Year 11 - 2024/2025: And relax! Support Thread for the summer holidays.

[QueenMabby]

New thread to carry us all through the summer as we transition from dealing with stressed teens to dealing with bored teens!

@achangeofnameisasgoodasarest It really was according to the pupils getting their results last year. I can see the sentiment behind it, celebrating the high achievers, but the optics were so bad. I'm really glad my DD has left the school now!

Omg.
I honestly don't know what to say

Although I'm the sen parent who got the school to stop 100% attendance awards because they are discriminatory 😃

Ugh. DD's in that exact position, should be all 9s and 8s but she thinks 2 out of the 10 subjects might drop to 7s and I agree based on what she said coming out of the exam.

I can tell she's anxious about results day because of the expected drop. I'm glad her school won't have a photo booth to exclude her from to add to her woes!

For mine too @Whoooo. After each exam she wrote down the mark she thought she would get. She looked at them yesterday and was horrified by how high she’d put them. She would set them much lower now and I think that’s the nerves talking! She’s usually pretty accurate.

but @Whoooothe photobooth sounds awful! What a horrible thing to do. We have a photographer but anyone can stand as a family group and have their photo taken. No props or anything.

So will all Heads of Departments be there on results day on case of queries (state school).

@CapybaraCafeOrNot having just done A-Level results for state I would say no - but maybe your school will be better. They were, however, mostly available on email. DD1 was able to get results over to one who had been through her papers in detail within three hours and advised a remark (with papers ordered by priority based on which he thought had been unfairly marked). Not all teachers even do this.

If you have a good exams officer they will be the ones who can help with this.

Teachers and HoDs aren't paid to be there on results day and I think even independent schools don't have them all.

@QueenMabby DD2 has seen her sister get a nasty shock, and has had a knockback on something else too and she's now really, really wobbly. I think the nearer it gets the worse it is. But I'm sure your DD has been accurate in her predictions, she sounds very on it.

I've had a few dear friends say, "Let me know how DD gets on on results day".

They have older DC but I don't recall them sharing their results at the time, and I don't wish to share DD's either, no matter how impressive they may be.

So what do I say???

You just say nothing - I don’t know anyone that’s shared either - it’s not our info to share really x

If they ask directly say she did really well and got what she needed to get on her course.

@CapybaraCafeOrNot if they contact you just give a general response ‘oh they did well, glad exams are over and moving onto xxx, celebratory lunch now!’ For older people you still have to translate it to A, B,C anyway as the numbers mean nothing to them.

I know a mum who will want to know everyone’s exact grades, she was like that with 11+ scores and was annoyed at people who didn’t share. They are our DCs grades not ours!!

My DC seems ok, should do well in most & we both know which is likely to be the dud grade 😆 but on reflection I think they just didn’t do enough revision /past papers etc to get the top top marks, but that’s fine, as long as they get what they need, just bloody glad GCSEs are over (though 2more DC to go!)

I can see how the Photo Booth was well intentioned and absolutely the DC who have worked hard to get 8s & 9s should have their successes celebrated. I agree that schools emphasis is always focused on high achievers though. Our school will put out a statement with special mention of one or two children’s extraordinary results but in a huge school most children won’t get a mention. However, I hope the DCs teachers will congratulate them when they get back to 6th form & they will have their family and friends cheering squad (or to commiserate with!)

@CapybaraCafeOrNot I'm sure your friends are just trying to show they are thinking of you and interested. You could say something along the lines of "she's got what she needs for her next steps" or "she has done well and we are very proud of her". I remember with DS coming up with a suitable phrase I was happy to share with those I didn't want to give details to. Sounds like your DD is heading for great grades.

My DD is getting nervous now, she met up with her two best friends for birthday celebrations yesterday and said all of them are feeling nervous. She has to go in person to get her results between 10 and 12. DS didn't want to go at 10 when loads of people would be there so didn't leave the house until about 10.40 (and then ended up staying to chat to a few of his teachers) - fortunately school is a short walk away but I was getting very twitchy!

@Michele09 exactly this. People shouldn't ask for point blank marks, no matter how curious they are. My son would probably not even tell me if he thought he could get away with it. 😂

@CapybaraCafeOrNot
"Thank you for asking. She got what she needs for her next steps. We are very proud."

I have made it explicitly clear to both sets of grandparents that they are NOT to message DD on the morning to wish her luck and that we'll let them know what she got when she's ready to share. I know they mean well, but the pressure doesn't help!

As for friends, I'd just tell them that she did well and got what she needed for A-levels. If they push beyond that or read something negative into you not sharing specific grades, they're not dear friends.

Playing catch up as away with DS as he is seeing a friend ( and typing my left hand… long painful story🙄!) but, ummmmm, what the actual???!! I’m with @Whoooofor what she just said re successfully protesting against the bloody “whoo hoo ( no pun!) Attendance”!… I get it’s, of course, a huge achievement to get all 8’s and 9’s… but, for my DS and many, many other ND DC , the 4 x 4 he needs will equally be a massive achievement.

You know what this reminds me of. First week at Sixth Form College, sat in a group of “new friends”, who were chatting about another student whose parents had just “ bought a house on the WRONG side of Liverpool Road!! Can you imagine”!!…. everyone was expressing relief that their parents hadn’t been so foolhardy (!).. I was keeping my head down until Ali ( I was already getting 🚩 from her 😹😈) shrieked, “ Thank God @Sisublondiethat you live in the rough part of town, so don’t have to get involved in all this nonsense”! 🤷‍♀️…. 😹😹😹. Actually, I know what I mean when I use the analogy…. Doesn’t translate thst well on paper! Just that I can’t think of an appropriate equivalent celebratory prop for the “4s”, so maybe it’s more inclusive to not have anything for anyone… what do I know?! I just want Thursday to be over!! 🤞🙏😻

@Whoooo I would be that parent too! Schools need to realise that if a SEN pupil who struggles to make it through the gates most days gets a string of 4s, that's as impressive an achievement as one getting all 9s.

@Sisublondie Some kind of balloon arch with the words "well done Y11" on it that everyone can have their picture taken beneath would suffice!

Off topic, but I've just been made redundant. I have told DS2 and tried to reassure him we'll be OK. Unless I find a new job sharpish, we will NOT be OK (lone parent, divorce wiped savings, little financial buffer).

So sorry to hear that @rosemarble, that must've been a shock. Fingers crossed it won't take you long to find another position.

Sending much strength @rosemarble, that's the stuff that really matters, not some numbers on a sheet of paper.

Sorry to hear that @rosemarble Hopefully your next opportunity is just around the corner.

I've always been of the opinion that for some kids attaining 4s are a bloody triumph! And should be celebrated as such.
But, conversely, its totally understandable for a high prior attainer who has been working at grade 7,8,9 since Y9 to be disappointed if they don't get the high grades.

Many moons ago, at results day, I was celebrating with Bob. We had grins the size of the world. The local paper had sent reporters and photographers.
When the reporter asked Bob what he'd got, he delightedly told him "an E". The photographer walked away.
That was a bloody huge result for Bob.
I was furious.