@Sisublondie Yes, America was definitely a surprise. Dd does want to travel, but current plans are to travel around Ireland with her best friend after their A Levels, so much closer to home, plus the use of a family holiday house for part of the trip. To be honest though, she dreams of being a writer and does have an amazing imagination.
Ds1 went to uni late, after doing a disastrous Supported Internship during the pandemic followed by a, very short-lived, tech job where he was basically bullied out by the ‘football lads’ as he called them, during his trial period. I was heartbroken for him, but relieved it gave him the push to apply for uni. He was too anxious to apply for the longest time. Convinced he would stand out even more as a ‘mature student’ and not sure he could cope with the environment or even do the work. As it turned out there are plenty of students in his year that are older than him and he has aced the work so far. He did a foundation year to get back into study and that was a great way to acclimatise to uni life without the pressure and he went to a local uni, so he could live at home. Apparently lots of them, ND and NT, are also living at home, as the accommodation costs are astronomical these days. The advantage there is that they are relatively local for maintaining friendships in the holidays.
His main interest is gaming too, but he’s also into anime. He is in societies for computer gaming, table-top gaming and anime and his friendships have developed, as quite a few of them are in all three. The socieities all have online chats for those that aren’t comfortable enough to attend meets and are generally very inclusive. The anime societies arranges online screenings, so they can all watch together in the comfort of their own homes, as well as cinema nights on campus. Those that want to are all off to a ComiCon next week as their last event of this academic year!
I was worried sick about him going, but also felt it would be the making of him and I’m so relieved that was how it turned out. We are so proud of him, he is a completely different person than he was a few years back, when he literally could not function through his OCD and anxiety. He has matured so much and really developed his independence too. Obviously he still needs a lot of support, but DSA and Disabled Student Services at his Uni have helped so much. I used to work myself up worrying if he would ever be independent and how he would cope if/when anything happened to dh and I, but he is proving all the naysayers wrong week after week.
Dd has the same health issues as me (I wasn’t diagnosed until I already had three dc and back then they didn’t think there was a genetic link anyway) so at least I understand and have been able to access the right support etc. The background of my experience of the education related fight for ds1 also came in handy. Cue another tribunal to get them ti assess and having to threaten judicial review, again, to get them to finalise. 😡 For a while back there, with ds1 in mh crisis, dd in and out of hospital and having constant appointments and dd2 (the one doing her GCSE’s now, I typed the wrong numbers in my brain addled state the other day) being bullied, it felt relentless and I wasn’t sure we would ever get through it all in one piece, but just putting one foot in front of the other, lots of unconditional love and plenty of bloody mindedness won out in the end.