Ds5 is 11, about to leave primary school. He has autism and emotional development delay (last time he was tested he was 8 years behind his actual age emotionally). He has been on lots of visits to the secondary school with me and yesterday he went to visit with his primary school TA and other pupils.
Ds is a sensory seeker and loves hugs. We have worked on appropriate hugging with him and if he is not closely supervised he will hug anyone so we always give him one to one attention when out and remind him not to hug people he doesn't know, always ask if people want a hug etc. It's exhausting sometimes and I get jealous of parents who can sit and enjoy a coffee in peace while their 3/4 year old's play when I have to constantly watch my 11 year old but I think we are making progress.
When we visited the secondary school for open evening ds hugged all the teachers. Being used to grumpy hormonal teenagers they all said how lovely it was and one teacher told him he never gets hugs from students so now ds thinks he needs more hugs.
I let him but then as long as he asks first and reminded him that they are safe adults, mummy knows them and if they want to be hugged that's fine. He hugs the staff in primary school too, but not the children, he is a bit wary of the other children in his class. A few staff members at primary school have said they will miss him and his huge when he leaves.
He came home from school yesterday a bit miffed because he had been hugging the teachers and his class TA from primary school had told him off. He said to me he hadn't hugged anyone without asking first and he hadn't hugged anyone who wasn't staff, he was very proud of himself for remembering that.
I'm not sure how to deal with this. Should I be telling him not to hug anyone at secondary school? At the moment I think he is doing really well to recognise that he should only but certain people.