sitting next to. She's very charismatic and can charm people easily (although not her teachers it would seem! She's chosen to do battle with them instead). She's become very interested in her makeup and hair, having previously not cared about any of that stuff. She's had at least one detention per week since she started because of uniform violations - tie is too short, skirt is too short, not wearing blazer, etc. Basic, stupid stuff that is so easy for her to remedy but she persists on pushing the boundaries and has now made enemies of nearly all her teachers (except her art teacher, who loves her).
The problem is that she knows she's clever so she has become complacent and arrogant. She has lost all respect for, and trust in, the teachers and the relationship has completely broken down. She's bored out of her mind there and basically just turns up and does what she wants. She's stopped bothering with homework and does the bare minimum. If the teachers remonstrate with her, she argues back and she doesn't care about detentions at all. They're no deterrent to her.
I am at a loss. She already has very limited access to her phone and ipad anyway - she's not on any of the apps, we've never allowed them. She likes to go and meet her friends locally and go to Costa and buy makeup at Superdrug, which we have put a stop to until we see an improvement in all the nonsense at school. But I feel conflicted about that because I do like the fact that she goes out into the real world and has proper real life interactions with people, rather than spending all her time in her room. But other than that, there aren't many other sanctions we can impose - unless I'm missing something?
She does three extra curricular sports activities a week that DH and I insist on even though she moans constantly and says she hates them and wants to stop.
She's not a bad kid and she's not unhappy. She just doesn't seem to care about school at all and has no fear of the consequences. I'm not sure what I can do to address it.
We live in an affluent area but unfortunately don't have the income to keep up. In terms of school choice, there is DD's state secondary and then an abundance of eye wateringly expensive private schools. I wish I could send her to one of those as I think she'd be pushed a bit harder. We can't move as I have a local business here and my other DC are in sports teams playing for the county and it would be a real impact on them to take them away from that when they are excelling.
I'm out of ideas! How do I tame DD? My other DC aren't like this, only her!