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What would you think…..

39 replies

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:15

If a secondary school principal said (in a principal talk to parents at an open day event) that if you and your children are not prepared to co-operate with the school’s policies and behaviour expectations that you shouldn’t apply to the school?

OP posts:
Busbygirl · Yesterday 17:18

I’d think good for them and apply to another school if I wanted to break their rules before my child even started.
Some people are ridiculous

Needmorelego · Yesterday 17:20

Well yes....that makes sense.
Why would you apply to a school whose philosophy you don't agree with? (although unfortunately in some parts of the UK you don't really get much choice and it's the nearest school or nothing)

Batties · Yesterday 17:22

It’s a reasonable thing to say.

CostcoFanofThree · Yesterday 17:24

Honest but abrupt. Not my approach to raising children.

PeachTrifle · Yesterday 17:25

It's a completely reasonable thing to say. Schools need to be able to manage pupil behaviour in order to educate. Policies make it clear what those expectations are. If parents are not going to support those policies then the school is not right for their dc.

Batties · Yesterday 17:26

OP, I imagine it doesn’t apply to you if you would ensure your DC behaved well?

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:28

Busbygirl · Yesterday 17:18

I’d think good for them and apply to another school if I wanted to break their rules before my child even started.
Some people are ridiculous

Yes, that’s what I thought. Good for him for being firm and setting it out straight from the off. You could hear some of the parents at the back grumbling 🤦🏻‍♀️ He was very insistent that you sign up for the expectations they set and are reminded of them every year so he will push back if parents challenge the school about sanctions for their children’s bad behaviour.

Well impressed with the school this morning 👍

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ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:30

Batties · Yesterday 17:26

OP, I imagine it doesn’t apply to you if you would ensure your DC behaved well?

Yes definitely! The only people who would challenge this are the exact people he was talking to.

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stichguru · Yesterday 17:31

Very reasonable. When you choose to join an estabilishment, you agree to the rules and requirements of joining. If you don't agree to these rules, you should join. Applies to a school, a libary, a workplace, a gym, a nursery, wherever.

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:32

A head should expect co-operation in general, but can't demand it if the rules are unreasonable.

School leaders don't own schools, they run them on behalf of the community, so the community can have a view.

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:32

stichguru · Yesterday 17:31

Very reasonable. When you choose to join an estabilishment, you agree to the rules and requirements of joining. If you don't agree to these rules, you should join. Applies to a school, a libary, a workplace, a gym, a nursery, wherever.

Yes exactly. Unfortunately though, having worked in education for many years, schools seem to get the most pushback on this with some parents and children going in right from the off wanting to challenge them.

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concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:34

stichguru · Yesterday 17:31

Very reasonable. When you choose to join an estabilishment, you agree to the rules and requirements of joining. If you don't agree to these rules, you should join. Applies to a school, a libary, a workplace, a gym, a nursery, wherever.

A gym is completely different to a school.
One is a private enterprise, the other a publicly-funded institution providing a service on behalf of the state.

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:34

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:32

A head should expect co-operation in general, but can't demand it if the rules are unreasonable.

School leaders don't own schools, they run them on behalf of the community, so the community can have a view.

He was speaking more about when pupils think school uniform policy or behaviour expectations don’t apply to them and parents support them on that view and then challenge the school. No unreasonable rules there.

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concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:35

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:34

He was speaking more about when pupils think school uniform policy or behaviour expectations don’t apply to them and parents support them on that view and then challenge the school. No unreasonable rules there.

That's the job, isn't it?
Dealing with the community.

clary · Yesterday 17:42

I’d think that was totally reasonable. It's important that students stick to the rules and that parents back up the school. If the rules are not ones you like then yes, don’t list the school. Tho tbf as others say, in some areas you don’t have any choice of secondary. What kinds of rules?

In fact I have heard similar. A school close to us has a very struct dress code for sixth form. At an open evening the speaker went on about this at great length, and said how if a student was not prepared to stick to it, they should not attend sixth form at the school. Seems totally fair, cards on the table.

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 17:42

concertinacornflake · Yesterday 17:35

That's the job, isn't it?
Dealing with the community.

What input could the community have about the school’s behaviour policy?

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CostcoFanofThree · Yesterday 17:47

A great way to dissuade parents who’s children might need SEN accommodation. What might appear like honesty could easily be discriminatory.
Several similar threads so I suspect it was common topic at some random headteachers convention.

scaryhairy100 · Yesterday 17:52

So many hours are wasted dealing with unreasonable parents. If you don't agree with the rules, go somewhere else!

Thelessdeceived · Yesterday 18:04

I think it would be mentioned because it’s Open Evening season in schools for Yr 5s and Yr 6s seeking to confirm their choices on the secondary application form. As a teacher, I think he’s doing the right thing and making it clear from the get-go what the ethos of the school and his headship-style are. Any decent school will make reasonable adjustments for students who have sensory issues which make elements of uniform difficult or have a diagnosis/ are on the pathway/ on the SEN register at primary which make some aspects of generally - expected behaviour at secondary more difficult to achieve. You would not believe how many parents feel that the behaviour policy/ sanctions/ uniform don’t apply to their child and spend a lot of time on emailing pastoral staff and form tutors and arguing about things that aren’t unreasonable to expect when it’s in the school prospectus. This takes up time that should be spent on teaching, learning and pastoral support, especially when we have so many emotionally- vulnerable students in school post-Covid.

Thelessdeceived · Yesterday 18:07

By the way, I’m the parent of a child with ASD who had an ECHP and what upset and disturbed her far more than the uniform code were entitled, rude students who constantly disrupted lessons.

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 18:29

Thelessdeceived · Yesterday 18:04

I think it would be mentioned because it’s Open Evening season in schools for Yr 5s and Yr 6s seeking to confirm their choices on the secondary application form. As a teacher, I think he’s doing the right thing and making it clear from the get-go what the ethos of the school and his headship-style are. Any decent school will make reasonable adjustments for students who have sensory issues which make elements of uniform difficult or have a diagnosis/ are on the pathway/ on the SEN register at primary which make some aspects of generally - expected behaviour at secondary more difficult to achieve. You would not believe how many parents feel that the behaviour policy/ sanctions/ uniform don’t apply to their child and spend a lot of time on emailing pastoral staff and form tutors and arguing about things that aren’t unreasonable to expect when it’s in the school prospectus. This takes up time that should be spent on teaching, learning and pastoral support, especially when we have so many emotionally- vulnerable students in school post-Covid.

Yes that’s exactly what he said. Parents wasting time arguing over things that they agreed to on signing their child up for that school. Obviously there is reasonable adjustments made if needed, but I don’t think he’s unreasonable setting out his stall early.

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cityliving99 · Yesterday 18:31

Well if you don’t like the rules, go to another school. It’s simple.

ItsCloudyToday · Yesterday 18:33

cityliving99 · Yesterday 18:31

Well if you don’t like the rules, go to another school. It’s simple.

And most of the local schools would have exactly the same rules so if they don’t like it, tough.

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rainylake · Yesterday 18:36

The school near us that said this at the open day is the one modelled on Michaela, ie silent corridors, detentions for not “tracking” the teacher in class, enforced topics of conversation at lunch etc. I would think the school is signalling that they have policies that many parents may feel uncomfortable with and are making that clear up front. That is fine as long as there is a genuine choice for parents who don’t like it not to send their child there.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · Yesterday 18:50

@ItsCloudyToday It’s designed to put off Sen and dc who cannot stick to rigid rules. It’s designed to put off anxious dc. It’s designed to attract compliant dc and parents who are fairly hard line on discipline themselves. The sort who won’t rock any boats by daring to have an opinion. My dc would not have thrived, and I’d think this head was 100% putting off Sen dc as they are too much trouble. So not inclusive. Teachers could be disciplinarians too.