Panicking about strict school uniform policies

[AllGonePeteTong1]

In our area we a choice of two secondary schools. They both have very strict unform policies. My DD has a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism and significant sensory sensitivities. She has been unable to wear her primary school's full uniform all year (wearing a t-shirt instead of shirt; trainers instead of shoes) and the school have been very supportive of this. Their view is that her attendance and emotional wellbeing are the priority (she was having panic attacks when getting dressed before they relaxed their requirements).

She's now in year 5 and we have to apply for secondary schools soon. I've reached out to the Senco's of each school - one has ignored me and the other has confirmed that there are NO adjustments made - everyone has to wear the full uniform and that if my DD can't cope with it, we should apply elsewhere. Except, the other school is also very strict by all accounts. ARGH!

I really don't know what to do. We've looked into private options but they are either unaffordable, too far away or have similarly draconian approaches to uniform.

Home schooling not an option - we both work full time in very demanding jobs.

I requested an occupational therapy referral from her GP to help with her sensitivities. But just ended up with a charity via CAMHS offering 6 sessions with a counsellor. Not sure whether to try the private route?

Not sure why I'm posting really. But would be really interested to hear from people who have been in this situation.

My son has a physical condition so the reasons are different but the secondary he will be starting soon has been very helpful with some adjustments to the uniform requirements. It's a mainstream grammar school with something of a reputation for strictness. They said if a teacher isn't aware of his needs and he gets any behaviour points for those aspects of uniform (might not have been called behaviour points, I can't remember the details, but some sort of negative mark on his record) then student support can take the marks off his record. Years ago before he started primary school an occupational therapist wrote a letter for me explaining the difficulties relating to school uniform - I've never actually needed to show it but it's helpful to have it. Maybe it's easier for the school to understand when it's a clearly visible physical condition (shouldn't be like that though).
Those schools sound really unhelpful but maybe they are better at supporting students who are actually enrolled there? Do you know anyone with children there?

My daughter wears whatever she feels comfortable in. The school are told that’s what’s happening because of her sensory issues. There has never been a problem. I would bypass the SENCo and go to the head teacher. I would use words like inclusion and equality, and if you have a local authority inclusion and equity officer, get them involved too.

You might be able to find trainers that look like shoes. The shirt situation is something you might be able to work with. Could you start by putting a shirt on over a top and leave it undone, and slowly work from their. It's not going to be easy and the school might change their minds but be prepared for them sticking to their rules

I had this fight with a mainstream secondary school as my daughter needed to wear a hoodie as it was the only way she felt safe. She has asd, adhd and mental health issues. After a lot of battles it was accepted as a ‘reasonable adjustment’.

I guess I need to prepare myself for a fight...In answer to your question @Danascully2 I know lots of parents with kids there. There really doesn't seem to be any flex. @Ohdearwhatnow4 That's a good idea about the shirt - maybe we could practice over the summer holidays

Glad you won that fight @lavenderanddaisies. It really shouldn't be so hard.

Does she have a EHCP? If not start the process to get one.
whatever get this issue recorded. Then it is disability discrimination not to make accommodations. Although also find a local community of SEN parents, they may be able to suggest local supplies if uniform that are more acceptable to your child.

No EHCP. We were advised that because she is coping in her current school setting, she won't qualify and that we can't apply for one on the basis that she is unlikely to cope in the next setting.

Start with a normal shirt but when you start to do it up make sure it's big but probably not flappy on arms if you know what I mean. If you need to start by tying it around her waste so sh can get use to the material.

I don't know whether it would help with your daughter's situation as the reasons are different but I discovered several supermarkets do a range of specialist school uniform. M and s call it 'adaptive' I think and asda call it 'easy on'. Might just give you a few more options?

Thanks @Danascully2 but unfortunately, other than the shirt, every item of school uniform has to be from the school uniform shop with the school logo on it - so no flexibility there either.

Get an EHCP application under way and try and apply for DLA. The money could be used if you need to tailor the uniform to make it bearable. (Dashing along so can't type any more!)

The branded/logo'd items for everything but shirts sounds like its against the DFE uniform guidance which is statutory
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/cost-of-school-uniforms/cost-of-school-uniforms

They also need to consider protected characteristics when developing their policies which they don't seem to have done

Tricky to challenge if your child is not a pupil at the school but you can make a complaint via the schools governing body/trust

DD is allowed to wear the school's sports kit every day.
Often at secondary, there are kids somewhere in the school wearing the kit so it's not like she's the only one
I think it's a perfectly reasonable accomodation

Ambitious About Autism did an advert last year in conjunction with Vanish.
It featured 'Ash' who needs her hoodie for comfort & protective shielding purposes. DD has worn hers throughout the heatwave. Schools who don't understand the nuances of sensory issues and social anxiety would be wise to watch it

The problem is that they only adjust for physical limitations because any child can say they don’t like the feel of uniform. If she prefers t shirts she can wear one under her school shirt. If she wears trainers she can wear lace up shoes that are uniform compliant. Get her used to it by putting t shirts under shirts on a weekend that she desires (favourite colour or whatever). You can build tolerance gradually, but patience is needed

If you’ve not done OT before and you can afford private, then I strongly recommend it. We did sensory integration OT and it really helped my Autistic child learn how to regulate using their sensory preferences. But in this case if you just ask for an assessment they’ll do a report you can share with the school which will help with the argument.

The SENCOs are often overwhelmed at this time of year with the year 6s starting in Sept so if you emailed it might just have slipped the net. Some schools have a specific admin person in the office who does SEN stuff and they might be useful to track down and ring. In general, I’ve found calling schools gets such better responses than emails!

Agree about pushing for an EHCP now as sounds like it will be useful at secondary. You can kick it off as a parent and lots of advice on how to do this on the SEN boards. Good luck!

Your daughter’s diagnoses are protected under the EA2010 so they must make reasonable adjustments. They cannot discriminate.

Your daughter’s diagnoses are protected under the EA2010 so they must make reasonable adjustments. They cannot discriminate.

Your daughter’s diagnoses are protected under the EA2010 so they must make reasonable adjustments. They cannot discriminate.

The school has to make adjustments by law, however, many schools try to create a hostile environment to stop kids with SEN joining. Once you have a place you may find them more flexible. Whatever happens try to reassure your DD and dont let her know this is an issue. She is more likely to adapt and accept the uniform if she feels supported rather than forced.

Well done, we won the hoodie battle too, in year 13!! Same school since year 7.

Uniform is proved to be a huge behaviour reduction (and Ofsted are becoming more strict with their uniform requirements). So schools will want to adhere to gain the better behaviour and Ofsted grades. So I’d work with the school, ask for an appt with the SEN Lead as emails are no good. Find their red lines and where they can budge. Say, hoodies / coats on / trainers can often be allowed on special circumstances. However other items not so much. Take a smart ironed tshirt example with you, explain you will ensure it is ironed etc.

M&S do a fabulous sensory range that may help bridge the gap in some areas.

Your DD Primary will send over details so make sure the Yr6 teacher is fully up to speed as they write these. Secondaries can seem dubious as many nervous parents ask for all sorts when not always needed, this can dilute from the fully required cases like your DD.

Go to your nearest 3-4 secondary schools as a slightly further one may have a better SEN team, don’t just bank on the nearest two.

Might this new law help? Our primary has removed all logo'd items in preparation and switched to uniform based purely on colour (eg. Blue jumper / cardigan / sweatshirt / grey trousers / skirt / pinafore etc).

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp08ln84no

ChatGPT just gave me this:

I am writing to inform you that my daughter has a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). As part of her support needs, she will require reasonable adjustments, including the wearing of an adaptive uniform to accommodate sensory sensitivities and related challenges. Under the Equality Act 2010, schools have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments to ensure that pupils with disabilities are not placed at a substantial disadvantage. This includes flexibility around uniform policies where necessary. We would appreciate your support in implementing these adjustments, in line with both the Equality Act and the SEND Code of Practice (2015), to ensure her comfort and inclusion at school.

You might be able to meet them half way. My DS' have sensory issues but managed school uniform better than I expected. Shirts had to be short sleeved, well washed and not tucked in - I actually cut DS2's shirts shorter so they didn't show under the blazer. I also replaced the top button of the shirt with a popper so he didn't have the "strangling" feeling doing the button up. Ties are all clip on these days.
Depending on her shoe size you may be able to find her some soft leather shoes that feel more like trainers. e.g. the Clarks Nalle styles. Especially if she struggles with tying laces.

The key point though is to find the right school with the right SEN support even if you have to look a bit further afield. Ask to see their SEN hub/student support area and how they support anxious students. Our secondary actually had a sensory room. You might ask to see the isolation room too where pupils with uniform infringements will get sent to, can be an eye opener.