My child was hit by a pen, thrown by a teacher

[Tiredallthetimelaura]

So my daughter who is in year 8 was in a lesson when her teacher 'cold called' her a question. My daughter responded she didn't know the answer and the teacher then threw a highlighter pen at her, hitting her on the arm. The teacher then did it again to another student, also hitting them on the arm. We have reached level 2 of a complaint, but it's always investigated by management within the academy. The school keep down playing what happened and not investigating what we ask. This teacher is still teaching, although my daughter isn't going in on the day of that lesson, which is greatly affecting her attendance. The school said they would move my daughter so she could do a different lesson (double Maths or double English), but we said no! This feels like a punishment to our daughter. She wants to do that lesson, just not with that teacher... and we agree.
Any advice on what/how the school legally should be handling this? Happy to answer any further questions Xx

I feel like facilitating a conversation between the teacher and your daughter where the teacher can apologise for hurt feelings and your daughter can rejoin her class will teach your daughter a lot more about handling grown up relationships and conflicts in real life. It’s tempting to rescue our kids when they’re upset about something but this doesn’t teach them anything about tolerating difficult feelings or repairing relationships. Not going in AT ALL on the day of that lesson is frankly a bit over the top. You need to teach your child that sometimes things happen that upset us and sometimes other people make a mistake and that doesn’t mean they’re terrible humans.

You've submitted a complaint yet have no wanted outcome. Essentially you just want to moan.

I reccommend you ask for an apology from the member of staff, then the matter is closed.

Bang out of order. He’s there to teach not throw pens at young girls.

A game? When does your daughter get to throw pens at him?

I’d take this far OP.

You don’t like men do you?

The teacher was a woman though 🤦‍♀️!

Just what I was thinking!

And if our bosses all start throwing pens at us in the office are we all just to accept that or is it different because we are not defenceless children?

Whether it was a game or not, throwing a hard object at a student is obviously unacceptable. If you are not happy with the outcome of your complaint, read the complaints procedure carefully to see what the next step would be. Possibly escalating to governors?

However, I can tell you with certainty that where you are going to get nowhere is in your insistence that they change teachers for that lesson. The number of students and teachers a timetable change like that would impact makes it an inappropriate response to the situation.

You therefore have to consider carefully about the impact your current decision is going to have on your daughter, missing days and days of school, as well as not being able to move on from the incident. It feels like it’s become a matter of principle for you, and fair enough, but is your stance maybe doing more harm than good for your daughter now?

There are 7 weeks of school left - I would advise that you accept the school’s double English/maths solution and insist that she has a different music teacher next year.

I prefer men to women.

TBH it makes it worse that it’s a woman. They are much more sadistic in their abuse. The in plain sight will be her kink OP.

You need to take it further OP.

Why was it an impossible question? I knew what blues music was at age 13 without ever being taught it at school.

You haven't explained why your child needs a whole day out of school to avoid one lesson?

If they do it repeatedly, clearly they're nobs.

Not sure if you'd escalate to a complaint for a one off. What resolution would you like?

I think misandry at a make teacher shone through, along with your lack of attention to detail.

Male teacher throwing pens at young girls …. Yeah didn”t happen.

OP is trying to take it further, she’s not getting anywhere, but her DD is missing 20% of her education, who is the loser here?

daughter point blank refused for 5 weeks to attend school on that day, because she doesn't feel safe... YES, SAFE, around that teacher.

I don’t get why you didn’t just say “don’t be ridiculous darling, you are perfectly safe” or accept, as the school have offered, for her to move class. Seems pretty simple to me but you are turning it all into a total drama.

Another example of a poster in OPs camp being highly emotive and dramatic.

We can add “kink” to the ridiculous words used now.

What a load of bollocks

Wow I’m actually shocked at these replies, they sound like a bunch of school bullies themselves What is it with MN and total disregard for children’s rights?

I hope your daughter is ok and I also would be fuming. It doesn’t matter if it was only a pen, it’s the intent behind the throw and her trying to humiliate your daughter. I wouldn’t back down and would uphold the complaint. Can you imagine the schools response if your daughter playfully threw a pen at a teacher. Best of luck

I would think the reason everyone is still talking about it is it has been made into a huge event which is being discussed as you are collecting statements.

It could easily have just moved on naturally without a fuss.

It was a highlighter not a brick.

Your child has not been traumatised or emotionally damaged. If they have maybe you need to work on your own and their resilience to help you have a much calmer existence. It can't be good for you to be so stressed and carrying on these small incidents.

And the daughter is losing 20% of her education, week on week.

She is the loser in all this and I suspect that soon the authorities will be speaking to OP about this.

Why the DD can’t attend other classes that day, really isn’t clear at all.

She point blank refuses to go to school on music day? What consequences have been given for this?

Male teacher throwing pens at young girls …. Yeah didn”t happen.

???????

Anyone got an English translation?

who is the loser here?

The hysterical female throwing pens at girls.

I think you’ll find it’s a load of cunt.

You collected your own statements?

I think that is massively over stepping.

If I was the school I would be addressing your behaviour.

As for the incident, I think your daughter and her classmates know full well this was a bit of fun by the teacher that might have been misjudged..a way to get them interested in and engaged.

If you don't think Y8 girls like a bit of drama, then I've got news for you.

she’s still teaching and receiving her salary, she’s lost not a thing! Quite rightly as well.

How is she losing, do explain?

I can assure you everyone is taking about the absent child every week, not the teacher doing her job.

And you’ve got a sticky ?

Wow I’m actually shocked at these replies, they sound like a bunch of school bullies themselves What is it with MN and total disregard for children’s rights?

MN has always attracted the sort. I’ve called it out on many threads over the years.

Nobody here is arguing that what the teacher did was right. The issue is that the OP clearly wants the teacher sacking and because it’s not looking like that’s going to happen, she’s refusing to let her child be taught by her, claiming the child feels ‘unsafe’.

The OP has lodged a complaint with the school. The teacher has been spoken to and I’m fairly sure won’t be daft enough to repeat the behaviour, whether it was a game gone wrong or not. So why is her daughter continuing to miss a day a week of education?

OP, I’m fairly sure your daughter will be safe in that class. The teacher isn’t going to be stupid enough to throw any more things at her given that you complained. How about you speak to your daughter and explain she should return to class?
Why do you feel the need to push this further?

The teacher didn’t come over and clobber her about the head violently. It was a silly joke/mistake/game that didn’t land the way she expected. And yes, I was a teacher who regularly used the ball game with kids to test learning. And yes, on a few occasions, they didn’t catch the ball and it hit them (thankfully they all thought it was hilarious when that happened!) If a child or parent had complained, I’d have not used that game again. Simple.

Nobody here is saying the teacher should be lobbing pens around the classroom, but the majority of us are confused about what it is you want from this and why your daughter, who you state is very stoic and captain of various teams etc, is so humiliated/upset/emotionally shook up about it?

95% of people on this long thread disagree with you or don’t know what it is you want to happen. Let that sink in.

There seem to be very polarised views on here. My thoughts are that the teacher shouldn't have thrown something at a child. Also this is a complete overreaction, and an e-mail to the head would have sufficed. Both of these things can be true.

Imagine having so much time on your hands that you can whip yourself up into a drama over a total non-event.

I feel sorry for the daughter and any teacher that the OP comes into contact with!