Y11 2025/26 The Final Stretch

[UncomfortableSilence]

New thread to see our wonderful DC through their exams and onwards.

Come and join for chat, support and solidarity.

@Tebheag we've got a massive white board monthly planner which I couldn't live without.

It hasn't even occurred to me to make breakfast for dd1 or drive her. I guess I could make her breakfast on the days I'm working from home, but we're in London so driving takes longer than public transport. I did just get a fruit box in so she can make some smoothies while revising. And have got a few extra snacks. Feel like I haven't really thought this out!

@Stowickthevast snacks are the thing for sure! Hang on here's a pic of my snack offering the year I had two DC taking exams: (this was just a couple of days’ worth)

Last day of school here today! She’s staying for sixth form so not truly leavers day but she’s been there since she was 5!!

Leavers assembly here - and class party yesterday.
He had a good day and came home with his shirt signed but no work seems to have been done whatsoever in any lesson. I do not feel this bodes well for revision in school next week/ going forward.
I have no tips on planners, sorry - we have a revision spreadsheet but nothing besides a list of exam dates on the wall.
Not as many snacks as I expected eaten here - I bought a whole
load but they have not been eaten. Bit worried he is not eating as stressed and then going to suffer due to low blood sugar but not sure what to do about it.
First written exam on Thursday…..

Last day here too. DS got back about half an hour ago and his fear of having no-one (or very few) people sign his shirt came to pass. Out of 64 students 9 signed. A few made him sign theirs then ran off (I assume in excitement rather than active snub). He's utterly beside himself with upset and also anger and hurt.

We can't say anything to him right now as he is throwing it all back at us so I have made him dinner and told him we'll talk about it tomorrow. Apparently none of the teachers signed his either thought they were signing others. i suspect he hung back waiting to be noticed.

Oh bless him, poor, poor lad. It's such a shame that so many kids can be so thoughtless. That's poor of the teachers too - you'd think they'd be watching out for him and making sure to include him.

Oh this really pulled on my heartstrings. I hope those 9 pupils wrote something lovely beyond just their name.

I know you can't fix it today, but is there a possibility of making the school aware so they can get his shirt passed round for signing during the exam period?

DS's school is doing shirt signings and ice cream on 5th June. I'll make sure to remind him and his mates to look out for anyone on the sidelines and make sure they're included.

I don't even know what I can do.

He's gone to bed.

I always say that having a SEN child- you repeatedly have the micro-griefs. They are slightly different. They are behind in their reading. They dont seem to make friends. They can't use their cutlery properly and an adult in the dining hall messages you to ask you to sort out their dexterity with cutlery. They don't quite 'get' the nuances of friendships. They are so terrified of the termly fire drills that even now in Year 11 the Head of Year has to alert them in advance and take them out of class so they don't fall on the floor with their hand over their ears in shock at the sound. They can't get their hair cut and the school tells you they are in breach of school uniform and you try and mousse their hair back to hide the fact that it physically freaks them out to cut their hair. Educational and medical professionals call you an over-protective mother because you are literally propping them up every single day. They roll their eyes about you to each other and you see it.

I have got my child this far. His last ed psych said we would never get him this far. I'm quite tired tonight. And more than a bit distressed. I do think more of his peers could have signed his damned shirt, I even washed and ironed a fresh short this morning so that it was ready.

Sorry- feeling a bit shit. Which I will never show to DS.

@3GoldenLamps I’m very sorry. That sounds shit of the teachers if not the probably just thoughtless due to excitement kids. I don’t know what to suggest I’m afraid though :(.

@3GoldenLamps I'm so gutted for him. Really poor of school / teachers too. I volunteer with kids and it’s really not that hard to avoid these things so it’s valid if you are angry. I’d be angry and upset.
my DD is ND with diagnosed ADHD and prob AuAdhd and it’s a battle to fit in fully every day. I’m hoping she chooses the college near us with best SEN support so she can find her tribe and not try follow a crowd

We start exams Thurs. no official study leave. School emails say it’s lots of revision lessons and boosters but looking at the DC social media it’s lots of ‘last subject lesson ever’ posts and reels and fun

Oh @3GoldenLamps I am sorry. I agree with PPs that it is particularly poor of the teachers not to spot him and say "oooh DS let me sign your shirt".

I hear you on the struggle with a child with SEN too. My DS based on his disability should never have gained any GCSEs but he got CCDDDEE and we were so so proud. It’s all a struggle. Well done to you and your DS on getting this far. Hope he shows what he can do at GCSE – that’s what we all hope for.

Thanks so much for the handholds everyone. i appreciate it so much. Sorry for my upset posting. Thanks to posters who say they will ask their kids to look out for the quieter ones- that would be a lovely thing.

Onwards today I hope. Well done to your DS @clary! You are right- if DS passes we will be so excited. Every day is a struggle for some children and just by getting through the achievements are immense- the resilience required to just get through the day is huge.

Is he staying at school for alevel or starting somewhere new?

Are any Surrey mums here?

We hope he will stay to A-level at the same school. There are not that many who are planning to do it there- it's a small independent, and there is an attrition rate due to a number of factors. They usually have about 30 A-levels students. It's fairly non-selective also so as long as he passes most of his subjects they will accept him.

@3GoldenLamps I'm so sorry your son had to go through that and you as well, as parents we feel it all just as much (sometimes more) than they do.

I'm more angry about the teachers now you've said it's a small independent school. They should have had an awareness and been able to quietly step in.

That’s great. Hopefully he feels comfortable enough with the teachers that he’ll know for alevel. What does he want to study? He sounds absolutely delightful.

I’ve told dd the weekend long lie ins are now a thing of the past! We’ve agreed 8.30 I’ll wake her and on study leave days she’ll be at least awake before I leave for work. I’m toying with sending her to my parents though so I know she’ll be fed and taken for walks!

It isn't usual for teachers to sign shirts. Perhaps the teachers didn't realise he wanted them to sign his shirt?

I very much doubt they were signing other pupils shirts and he asked to have his shirt signed and the teachers said no.

OP I hope your son feels better soon.

Oh heck @3GoldenLamps sounds like a right emotional rollercoaster. But remember 9 people DID sign his shirt and that's still cool.

My DS is a funny old bean. He reminds me of myself at his age. Quite quiet. Except he seems far less anxious than I ever was. I'm just worried that it's just not on the outside and going on inside.

Right now I've stopped nudging him "so what's on the plan for revision today?" I think it's getting a little on the late side. I might a couple more times but it feels like wellbeing is more important from here on in.

School have still not bothered to reply on whether they're going to have study leave. So glad when he'll leave that school. We had originally intended to send him to another but especially when covid hit, it seemed sensible to keep him with friends at the time. But generally it's been pretty crap. Went from "good" to "requires improvement" in his time there and communication particularly has been appalling. The only parents evenings we've ever had have been online. Short meetings of 5 minutes which are automatically cut off when the time elapses. One teacher in particular would almost never join citing being off ill or technical problems. I dread to think how parents who had serious concerns have coped.

He's applied to a 6th form college nearby which is state but pretty selective in a way (demands 7s minimum in A level subjects and quite high GCSE marks overall). It has been his choice but the one I would have chosen. In fact, stubborn as he is (can't think who he gets it from lol) when I suggested it, he was adamant he didn't want to go. So we looked at three options. I backed off entirely and he chose that one. I think it's going to be a shock to the system though, providing he gets in, being in classes with other bright kids and higher expectations.

So that's his motivation, he needs the grades for that college but I don't want to labour it.

Even though my GCSEs were over 30 years ago, it does feel like yesterday going through all this. I can't remember doing that much revision though, at least not till I got to A levels. And of course, four of my 11 GCSEs were 100% coursework so I'm not sure the exam period felt so intense. It was mostly science, languages and map reading lol... Like finding your way to a YHA using a physical map and coordinates is a useful skill nowadays. 😆

No, they didn't say no- they just didn't do it. I suspect knowing him, he sort of hung around on the edges and waited to be noticed. Which is how he rolls generally.

He's not sure what he wants to study really. He is veering towards the humanities options but is doing really well with STEM and maths.

Isn't it odd to think Covid and the lockdowns were when our kids were in primary school and now they've nearly finished secondary? Seems like 5 minutes ago.

Yes! I remember when the DCs were little someone commented to me once that the days are long but the years are short. That is so so true.

The whole lockdown era seems like surreal now.

I was mostly still working on site (I work in food) but negotiated one day from home a week. I loved those Fridays. I'd have loads of calls but we'd pause and do Joe Wick's workout together. Or rather I'd do it, my DS would do a tiny bit then flop on the sofa. 🤣

I do think there were learnings from it for him though. His school didn't really have lessons but set the work ahead of time. So he sat down, about 6:30am normally and did it all in about 2 hours. Then joined the "start of the day" teams call with his class and was done. There was a self motivation and efficiency to it I couldn't fault to be fair.