Move from grammar school to local secondary for child with EBSA?

[MrsPetrillo]

My teen has EBSA. He is at grammar school, about to go into Y10. He can't enter the building. He had 48% attendance in Y9. He wants to move to local secondary school which is Ofsted inadequate. Newsworthily bad. I want him to be happy and thrive. He needs 5s to go to the college of his choice after GCSE. Parents of kids at the local school all say their kids are happy there. But the reports online are awful. He is essentially moving from one of the best performing schools in the country to one of the worst. But he is struggling so much in his current environment. Not sure what to do

@MrsPetrillo if he's only attending 48% at his grammar school he's very unlikely to achieve his GCSEs anyway. Does he want to go to the comp because he has friends there,?
If so and he wants to go you're in with a chance of him attending regularly. Which is the first step in getting his GCSEs.
Ime (with a few notable exceptions) grammar schools don't support additional needs, be they learning or emotional, very well.
A school that doesn't have great results but strong pastoral support might be a better option for the 2 years until he can go to college.

My Ds (who is autistic) went to grammar. Categorically one of the worst decisions we've ever made. He'd passed the 11+ without tutoring and I thought he would find his people, instead it was horrendous for him. I truly wished I'd moved him as there were issues from day one and the pastoral care was non existent.
If your Ds wants to move, I would seriously consider it.

Thanks @Seelybee , he does know a few kids there. You make a good point that he probably won't get GCSEs at a school he hates. He doesn't have friends at his current school either.

My DD has had EBSA. She attended less than 50% of school between year 8 and year 11. Where your DS is now certainly isn't working so it won't hurt to try another school if he is in agreement. However, I wouldn't be expecting the difficulties to just disappear unless the new school puts supportive measures in, especially building a relationship with a trusted adult.

Do you have any indications of possible neurodivergence? A large majority of those students who struggle with EBSA are autistic. I ended up applying for an EHCP for my DD. It was a lengthy pricess but eventually she got some online teaching as part of it. The break it gave her from in-person school was absolutely essential in helping her to recover. She just gained seven GCSEs at Grade 5 or above despite missing so much school.

Sometimes you can do a 2 week trial without having to give up his place at the grammar. It might be called a managed move? Or just informally if you talk to both schools. If he's genuinely happier at the comp then it's probably worth moving him.

Hi @punxsutawney, my ds loved it in Y7 but it's gone rapidly downhill from there. He doesn't seem to fit the mould at all. He says it is robotic, too hot, restrictive, monotonous, uncaring. I have had endless emails, phone calls, meetings, but I think my son has made his mind up really. He wants out

My ds is waiting for assessment for ADHD and autism

Move him if that's what he wants. School life is awful with no friends. Do you know why he has ebsa? Does he have Sen?

Firstly, my sympathies - we've had several years of EBSA and it is agonising. I really feel for you and I am sure this isn't the outcome you imagined at 11.

At face value, I agree with the PP who said that the reality is that he is very unlikely to attain well in his current environment, so it's definitely worth considering the move. The fact he is keen is also really important I think, and the fact he has friends there already.

Do you have any more data about the poor performance of the alternative school? Would you be able to supplement any academic gaps with tuition, especially in Maths and English? He's clearly bright, and so will undoubtedly do decently in any school if he is actually able to access it.

I know how hard it is to let go of what must have been a more ambitious academic pathway for him, but I think getting him back into an alternative school would be a great outcome.

That's great to know she did so well despite EBSA. I have found the last two years so debilitating. I am worn out. A local charity sent me forms for an EHCP so I am filling those in. Ds says 'there's nothing wrong with me mum. I just hate that place'

I will look into that, thanks. A trial would definitely help

Move him.

better in school than out. He’s unlikely to get good GCSEs where he is.

tutor if necessary for maths and English.

We are on waiting lists for assessment. He has friends outside of school, but having friends in school makes such a difference. I don't think I would have lasted long in secondary without my friends

Regarding the academic side, it is helpful to adjust your expectations. If he is bright enough to get into a grammar school then it should be possible for him to get what he needs for the next stage of his education even at a much less academic school. The GCSEs are a stepping stone. He doesn't need all 8s and 9s to go on to do A-levels if that's what he wants. I had to readjust my thinking - there were times I thought my DD wouldn't even be able to sit any exams.

Look into tutors as soon as possible as they can get booked up. Also there are various online platforms to help fill gaps. I signed my DD up for some online classes that are held in the evenings.

Thanks @harderthanIexpected EBSA is so hard to deal with. I think he needs a better all-round experience growing up. His form tutor said he is capable of 13 GCSEs at grade 8 or 9 but he can't face going in. He is miserable and I would rather he got lower grades than continue on a path he hates.