How long did it take your child to make friends?

[Nettle80]

My daughter has just started year 10 at a new school. She was bullied at her old one & it really affected her. She hasn’t made a single friend at her new school. She tells me she sits in the toilet at break and lunch times. Everyday I tell her to try chat to people, which she does if people chat first but nothing comes of it. She used to be quite talkative but stopped (didn’t want to draw the bullies attention to her) she cries every night & everyday I tell her it will get better & she’ll make friends soon & I’m starting to think maybe she won’t. If you’ve had a child start a new school, how long did it take for them to make friends?

I never did. Changed schools multiple times, bullied at all of them. Was always the new girl even after five years. Affected me all my life.

It’s hard to just start chatting to people. Has she joined any clubs?

Can she sign up to some clubs? Better chance of meeting like minded people there. Starting small can rebuild her confidence.
it’s so sad when your DC struggles with friendships, you feel helpless

@Nettle80i just wanted to offer something supportive (& a bit more positive) to you and your daughter. Starting a new school is daunting and even more so after bullying.
It is possible she will make friends though. My DD is in the same year group as yours and a new starter has joined their 'lunch table' recently. They are quite a quiet and welcoming friend group and are open to new people. It can work out. A few things i would think about.
*Is the library or any similar spaces open at lunch or break? If they are i would encourage your daughter to go. Anything is better than hiding in the toilet. She might strike up a conversation with someone & at least she can get some homework done.
*Are there any lunchtime clubs she would consider?
*I'd contact the school explain the background . Ask if there are any spaces students can go to at lunch/break. I know at my DD's school there are spaces beyond the general ones that are open to students finding things a bit tricky.
It is hard, but i would really encourage her to try and go somewhere that isnt the toilets - at least then there is a chance she will getting chatting to someone.