Year 11 - 2024/2025: It’s all downhill from here!

[QueenMabby]

New thread to help us get through the next week or so!

Morning all

Yes a weekend with the books
Anyone fancy a RattyRevision teenager swap, Spanish for any other subject?

It’s miserable weather wise here today and he likes it when it’s raining outside so plan here is plates of toast and a general sweep over most.

Biology is a stronger subject, hoping that’s just a refresher.
Least said about Spanish the better!
Maths shouldn’t be too heavy we covered much this week
Geography pre release only briefly looked at but hoping this week’s revision makes that easier who knows
Chemistry - should be ok but will have to go through this with a fine tooth comb I envision

No prom here, think the Head just wouldn’t trust them (standard mixed comp and some are terrors, there would be snogging, vaping, booze, drama left right and centre - so we don’t have that decision!)

My H has a great saying
“If school are the best days of your life you are doing life wrong”

For most there are better days ahead.
(Not next week clearly there are Spanish exams :-D )

@SilverSnaffles … How is your migraine?.. what horrible timing, straight after English… thankfully it sounds like your DD ‘s exam went well, 🌟… trip to America sounds intriguing! Were you surprised by the destination… does she harbour a deep desire to go to somewhere seemingly inexplicable 🤷‍♀️?! … I love it when DC come out with utterly random things in conversation … “…well, as you know, I’ve always wanted to visit the disused gas pumps in that desert in Nevada with the 👽…..”…!! The snow storm sounds cool, too! I would absolutely think the well written part is key…..? All sounds good!

Wow. Well, your DC sound amazing! Your DS1, well, his story is the most positive I’ve heard for my DS. The thought of what he went through, and to have found “his lovely people”, AND girlfriend at Uni is so heart warming.. My DS has strong interests, but only gaming. He has a few online friends he has had for quite a while…. they do talk about stuff outside of gaming, but have never met in real life. You must have felt so uneasy when he went to Uni, I’d have been quite nervous. How wonderful how things have turned out for him 😸..

I love how your DD has her “ nerdy, awkward” as you call it, group! I def think my DS gravitates towards other ND. We were on holiday a few years ago, and whilst the NT DC just cracked on playing in the pool, all the ND gravitated towards DS, sat in the shade, not looking up from his iPad! She sounds cool! And, as for “ the popular kids”, I always think, who defines the popularity..😈. I don’t like the term, I still remember DS and I had had a lovely random trip to Aldi for some macrons he likes, he saw a fellow student getting in a car with his Dad, he spoke first, greeted the other lad, just bright and breezily said Hi and stuff…. the other lad was polite back, but clearly surprised my DS had spoken to him. I asked about him, DS said “ Matthew? Yes, he’s really nice, but he’s one of the popular kids so doesn’t talk to me. He’s not a dick like his friends, tho, as he doesn’t throw shit at my head in class”…… Nice barometer to have.🤷‍♀️

I can’t imagine the years you have had with DD2… that sounds utterly traumatic. I’m so sorry to hear what you guys must have gone through. How lovely, tho, at 21 to have her “ tribe”!! ( I 💖that term!!)!

You really hit the uncomfortable nail on the head, and its words I’ve never even said to DH. I am terrified DS will be beset by loneliness and I do feel physically sick about his “ leaving assembly/shirt signing” on Friday.. but, your post has made me strap a pair on, so to speak! I pray he gets out of there, gets grades to get to the College he wants, a fresh start, new people… and, as they say, “ a stranger is just a friend you’ve not met yet..”! I so hope he blossomed like your beautiful DC have. And, what testament to you! The teenage tears with DD2 must have been beyond challenging for you both…but, I do love your “ best friends through her teens”. You were her everything and what a beautiful and treasured closeness to have, when it could have so easily gone the other way. You sound like a very amazing family! 🤩

Morning all. Sorry to hear all the stories of bullying and stress. Kids can be vile sometimes. DS had some bullying issues at primary but luckily fell in with a nicer group at secondary. The end is definitely approaching now. 20 papers down and 7 remaining here.

DS is spending this morning at a country orchestra and wind band rehearsal as they have a German tour coming up in early July and he’s already missed a couple of rehearsals due to revision. He also has a bassoon lesson this evening (an hour’s drive away), so will need to focus on biology revision this afternoon. Prom is on the horizon and he’s on the Y11 committee so has been involved in the planning. We have the outfit sorted and they seem to be going as a big friend group so it’s been low drama thus far (though there’s time for that to change).

Hope everyone manages a nice weekend alongside the revision!

Change of subject - but I’ve just noticed the weather forecast heats up next week - up to 25 where we are … DS has double aspect bedroom so I’m going to be fighting to keep it cool …. Only the other day I said to him that it was good we had not had a heatwave … fingers crossed it doesn’t get hotter till the exams are all done

We have the same issue. DS
on the top floor in tbe attic. Have been praying for no heatwave and it looked like we had got away with it….

I’m hoping the temperatures stay around 24 rather than get up to the high 20s that’s where the issues start - - we have a fan. I may buy and emergency air con unit!!!

DS came home and went straight to bed last night. But he’s up and focused now so he can see his girlfriend later..

Well last night was loads of fun...

Madam was in a vile mood, exhausted after the morning nightmare sprint to school, 2 papers and possibly coming down with something - have yet to hear signs of life this morning.

English (Edexcel) was apparently good-ish. She wanted to write an article and got landed with a speech instead so fine but not her dream question.

Geography appears to have been a complete disaster - Paper 1 that was dire is now being considered a dream in comparison. I haven't managed to get a lot in the way of detail but something about the case study talking about shop surveys, but none of them did shop surveys so none of them knew what to write about. My suggestion that you could just use common sense got me 'that look' so no idea.

It's always been touch and go if she'll pass - she hates it as a subject and so zero motivation. I will be ecstatic with a 4 but unless Paper 3 is a dream I suspect she may not pass.

She's got a big audition coming up in a couple of weeks and was supposed to have finalised the pieces last week and be working on them last night and next week. As usual she's now gone off them, so last night spent attempting to pick new ones - never great when she's in a bad mood. Suspect she will probably just pick on the day - and I will sit there feeling sick with nerves.😱

Oh god. DD2 just asked me to help her with biology. Less said about her knowledge of the endocrine system the better really! Certainly not much she can say about it.

@achangeofnameisasgoodasarest DS is finding flashcards a good help - otherwise is there a BBC bitesize she can watch? DS finds podcasts more accessible the lots of text. Good luck!

He is currently still in bed in pjs but doing his flashcards! So that's progress 🙂

DS insists on revising on his Chromebook in the lounge. Then moans when people make noise because he’s trying to work 🤷🏼‍♀️ I have tried to say ‘you have a bedroom’ in the past and the conversation didn’t end well. I’m not sure I dare anger the beast today. So we’ll just tiptoe around him instead…

DD was like this. She's at uni now and it amuses me how well she studies in her halls without screaming at everyone to stop breathing.

The whole family sat down and did a Spanish listening past paper
(the only Spanish I have ever done is this revision) and I watched a program on the criminal underworld in Ibiza with Spanish police being interviewed and I was attempting to keep up with English subtitles!

That's it.

I came a very last, Ratty came first with one mark but still.

It was the writing question at the end that let me down mostly :-D

(Basically I decided that the rest of the family could carry some of the Spanish revision burden and made them all play school)

@frozendaisy I understand not being able to help in a language you haven't studied. I did a French with Spanish degree. My DD chose German over French and school doesn't offer Spanish so despite doing a MFL degree I was no help at all.

Well…. I’ve busy’d myself doing laundry and “ personal admin” crap ( DH helpfully at his hobby, and DS18 on football thing), in the hope DS regulates himself and cracks on himself, but having taken various water and snacks in, no real sign, then I went to check he’d started the maths past paper he wanted to do….. he was playing with his mate who “ had just woken up so I can’t just disappear on him”… After a flash of arsiness from him ( I dared to knock, wait, and go in to get coat hangers to hang his wet shirts up….” You don’t respect my privacy!! I need a lock on my door”!!), he agreed to start at 2.15pm. We’ll see.

I told him this morning that, disregarding previous weekends (which are clearly in the past), and next weekend is “ only physics to revise for “), this weekend is the most important of his life right now. And every single mark could, for him, make the difference between getting a 4 in a subject, hopefully getting 4 x 4’s to enable him to leave the school he despises and start afresh , straight away, doing a course he really wants to do, and hopefully without resits. I’m really not sure it’s going in….. maybe I’m the one who needs a break right now! 😈😹🤷‍♀️😹!!

Looking to see how you all are getting on……. Spanish?! Sadly, not doing it, shame as DS18 thats his thing, off to do that and another at Uni.. programme sounds great tho! There’s a new Harlan Coben set in Argentina 🇦🇷 right now!
Biology… yeh, I did that in A Levels Round One.. so he wont be asking for my help! I’ll keep reading your days!!

You said it so well! I’m sad about the prom, but, again, not the missing of the actual event, more, in fact, completely the fact there is no celebration to be had for him. Aim is just to get the hell out of dodge, period. It’s a funny old thing, but as I have zero interest in what date his prom is, I realised the other day we will be on holiday, then, anyway. Not that he’s on social media to check, but, you know….

Well, my friend is a dairy farmer and your Milkshake/ Crème Egg Farm fun sound perfection!!!! Really good fun. As does your obvious great time you guys have together ..🤩

Your imagery of DD at Uni, not screaming at others for breathing made me smile!! I hope she’s having a fabulous time…. 🤗..

Hope DS doing ok today!

Ah yes… breathing… that evil behaviour that we do wholly to annoy the teen 🤣

@frozendaisy ““If school are the best days of your life you are doing life wrong” I love that. So true! I am constantly telling my dc that life begins ‘after’ school. I think with our rather complex mix of school experiences, we have learned that school is not the be all and end all and does not define who you are or how successful you will be - regardless of what school like tell them, on repeat.

With ds1’s mh challenges and dd’s health problems we tend to do things a bit later than most and via a rather circuitous route, but it’s a marathon, not a sprint and they will all get where they need to be at their own pace. It helps that my mum went to uni and qualified in a professional role in her late 40’s, after leaving school with almost not qualifications, so my dc know there is no time limit on success. Dh and I just try to make sure that they know we are always here and will always have their backs,

I'm very surpirsed my younger two wanted to go to prom - well they were unsure to start with. DS went and had a good time - and he spent early years of secondary keeping his head down due to bullying. DD2 deciding to go - has meant a few of her quieter freinds have decided to go as well.

We said to our kids it's rubbish school day are best days - DH and I both found them hard and have enjoyed life since much more.

@Sisublondie Yes, America was definitely a surprise. Dd does want to travel, but current plans are to travel around Ireland with her best friend after their A Levels, so much closer to home, plus the use of a family holiday house for part of the trip. To be honest though, she dreams of being a writer and does have an amazing imagination.

Ds1 went to uni late, after doing a disastrous Supported Internship during the pandemic followed by a, very short-lived, tech job where he was basically bullied out by the ‘football lads’ as he called them, during his trial period. I was heartbroken for him, but relieved it gave him the push to apply for uni. He was too anxious to apply for the longest time. Convinced he would stand out even more as a ‘mature student’ and not sure he could cope with the environment or even do the work. As it turned out there are plenty of students in his year that are older than him and he has aced the work so far. He did a foundation year to get back into study and that was a great way to acclimatise to uni life without the pressure and he went to a local uni, so he could live at home. Apparently lots of them, ND and NT, are also living at home, as the accommodation costs are astronomical these days. The advantage there is that they are relatively local for maintaining friendships in the holidays.

His main interest is gaming too, but he’s also into anime. He is in societies for computer gaming, table-top gaming and anime and his friendships have developed, as quite a few of them are in all three. The socieities all have online chats for those that aren’t comfortable enough to attend meets and are generally very inclusive. The anime societies arranges online screenings, so they can all watch together in the comfort of their own homes, as well as cinema nights on campus. Those that want to are all off to a ComiCon next week as their last event of this academic year!

I was worried sick about him going, but also felt it would be the making of him and I’m so relieved that was how it turned out. We are so proud of him, he is a completely different person than he was a few years back, when he literally could not function through his OCD and anxiety. He has matured so much and really developed his independence too. Obviously he still needs a lot of support, but DSA and Disabled Student Services at his Uni have helped so much. I used to work myself up worrying if he would ever be independent and how he would cope if/when anything happened to dh and I, but he is proving all the naysayers wrong week after week.

Dd has the same health issues as me (I wasn’t diagnosed until I already had three dc and back then they didn’t think there was a genetic link anyway) so at least I understand and have been able to access the right support etc. The background of my experience of the education related fight for ds1 also came in handy. Cue another tribunal to get them ti assess and having to threaten judicial review, again, to get them to finalise. 😡 For a while back there, with ds1 in mh crisis, dd in and out of hospital and having constant appointments and dd2 (the one doing her GCSE’s now, I typed the wrong numbers in my brain addled state the other day) being bullied, it felt relentless and I wasn’t sure we would ever get through it all in one piece, but just putting one foot in front of the other, lots of unconditional love and plenty of bloody mindedness won out in the end.

There seems to be some entirely unnecessary wrangling about pre-prom/post prom parties here which is producing entirely avoidable stress. I think it must be quite intense living with a load of other year 11s to be fair.. but I think it would be energy better spent on the flipping exams. DD2 says she doesn't understand why all the other girls are being SO DRAMATIC (she says this very dramatically and with no sense of irony).

I am being bemused by prom being such a big thing - it was very low-key at DD1's school - didn't involve any marquees or choosing a three course menu or anything- just a reception in the sports hall with a beige buffet of chicken nuggets.

But DD2 has just discovered she has an hour to get ready between an orchestra rehearsal and prom itself so no prepartying for her.

@achangeofnameisasgoodasarest There has been a fair amount of prom drama and angst over the past week or so with some of dd’s classmates. It’s such an unnecessary distraction during the exam period.

Thankfully dd’s group seem to have their heads screwed on about it all. I was so relieved when she announced that she didn’t want to waste hundreds of pounds on an outfit she will only wear for max 3 hours. I know there are girls in her school whose parents have paid around £1000 for just the dress, then have designer shoes, bag and jewellery, limo, hair, make-up and even hotel rooms booked. Dd has a dress from Vinted (which by sheer luck was exactly what she wanted and had been tailored to her exact measurements) and as yet no shoes, bag or jewellery, but we have a couple of weeks after exams finish so I’m sure we’ll get it all sorted.

They aren’t into the usual drunken after party shennanigans, so their after party involves them all leaving joggers and a comfy top here, then piling back to our living room for MarioKart, a movie, popcorn and snacks (as most of them won’t eat what is being provided). I offered to sort non alcoholic cocktails etc, to continue the glam, but they unanimously opted for comfy clothes, their favourite snacks and relaxing. Apparently several of them have been asking how early if would be acceptable to leave the prom and come here, so if they make it to 3 hours I will be surprised.

Well dd allowed herself to watch one episode of anime with ds1 this morning and has been studying ever since, with a short break for lunch. She’s really not looking forward to some exams this week, especially Maths, so has renewed motivation to try and focus on her revision.

@SilverSnaffles your DD can hang out with me anytime. She and her friends have my night out ethos 🤣

We still have to sort most things for prom but do have the dress at least. We tried and failed to get shoes at half term so will think about them and everything else once exams are finished. I’d rather not have to bother and am secretly hoping she’ll decide not to bother going. Bad mum alert. 😂

We've had a full afternoon of history here....partly for the content and mostly because she likes it I would guess. Have suggested perhaps doing biology tomorrow since that exam is actually first.... don't think Spanish is in the mix!

We have DS prom suit, we just need the shirt - but oh he looks so handsome! <soft mum alert!>

Sending solidarity to the DCs on here who faced bullying. My DS wasnt immune to it also. Y8 was bloody horrific for him. There was some nasty psychological bullying going on from a lot of children. Thankfully we have a no nonsense school and once they realised the severity they nipped it in the bud immediately (at least 20 parents informed and the whole class told) - it was sustained bullying over a period of months which I had no idea about, DS was too ashamed to tell me and the school 'forgot' when it first came to light (their only fuck up in this - they were extremely apologetic as it was the type of bullying we really needed to know about to keep an eye on his MH)

Anyway - it seems to have resolved but it had a shattering effect on DS confidence and MH. Luckily the one constant friend was incredible - again he doesnt socialise with him out of school often but it seems he was always there for him at school. Thankfully he is out of it all in two weeks.

So sorry for those who are still dealing with the shit.

Glad you got a nice prom suit Dixie. Bet he looks dapper. Both my boys really suit a suit. Dh got ds's a few weeks ago, and today I ordered a pair of brown brogues that he'd tried on but they never had his size.