My child was hit by a pen, thrown by a teacher

[Tiredallthetimelaura]

So my daughter who is in year 8 was in a lesson when her teacher 'cold called' her a question. My daughter responded she didn't know the answer and the teacher then threw a highlighter pen at her, hitting her on the arm. The teacher then did it again to another student, also hitting them on the arm. We have reached level 2 of a complaint, but it's always investigated by management within the academy. The school keep down playing what happened and not investigating what we ask. This teacher is still teaching, although my daughter isn't going in on the day of that lesson, which is greatly affecting her attendance. The school said they would move my daughter so she could do a different lesson (double Maths or double English), but we said no! This feels like a punishment to our daughter. She wants to do that lesson, just not with that teacher... and we agree.
Any advice on what/how the school legally should be handling this? Happy to answer any further questions Xx

I've worked in schools and think this is incredibly off and would against the staff code of conduct.

I’m trying to figure out what goes on in the mind of someone who thinks throwing pens at children isn’t loosing 🤔

Plenty of people receive a salary for all sort of work. It doesn’t make them a ‘winner’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Are you a teacher by any chance?

Yep, the state system is being bled dry by pointless time wasters / those who don’t want to learn and no doubt compromising the education of others while still this nonsense plays out. Who’d be a teacher? No one, if people like OP are your clients. I’m going to make the broad assumption there maybe be learning difficulties at play too.

100% agree.

It's so obvious that many people have no idea what a bully is as the word is being bandied around on this thread and no idea what goes on in schools.

This was so obviously a misjudged game. Teachers have to dig deep to engage students these days because of so much permissive parenting, but they still can't do anything right for some people. It's clear that the OP is out for this person's job, which is such a bizarre reaction to such a trifling incident.

It's people like yourself who are responsible for raising a generation of snowflakes.
I'm by no means saying that all of the younger generation are snowflakes however, but those that are are being taught that they should winge and complain about every tiny non eventful thing.
You're not helping them gain resilience at all.

It was a bloody highlighter that didn't even leave a mark FFS, get a grip.

Yes agreed, it’s not the pen throwing, it’s the massive overreaction to the point that the child is missing way too much school and she’s the one losing out.

I'm surprised at the reactions here. If I was at work and my boss threw a pen at me for not knowing an answer I would be straight to HR. I would be angry if it happened to my child at school. Completely unacceptable.

I agree with a pp about throwing pens at her on parents evening. After all, it's only a "game" so she can't complain 😆.

If the teacher apologises I would draw a line under it but would go scorched earth if anything like it happened again

Bless.

If I were the headteacher, I’d politely suggest you applied for another a school place as we were ‘unable to meet your child’s needs’, particularly after a 5 week absence, I imagine you could be very easily be off rolled.

As the adult in this perhaps you can discreetly meet with the school and the teacher to discuss this and ask what style of teaching allows a pen to be thrown at a pupil. If this was a 'game' then the participants ought to have accepted the invite. Power dynamics are heavily skewed towards the teacher but that cannot trample the child's nor the Education department's legal right to provide a safe learning environment. Keep your little one out of it and see tis to a conclusion. In the end a simple apology and future re-assurance would most probably be suffice from the teacher so as not to scar your child's education any further

This. You are actually keeping your dd out of school and impacting her education over a highlighted pen!

FFS, what are you thinking of?

While not ideal, it really is not a scandal. If there was no mark, no injury, no trauma, just tell the school you do not appreciate this sort of game and move on.

Do you imagine, when she gets to college or work, no one will ever throw a pen at her? Is she going to stomp off to HR every time?

We had chalk and pens, board rubbers etc thrown at us if we said we didn't know the answer, and he'd told us two minutes earlier. It's no big deal.

The highlighter landed on her blazer sleeve and didn't hurt her in any way. You have a very strange idea of what sadism involves.

I know. It’s quite shocking. What would happen if the child threw it back at the teacher? What is that teacher modelling?

What do you want to happen? The teacher sacked? Personally I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill

I think it's really sad that you are so exclusively focussed on fighting the school that you have neglected a wonderful opportunity to teach your daughter resilience in the face of adversity.

She wants to do the music lesson, so she carries on doing it, with the same teacher. You put it in perspective for her. No-one should throw things at another person and your complaint has been made. You reassure her that the teacher has been brought into line as a result of your complaint. It is one lesson in a whole bunch of other lessons, and so she only has to tolerate it for however long it is, and she can focus on the information and the music, not the teacher.

Going to this lesson becomes an act of self-love and of having her own back, and she can literally keep telling herself that - "I'm going to this lesson because I love myself and I love music, and no teacher will stop me".

But instead you are teaching her that someone else always has to save her, and that running away from fear and avoiding challenges is the best thing to do.

As a school governor I thought I would look at the realities of this which will hopefully help you in the cold light of morning.

1. What the teacher did was wrong. There should be an apology and the teacher should be made aware that the behaviour is unacceptable. If you have not got to this point yet then take your complaint to stage 3 which will be governors.

1. As a yr8 pupil music will be once a week? Maybe even only once a fortnight? For 1hr. We have 6-8weeks of term left - so somewhere between 3 and 8 music lessons. It is not feasible to re-timetable the whole school so you have to work within what is there. So your daughter as 2 options to avoid the music lesson with that teacher- assuming there is not another yr8 music class happening at the same time already. She simply stays out of that class for the term - which she has been offered. As a 13yr old she cannot be roaming school unsupervised so they've offered her I assume to join the other yr8 classes happening at that time. Or she can switch tutor groups / timetable slots entirely which will take her away from friends, teachers in other subjects and probably where they are in other classes at this point. The second option would be hugely disruptive to her at this point in the year.

1. By keeping your daughter out of school entirely for 1 day a week or even fortnight you are costing her hugely in terms of her other subjects. She will have 4 other classes on that day and she is missing the same classes each time that's over 8 weeks is a huge loss. It is also likely impacting her friendships and social skills by isolating her like this. She will also be missing assessments which will impact next year. The attendance drop will also have impacts in other areas.

So my advice to you is that you escalate to stage 3 with the requested resolution of:

• apologies to your daughter
• renewed training for the teacher on acceptable classroom behaviour and a reassurance from them that this will not happen again.
• permission for your daughter not to attend the music class for the remainder of the year (accepting this will mean she joins whatever else yr8 is timetabled)
• guarantee that your daughters tutor group / class will not get the same music teacher next year so that she can rejoin music. I would emphasise that you do not want her changing groups away from friends to achieve this.

This final point might not be simple depending on where they are with timetabling but it would be the focus of my request to the school to put things right given the circumstances.

Read the complaints policy but Stage 3 is likely a governor panel and thus the end of the road with this so it's important you focus your outcomes.

I would get that complaint in over half term and separately (given it will be ~15days school days for a governor response) I would seek to discuss with the head / attendance folks about permission not to attend music this year and get your daughter back into full time school. This will also put you in a better place with a governor panel as you are supporting your child's education rather than simply making unrealistic demands.

Whilst I am not saying the teacher was right to throw objects at children, they clearly were not, you also need to be realistic. I have seen a few of these type of issues as a governor and they turn into witch-hunts. And the only person who suffers is the child at the centre. So I'm suggesting to you that you take it forward based on working within the constraints of the system to get this right for your child.

You think that doesn't happen? The mind boggles ...

I've had a chair thrown at me in the last week, because I asked a child to sit on it rather than stand on it, for his safety. The child has ADHD and was overwhelmed by my asking him this apparently. They were taken to our 'Nest' to play Uno. The child is 15 and 6 foot tall. You have absolutely no idea.

Good lord.

OP, I feel very sorry for your daughter. It’s not her fault she has a parent who teaches her to make mountains out of trivial molehills, encourages her to miss school for no good reason, has embarrassed her by contacting her classmates' parents about her and is relishing the opportunity to create a drama where none exists.

How on earth will your daughter survive in the world of work?

Cold calling is a technique used before teaching a topic to test what they may know so you can gage a jumping off point.

It is unacceptable for a teacher to throw something at a student whatever happened to us as children. Yes it is done as a game which is different and children have been hit for instance when balls are thrown around in PE. Completely different.

An apology and some training for the teacher.

She didn't "keep her dd out of school". This is what OP said:

our daughter point blank refused for 5 weeks to attend school on that day, because she doesn't feel safe... YES, SAFE, around that teacher.

Op, have you considered the embarrassment and humiliation you have caused your dd by being 'that mother'?

You've made a mountain out of a very small mole hill, you've disrupted and continue to disrupt her education, you've turned her into the school joke. And you actually questioned other children !!!!

All I can say is I am very glad you aren't my mum. For her sake, bring this to a conclusion as quickly as possible.

It's all very well PPs saying that pens are too light to do any harm.

When my son was 13 , he was in school and a boy threw a pen across the room . It landed in my son's eye and jelly like stuff was coming out of it .

He was sent to hospital and needed an op on his eye and laser treatment . This was in the nineties .

Very luckily, he didn't lose his sight but his pupil isn't the normal shape, it's missing a bit below it so the pupil is shaped like an upside down pear .

It's almost forgotten about now , except when he meets someone new, as the shape is visible and it becomes a talking point !

Because I’m sure you’d react well to your boss throwing something at you? It’s not ok and it can escalate. Better to call it out and get it dealt with at early stages.

It has opened the doors very wide for the ops daughter to be bullied which makes the problem even bigger.