Secondary school choice blues

[Eagledaddy]

Anyone else feeling torn by secondary school choices?

We're looking at two schools - our local one has had a history of failures but has recently been taken over by a large trust. They'll get the school to 'Good' I've no doubt but feels very corporate and rigid - all the kids in its many schools wear the same uniform, same timetable, systems etc. Nearly all his friends going to that school.

The other choice is 45 minutes by bus, feels warmer, but has its issues as well. My 'heart' prefers that school and I'm personally more drawn to it myself, but the 'head' says that it's not a good enough school to separate DS from friends, giving him a long drive...and actually those systems that I personally hate will actually provide structure for DS .

I'm wondering what I'm bothered by - sacrificing my DS to the system?

Does anyone else feel the same way, have any wisdom to share, or should I live with it - is this 'torn-ness' just part of being a secondary school parent?

I think ‘sacrificing him to the system’ is a tad dramatic. You’ve said those systems that you personally don’t like will provide structure for him, so do what’s best for him. Not you.

Do you meet the criteria for both schools and any other schools? 45 minutes by bus sounds as though it may be a stretch. I agree that it’s a question of which school will suit him best, as well as which ones you have a realistic chance of getting a place in.

Does 45 minutes by bus mean a total journey of 45 mins, maybe 30 mins on the bus (OK) or is it a walk to the bus, 45 mins on the bus, then another walk? So maybe a journey of an hour or more?

An hour and a half is a long time to sit on a bus each day. I know people often post about school bus mates and getting HW done, but the bus can be also be a PITA. What if you miss it, or it runs late, or there's traffic. Stressful.

And yy will you get in to this school? How far away is it – I am estimating (based on bus times local to me) that it might be 10 miles? I went to a school six miles from my home and a lot of fellow students lived a similar distance the other way. This was not good for social life. I suspect now it would be more, not good for parents' petrol bills.

If you think the local school would suit him better, then surely go for that one.