Child constantly removed from class

[CornwallMamma]

My son is in year 9 at secondary school. Last year he was removed from lessons 50 times during the school year. Mostly he is over talkative, occasionally backchatting teachers. He’s disruptive but not to the point of violence or anything really bad. Mostly he just can’t concentrate in lessons.
the school have assessed ADHD and concluded that actually he is very bright and not ADHD.
Apart from the lesson removals, which are obviously a concern, the schools policy is that is a child is removed from class they then have to sit in ‘reset’ for the next lesson, effectively missing the next lesson too.
Has anyone come across a school that does this?
I’m arguing that it is an incentive, not a punishment, for kids who don’t want to be in school. And it isn’t proper learning!

Schools cannot assess for ADHD, or any other ND for that matter - they are not highly qualified, medically trained psychiatrists or similar. Go to your GP, health visitor, school SENCO, school nurse even, and start the assessment process. The process can take years, so in the meantime, see the school SENCO and work through how they’re going to support your son from here on in.

Of course your child doesn’t behave and is interrupting others education!!!!
poir kids that are lumbered with him in their class.

This, parent him correctly, bad behaviour needs repercussions.
You repeatedly say you don't want your home to become a battleground over this but you need to be firmer. He's seriously cocking up his future.

Thanks for this sound advise and insight. I'm aware of that.

Some of these comments sound like we’re in the 80s. It’s quite shocking.

How so?

the school have assessed ADHD and concluded that actually he is very bright and not ADHD.

Schools never cease to amaze me with the bullshit they come out with.

Children can be bright and have ADHD. Schools are not qualified to diagnose it.

@KilkennyCats

Some posters are jumping on the OP suggesting she is not parenting him correctly and that it’s simply a question of firmer boundaries, that there is no possibility of anything other than just bad behaviour at school.

None of us have met OP’s DS. How can anyone make such assumptions? She has tried and tried to explain her strategies and that she feels like she has tried everything- yet still the parenting gets blamed.

Who knows if he has ADHD? The school certainly can’t say whether he has or not , I can’t either.., however I think from everything that she has said about him it’s highly indicative of the fact that it’s a strong possibility. Yet instead a few strangers off the internet feel qualified to say that he hasn’t and that he’s just doing it because he wants to.

OP he sounds so similar to my DS who was recently diagnosed. I tore my hair out trying everything for years, and finally we had the relief of understanding why. he’s doing so much better now that he feels understood. Mainly by his school. As I said - I have no idea if your DS has ADHD but I’m glad you are going to look into the possibility.

Please come back and let us know the outcome if you get him assessed.

Regarding ADHD, the school ran a load of screeners for autism, ADHD etc on DC2 when they were 16 or 17. They were all normal. At 20, DC2 was diagnosed with autism and ADHD.

The tests that schools can do are only basic. It might be worth reconsidering about tbe possibility of ADHD.

Shortly after finished school, DC2 was also diagnosed with dyslexia and again the school hadn't noticed. DC2 is very bright and very good at hiding all issues.

Can’t he be bored without being disruptive? Could he try doodling, looking out of the window, escaping into his thoughts?

Without a particular passion for the subject, lessons are inherently ‘boring’ at school, and to some extent always have been. This is true for most kids, but most manage to make it to the end of the lesson without being kicked out.

He needs to manage his behaviour by Year 9. He’s not a small infant any longer.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

A child could be a very limited and slow learner, and not have ADHD.

A child could be prodigiously bright with a high IQ and not have ADHD.

A child could be a very limited and slow learner, and have ADHD.

A child could be prodigiously bright with a high IQ and have ADHD.

The last time I checked, there was no link between ADHD and intelligence. It could be that those who are both very bright and very ADHD do better at managing their ADHD - finding strategies to cope, for example.

Thank you. I have really questioned my parenting and looked at my own behaviour to see if I can do better with parenting. I’m not an ignorant parent. I don’t want my child to disrupt other students. Believe me, I’m not listening to unhelpful stabs. Many of the replies here have been insightful and I thank you for yours!
I’m going to look into a proper assessment and in the meantime continue to support my son to be aware and behave in class.

I would agree that a proper assessment is necessary. He may well have ADHD, from what you've posted, I would say that's likely, and he can make good progress after diagnosis. I've seen some amazing turnarounds!
It's normal to question your parenting, and reflect on it, but I do think other factors are at play.
Good luck 🤞

but I don't want our home to be a battle ground.

But it’s OK for everyone around him at school to be in a battleground?

Op. How is he doing academically ? Not sure changing school would be of much use if you haven't gotten the root of why he is behaving this way but having said that He is probably right in that his teachers are allergic to him and it is hard to go into classes each day where he knows he probably not wanted.

if he turns out to have adhd. A fresh more supportive start might not be a bad thing . He's not too far of his GCSEs though so I'd absolutely get the ball rolling asap .

I’ve asked the school how he is doing g academically and they said they have no concerns.
I will get on with an external assessment as soon as I can.

I know that some people graduate with ADHD. I think some proper help for him would be worthwhile.

Agreed (also teaching in secondary for 20+years)

It's hard to stretch an intelligent child if they are not willing to behave in the first place. How should I stretch and challenge your child when he's answering back, talking to other people and disrupting the lesson. It's a 2 way street.

I find it interesting that you think anything short of violence is acceptable and not problematic enough to be removed from lesson.

If you are really concerned it's the school policy that's the problem then move schools.

Honestly even kids who do have ADHD have to be supported to not disrupt a lesson. The diagnosis informs us how to support but doesn't excuse rude and disrespectful behaviour.

How on earth can we teach 30+ kids effectively if we are constantly interrupted? I'm the expert in the room why would they not have to listen to me?

Utter bollocks
I have lost count of the number of disruptive kids i have taught over the years who I have met in later years ( small town, not much movement) who spontaneously apologise for their shit behaviour as teenagers and who would agree that there were no issues, they were just playing billy big balls.

Also ‘utter bollocks’.
considering teachers make up a disproportionate number of mumsnet forum members its worth recognising that a lot of the ill educated comments on this thread are likely from the self proclaimed ‘experts in the room’ who have made it their life’s work to deny an education to a huge proportion of children who are unfairly excluded from education because their teachers have no intention of stretching their knowledge and skills just a little bit to make their lessons more inclusive and engaging and to understand the wide spectrum of neurodivergence and the range of coexisting conditions that fall under this umbrella .

we are well overdue for an overhaul of the education system and this needs to start with some humility from the teachers themselves.
the way these people talk about kids and parents and of neurological conditions as poor behaviour is reprehensible.

absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourselves for such blatant, smug and unashamed discrimination.

https://committees.parliament.uk/committee/203/education-committee/news/209313/solving-the-send-crisis-report-calls-for-culture-shift-and-funding-to-make-mainstream-education-genuinely-inclusive/

@2025mustbebetter
I am not questioning your expertise or years of experience as a teacher. However your one comment ‘Honestly even kids who do have ADHD have to be supported to not disrupt a lesson’ resonated with me.

As a teacher , what does ‘supported to not disrupt a lesson’ look like in practical terms in a classroom?

I’m sure that every teacher and every parent would agree with you. However kids with ADHD a) aren’t supported in school to any real degree for a variety of reasons and b) I think you are missing the point. These kids who genuinely have ADHD are not misbehaving by choice. Yes discipline is important but no amount of ‘support’ or discipline will be enough to stop the impulsiveness or the inability to concentrate/ focus (and therefore become disruptive) for kids who have ADHD. If it were just a matter of controlling it do you not think we and they would all be doing it?

I think once again a post such as this one and many more like it over the years just proves that we are still divided into 2 camps. They always go the same way. Those who are living with / parenting young people who have additional needs (diagnosed or otherwise) and who live with the challenges that brings, whilst tearing their hair out trying to do everything they can V those who don't understand.

Even those that acknowledge that ADHD exists (and it’s not ADHD exclusively) still think it’s largely down to a style of parenting/ still think it’s fixable and don’t understand quite how gruelling and soul destroying it is. Every day.

I should probably stop even commenting on these threads now as no one gets it unless they are in it. I just end up getting even more frustrated by the futility of it all.

Also the futility of living in 2025 with so much information and research and lived experience at our fingertips.
the fact that ignorance continues to prevail as spiteful bliss is unconscionable.
it’s absolutely tragic that these attitudes exist on a forum where people are generally quite bright and switched on yet have no insight, compassion, desire to learn, empathy etc etc .
the attitude is so medieval in some ways. Witch burning comes to mind

But the child in this scenario doesn’t have a diagnosis so I’m not sure that’s fair. While lots of children do have challenges of all sorts, there are also a decent percentage of children who are just poorly behaved - sometimes because of mental health challenges or being hungry or feeling unsafe or all sorts of reasons but sometimes also just because they are poorly behaved.

my brother has adhd and had a horrible time at school in the 80s and 90s. My mom stopped working to support him and was at the school all the time. It was exhausting and gruelling and hard on my childhood as well sometimes.

I am very grateful that my autistic daughter is going to school now in a world much more aware of how to help her and much more willing to learn. But it’s also true that her challenges with noise and chaos means that children who create noise and chaos are really, really difficult for her. She’s finding high school so hard. There’s no good answer to any of it really - you can’t create a perfect world for every single individual child. But it’s good to have the conversations.

the OP has been encouraged to find out if there is an underlying issue and I hope that she does. Some strategies of punishment etc just won’t work if it’s something in the family of adhd but if it is indeed behavioural for another reason it’s good to know that as well.

Just because school have done a screening for ADHD doesn’t mean dc
doesn’t have ADHD.

if your dc was removed from class 50x for being disruptive during a 39 week school year, either he is incredibly badly behaved (is he really that bad? Seems unlikely?) he is in the wrong school or there is something further that needs investigating i.e. ADHD or bullying or something like nobody has noticed he can’t read & he can’t follow what’s going on in class

I would investigate adhd assessment with your GP & also by reading about it, the effects & things that can be done to help him in the meantime as well.

waiting lists can be long - I don’t know if right to choose applies to adhd assessments but it’s worth exploring that too, if you decide to go down that route

there are loads of ways to find out more yourself & find ways of helping him. Sitting him in a classroom on his own is unlikely I think to help (I’m not an expert).

Schools are the biggest gaslighters ever when it comes to neurodiverse children ime so I suggest you need to get reading, listening and googling but as the parent of a neurodiverse child & with 2 close friends with similar - all 3 kids have really good support now and mothers who have never worked as hard for anything as the support they dc’s (now) get in their respective schools

your dc’s school will have a SENCO - they may or may not be good but I’d do some reading around & inform myself and start with a conversation with them but do you have any friends/friends of friends who have a child with adhd? I’d also reach out to my network for help

I would never have believed some of the nonsense that comes out of some people’s mouths in schools from people who are otherwise respected, experienced professionals but that’s where we are so it’s up to us to advocate for our dcs. Good luck x