Is this a red flag or am I overthinking?

[Redisforme]

DC is in year 6. Our closest secondary had an open evening and the headmaster gave a speech. During the speech, he told us that the majority of dealings with parents were complaints about punishments, we should trust that the school had got it right and that a patient wouldn’t question a surgeon.

Whaaaaat of course you can question them! Massive red flag!! No business being a head teacher if you demand not to be questioned.

And damn right I would question my surgeon!

I never trust anyone who won't engage in a two-way conversation.

There must be a written policy available for you to review.
How many complaints are they getting, this might reflect how other parents value the education the school is providing.

I wouldn't necessarily see it as a red flag. The informal parent Facebook group for my children's school would show exactly why the head said that.

Big red flag. He sounds like a headteacher not that far from me who was eventually managed out of his role as head of an academy. Said academy is now under investigation for abusing children

I’d want to know what punishments were being implemented and for what. And yes I’d be questioning every step of the way if need be. Or I’d not put my child there.

I’m wondering why so many parents are complaining, without jumping to an unrealistic polarised position of all parents are feckless or all children behave badly.

It was an odd talk compared to the ones in other open evenings, so maybe that’s clouding my judgement too. Maybe it was the balance of the speech, other schools referred to their behaviour systems, but most of their talks were focused on the positives.

The majority of the replies to this demonstrates exactly why teachers leave in droves. Parents question every punishment and never allow the child to accept responsibility for wrongdoing. It's created an absolute monster of young adults who lack resilience, respect or responsibility and frankly it's fucking depressing.

Something similar happened at my kids secondary school. They had a reputation for being very strict. Think detentions for not having the correct equipment etc. parents complained the school was too strict they relaxed their approach to punishments and bad behaviour became rife. I’m happy to report the school went back being fairly but not overly strict and the school is now doing very well. I feel sorry for schools I think they are damed if they do damed if they don’t.

We now live in a world where children are denied toilet access to the point they shit themselves. The teachers cannot be trusted.

He should look up Martha's Law!

If by wrongdoing you mean having the wrong coloured socks, or a pen running out in a lesson, or a girl needing to change her sanitary protection you’re damn right I’ll challenge it.

My DS is in S2, I have a good relationship with the school and haven’t challenged their discipline policy, my child knows he needs to turn up, with the right equipment and show respect to his teachers. He also knows I have his back - both are important. Someone telling me from the outset to trust their judgement and don’t question them is telling me from the outset their judgement doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

If you don't like their rules, don't send your kids there. My headteacher was quite candid on that point, they were oversubscribed and folk were falling over themselves to get their kids in because the rules worked for those who stuck to them.

You migbt agree in theory with a rule that instructs students to always have their equipment, for example. But I'll give an example of what the last straw was for a friend. Her daughter was meant to go on a trip for part of the day with a few students for something or the other. The trip was cancelled as the teacher that was meant to take those few students fell ill. They found this out when they got to school that day.

Obviously, as they werent expecting to be in for part of the day, her daughter only brought the things she would need for the lessons she was due to attend that day. 2 teachers gave her a detention for a lack of equipment for their lesson, despite knowing the full circumstances of what went on.

If she allowed her daughter to be punished for this, she would be sending her a really bad message.

People do question their surgeons.

and some sue them.

open evenings are usually for selling the school. I’ve only heard that sort of thing once at a very oversubscribed school.

(dc did not go there)

Please explain why private school manage to be successful without bat shit rules regarding socks/shoes or supplies?

How is the school regarded locally @Redisforme ?

Apparently they're losing tons of good teachers due to parents now, so it's probably that. There was a meme of a kid in the nineties being told he was lazy and failing, and the parents apologised to the teacher and blamed the kid-and in the today version, they blamed the teacher.
It's a balance-obviously there's times you would want to question a surgeon or a headteacher, but people tend not to act so aggressively with the surgeon, or tell her how to do her job. Plus it's life and death, not that Susie wants to wear her Swiftie top.
Couldn't do the headteacher's job! If parents want to whine about uniform or little Jonny being told off for stopping vulnerable kids learning, or not getting the best part in the play, they can homeschool.

It’s got a decent reputation locally. Most of the schools where I live do and are oversubscribed. Nice problem! The particular school I’m referring to has had a good reputation for decades. Some parents at DC’s primary school went there. It was interesting hearing from them how the school had physically changed over time to accommodate growth. It’s had good grades for a long time.

It was slightly depressing that excessive strictness and unjust practices were common themes amongst pupils I asked the what do you like and dislike question to. There was a kind of sad resignation to it that I’m struggling to articulate properly. This has come up at all the schools I’ve seen, not just the specific one I’m referring to.

A highly regarded school… I am not surprised tbh

That’s awful. Like what was the point in those teachers doing that!

This is such a drain on everyone’s time, energy and goodwill.

@Redisforme The best schools simply are not like this. I’d really want to avoid such a school as my dc were very vocal about unfairness. One is now a barrister. A school that listens to dc is infinitely better but we went private. I’d run a mile from a strict school that knocks the spirit and fun out of school life. My DDs loved school.

Im currently looking at schools for my ds

I’m avoiding certain academy trusts.
Because of how strict they are and the pressure on children. My dd has recently left. She always had the right uniform never forgot anything never had a detention. But the things they can get into trouble for is awful. And the hours of work..

The child can get punished if home work isn't 100% right so they get punished for not knowing the answer. Then there's the black socks thing even if theres a tiny logo on black socks they get detention. The amount of work pushed onto them is to much theres barley any time for family. Yet they have work life balance written on emails 🙄.there are children going without dinner/lunch . Because by the time they are able to go to the toilet and then join the lunch que. Its time to go back to lessons . Dds school got 2 breaks 1 was 10 mins the others at lunch was 40 mins. Baring in mind theres just under 1000 students. They use words like compulsory when it isn't even in parents evenings/talks.
The pressure left dd in a nad place mentally.

People think as long ad the child behaves has the correct uniform and equipment they should be fine but that's not always the case.