Panicking about strict school uniform policies

[AllGonePeteTong1]

In our area we a choice of two secondary schools. They both have very strict unform policies. My DD has a diagnosis of ADHD and Autism and significant sensory sensitivities. She has been unable to wear her primary school's full uniform all year (wearing a t-shirt instead of shirt; trainers instead of shoes) and the school have been very supportive of this. Their view is that her attendance and emotional wellbeing are the priority (she was having panic attacks when getting dressed before they relaxed their requirements).

She's now in year 5 and we have to apply for secondary schools soon. I've reached out to the Senco's of each school - one has ignored me and the other has confirmed that there are NO adjustments made - everyone has to wear the full uniform and that if my DD can't cope with it, we should apply elsewhere. Except, the other school is also very strict by all accounts. ARGH!

I really don't know what to do. We've looked into private options but they are either unaffordable, too far away or have similarly draconian approaches to uniform.

Home schooling not an option - we both work full time in very demanding jobs.

I requested an occupational therapy referral from her GP to help with her sensitivities. But just ended up with a charity via CAMHS offering 6 sessions with a counsellor. Not sure whether to try the private route?

Not sure why I'm posting really. But would be really interested to hear from people who have been in this situation.

My daughter goes to a school notorious for strictness over uniform. They went to court rather than grant a haircut exemption for cultural reasons for instance. My AuDHD daughter who did not have an EHCP at the time was granted an exemption because the simple fact is that it is the law. They had consulted a solicitor, clearly trying to get out of it but they couldn’t. Under the equality act, they have to make reasonable adjustments and failure to do so constitutes disability discrimination. What I would advise to help is getting an OT assessment. But please know that they cannot refuse and will back down if you take it higher. The SEND department of your local authority and SENDIASS can be copied in to any emails where you have issues. Quote the law. There is guidance on this on the National Autistic Society website. Schools may well say no assuming parents will back down or don’t know the rules. Sometimes the schools don’t know the rules . Please don’t anyone force a ND child into clothing they are uncomfortable in- it will
hinder their attainment as well as mental health and contribute to burnout and failure at school.

Attending open days is a good idea and I would also suggest booking a private show round for you and DD ideally beforehand. Far less overwhelming

Thank you for all your insights. It's really appreciated.

@Thelosthalfathought that is good to hear about your DD - I guess I'm hoping the same might happen to mine - though it seems highly unlikely at the moment given her extreme reactions to certain clothes. She is definitely going through a lot of hormonal changes at the moment though, so I do wonder if that why things have been so hard for her with her sensory sensitivities this year.

@Lieinrequired that's a good point about 100% cotton. I might buy one over the summer and see how she fairs with it.

Thank you to all the posters who are advising about an EHCP. I'll read the threads you shared @Needlenardlenoo. I have drafted the application form - was just hesitating to send it in as it seems like it's going to be such a fight...

Total sympathy here - DS has greater sensory needs/ADHD and is in specialist school thankfully. DD has some preferences but is going to a fairly flexible secondary.
Look around at different schools. Tell them you'll work on school uniform. Start with polos - DS was in the t-shirt only phase for a while and I've got him used to polos by starting with trying on, then a minute or even 30 seconds, then "wear it while you watch this short TV programme" and now he'll wear them all day. Then move up to shirts.
Trousers you can usually get girls' in ponte which is more stretchy (DS will wear light Chino fabric after following the same process).
Get a private OT to do an assessment (good to start in Y5) and make suggestions.
We have looked at about 6 different schools with DS and DD - DS is now in specialist but DD is going to secondary out of area (£900 bus fare eek!) and they are so welcoming and accessible with multiple contacts from the SENCO so far.

DD has these leather trainers that can be polished. We just keep buying the next size!

www.nike.com/gb/t/court-borough-low-recraft-older-shoes-AirlQGBM

I think you need to cast the net wide for schools too. There are likely to be more than two options.

Sadly, it's not uncommon for schools to try to put parents of SEN students off from applying by saying this kind of thing about uniform. Putting it bluntly some schools don't want the 'hassle' of students who may end up costing them money in additional support or who they think may need various reasonable adjustments. There's already good advice on here about how you can try and address that issue.

In terms of an EHCP, the legal test for if a local authority MUST carry out a needs assessment is really quite low:

• whether the child or young person has or may have special educational needs (SEN); and
• whether they may need special educational provision to be made through an EHC plan.

Ipsea has some good information about the whole process. There's even a simple form you can use to request one - this is what I did when my DS's school Senco said he would never get one (he did).

Also, you can use your concerns around phase transfer transition in your reasons for an assessment (ie moving into Secondary school) - this can be taken into consideration from Yr5. In fact Yr5 is one of the most common times for EHCP requests. I would start making a diary now of all the difficulties your DD has in and out of school. Parental evidence can feed into the process.

As part of the EHCP needs assessment, your DD will be seen by an OT and a good EHCP will cover how her sensory issues must be addressed/supported.

I would also warn you that if you have to appeal refusal to assess and refusal to issue, you could be looking at a 2-year process so it's vital you apply now.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

Sensory issues are a bit more than not liking the feel for something