Leaving private school for state 6th form - experiences?

[WomensRightsRenegade]

I did ask this once before but it was quite a while ago now so I was just wondering if this was something more people were doing/ thinking about doing?

Thanks to the VAT increase my son had his bursary halved (from 100pc) and it looks like it’s about to be reduced further or removed. I guess they have no need to rush confirmation seeing as they will know parents will do almost anything to avoid moving schools for year 11. It’s all been quite nasty really. Seeing behind the gloss and the taglines about how they care for the boys like family has been illuminating.

Anyhow DS is utterly heartbroken at having to leave when he is so happy. He is very talented musically and was so looking forward to continuing in the ensembles and taking Music A level there. It’s going to be an agonising last year as he can’t even let anyone know he’s leaving until April. No local sixth forms to us even offer Music A level and the nearest college is a lottery system.

Are other people facing having to remove kids against the child’s will? I am so worried he will always think we could have found a way, even though he’s said nothing to us except that he understands the situation totally. Academically I’m sure he’ll be fine if he works hard, but socially and musically it feels like it could be a very abrupt end. If I could go back in time I would never EVER have accepted the bursary. This was always the risk.

Just “going to state school” doesn’t result in a contextual offer - how could it, when the vast majority of pupils go to state school? It’s the kind of school (eg FSM percentage, how often they send kids to uni, deprivation of postcode etc) that may result in a contextual offer.

Not for law apparently.

It also has a specialist music department. Worth looking into. Brand new music buildings with fully Steinway pianos, apparently.

Oh sorry I quoted the wrong post! I meant Peter Symonds school in Winchester!

Where do you live? Could he apply for the junior department at one of the conservatoires? They are on a Saturday and some pupils travel significant distances. There would be ensembles to play in as well as instrumental lessons

It’s actually nothing to do with state sixth form so cool your jets. My other children went to state sixth form and did extremely well. It’s about being forced to leave somewhere you are very happy, especially when it’s a shock.

DS was offered a full bursary and after intense bullying at primary and worsening Tourette’s Syndrome/ tics we decided to take the offer up.

Thank you. A loan for £30k per year is ever so slightly beyond our means lol.

Thank you for this - we have considered it, but to be honest I don’t think I am up to being potentially shafted by a school again. There would be a bursary reassessment in year 12 again and I would be on tenterhooks the whole year beforehand.

As I said the local college does do Music but there is a lottery admissions process for any kids not at linked schools or with sibling links so it can’t be guaranteed

Where exactly is he musically OP? At what age did he do grade 8? Has he done junior college?

Thank you. I’m not sure I could deal with a private school again after seeing how callous they can be! The bollocks about caring for the child’s wellbeing has been exposed as just that! Means testing is done every year at this school - fair enough. But no explanation was ever given for halving the bursary when the only change was a 2pc pay rise

It's the one I was thinking of too

Thank you for this reply - nothing has changed except a 2pc pay rise last year! But when I protested it (very very politely!) and asked what the decision was based on I was stonewalled and any requests to speak to the bursar directly were ignored.

It’s slightly nauseating to talk about DS’s music as if I’m boasting - it’s really not like that, and obviously there is always someone better out there! It’s just that he has given everything to the music department, endless weekends supporting outreach, helping tutor younger ensembles etc etc. And hours after school all day to rehearse with ensembles. And then just constructively dismissed? It’s so callous.

You’re right re costs being cut in every school and every department though. Music teachers can always fill in when needed to cover gaps in ensembles. The main reason for all of this is undoubtedly the VAT.

I think you can be straight up that if there’s any likelihood of being refused the bursary in yr 12, given what DS has been through, you’d have to decline. It would be very tough on any kid to be declined midway through A level. I’m sure they would understand that.

I hear your anger and you're entitled to it, but they must have been very good for you to have believed they cared so much for all these years, given that the bottom line is that they are businesses and of course there's a hard edge to it, but that doesn't make the whole thing bollocks. That's like rewriting a whole marriage because of the break up. From here, it sounds like they stepped in when your DS really needed it and have helped to turn him from that boy you describe being bullied at primary into this incredible high-flying academic and artistic young man, with what sounds like £150k of bursaries. Whatever way you slice it, that is not a bad deal, and however rough it feels right now, I'm sure he'll find a place easily for those three STEM subjects and do any number of the great music options outside of Sixth Form that PPs have suggested. Or he may yet get a lottery place for the college and be able to do it all there.

We had to go through 4 different Sixth Form options when three turned out to be fibbing about their ability to run a subject. It's bumpy and would've been much nicer for him to stay with his mates in his old school, but it's made him more independent and capable and I know he'll be better at coping with the shift to uni as a result. Sure yours will be the same when you're past this initial hurdle.

Thank you for this - both kind and helpful. I really appreciate it. You’re right that sixth form flies by. And local friends could be a blessing. But turning up knowing no-one at a sixth form where most have come up from the school is going to be tough for a shy kid, especially once he’s known as a private school kid! The ex private school kids in my daughter’s sixth form did come in for a lot of teasing; but they tended to be the super confident kids who’d chosen to leave the private school bubble

Hopefully he’ll be just fine and be able to find music opportunities out of school.

Thanks for the recommendations - will look into those. There really is nowhere near here that has a good music department - or even offers music A level - except the local college and there’s a super selective grammar which again can’t be guaranteed

The London music colleges, Birmingham conservatoire, RNCM etc do Saturdays for under 18s. This is what I would do in your shoes. My two both went to state for 6th form after doing years 7 to 11 in private. They went to different places for 6th form and I’ve been impressed with both. State schools are a hell of a lot better than when I was at school

House move not an option, sadly, as lots of adaptations for our other, severely disabled, son. It’s great to hear your son has found a thriving musical scene at uni. That’s something else to hold onto! And not that long now in the scheme of things..

The initial switch is scary, but especially in those STEM classes (my DS is same), the kids tend to be shyer and bright anyway and not loud bullying sorts. He'll find his people, and so much of those A-levels is head down studying that when you factor in your DS's music activities too, there's precious little time for social dramas. This is the worst bit worrying about it but he sounds great and will keep on exceeding expectations.

Do try for the super-selective grammar that you just mentioned though. None of these things are guaranteed but he sounds like he'd be in with a decent chance. That plus the lottery college are two shots, then a local sixth form for the STEM plus music options out of school... it's not shaping up too badly.

If you are prepared to post the instrument(s) and roughly where you are in the country I’m sure people can suggest ensembles.

i’m sorry he is having to leave. It does sound very difficult.

as the college is lottery you might as well apply and then if he gets it it’s a bonus.

Yes you’re right that it might make DS more resilient and be a better stepping stone for uni life.

I’m very grateful for the bursary they offered, but to pull it later on for no clear reason is incredibly cruel. There is no option for appeal, or even discussion. The door slams shut. This is real kids’ lives they’re dealing with, and even some sort of commiseration eg ‘we have valued X’s contribution, but unfortunately…’ or some similar humanising touch, would really have helped. As it is we’re being made to feel like we’ve done something wrong

Thank you so much. People being kind is what I needed today. I know it can seem like a first world problem (!) but in the context of DS and what he’s already had to cope with in his life it’s really hard. And still such a shock. That will pass, I know x

I’d contact the super selective asap. That would be ideal.