My child was hit by a pen, thrown by a teacher

[Tiredallthetimelaura]

So my daughter who is in year 8 was in a lesson when her teacher 'cold called' her a question. My daughter responded she didn't know the answer and the teacher then threw a highlighter pen at her, hitting her on the arm. The teacher then did it again to another student, also hitting them on the arm. We have reached level 2 of a complaint, but it's always investigated by management within the academy. The school keep down playing what happened and not investigating what we ask. This teacher is still teaching, although my daughter isn't going in on the day of that lesson, which is greatly affecting her attendance. The school said they would move my daughter so she could do a different lesson (double Maths or double English), but we said no! This feels like a punishment to our daughter. She wants to do that lesson, just not with that teacher... and we agree.
Any advice on what/how the school legally should be handling this? Happy to answer any further questions Xx

Not going to lie, these insane teacher bashing threads where ‘emotionally shook up’ teenagers are the focus of multiple complaints are the highlight of AIBU.

Get. A. Grip.

"Poor little buttercup"??

Thankyou @1SillySossij for reminding us all that there are always some adults we need to be wary of and teach our children to be wary of.....

And therefore okay to throw at a child??
Okaaay.........

Oh and I severely hope the LA start fining you and raising safeguarding concerns that you are keeping your child from accessing 20% of their education. Disgusting.

Teach her it's ok to have things thrown at her????
Wow....

I sincerely hope you are not a teacher?

I think you need to be concentrating on getting your DD back into full time education. Missing a fifth of her school hours every week is unacceptable.

For the double lesson of music, can she not sit in an office etc and do homework? You don’t want her to do maths or English, not sure why?

This can’t be allowed to escalate so much, that her education is disrupted. Your duty as a parent is to sort that IMO.

@Tiredallthetimelaura

I’ve only read your responses OP, but of course a teacher shouldn’t throw a pen!
I also cannot understand why responses on here indicate it’s ok to throw a pen, even in a game??
If a child threw a pen at a teacher, would that also be ok - or would there be a consequence, or possibly a severe consequence if it continued?

Why on earth is it ‘ok’ the other way round??
No, I don’t think complaints systems at schools are impartial.

If you don’t think the school are dealing with the complaint properly, I would contact the Local Authority.
You can also find the name of your local MP, Director of Children’s Services in your area.

A highlighter was tossed, it hit your daughter’s arm (not her face), there was no injury, no mark, and no ongoing threat. The teacher might have exercised poor judgement—however, it was a minor lapse in the scheme of things. That’s a far cry from being unsafe.

The idea that your daughter now feels “unsafe” around this teacher, to the point of missing this teacher’s lessons for five weeks, is not a sign of trauma—it’s a sign that she’s been allowed to catastrophise a minor incident. And frankly, at 13, that needs gentle grounding, not fuelling. If she’s truly this shaken, the solution is support and resilience-building—not endlessly blaming the teacher or demanding total control over staffing decisions.

You’ve made your complaint. The school investigated, acknowledged the pen toss, and even offered a timetable adjustment. Instead of accepting that and helping your daughter get back on track, you’ve turned this into a full-scale crusade—accusing the school of a cover-up based on informal statements from teenagers passed through parents.

We all want our kids to feel safe. But we also need to teach them that “feeling unsafe” doesn’t always mean being unsafe. Especially when the facts don’t support the drama. This kind of relentless escalation is what makes it nearly impossible for teachers to do their jobs—and for students to learn to cope when life isn’t perfectly managed to their emotional comfort.

It’s time to stop chasing punishment and start modelling perspective. Your daughter won’t be harmed by this teacher—but she will be harmed by a worldview that tells her she’s always a victim.

Sorry OP but this reminded me of our French teacher years back - he would throw a wooden blackboard eraser (same size as a house brick), and was a pretty good shot if anyone was talking out of turn in the lesson 😮 There were no levels of complaint!

However, the teacher now shouldn't be doing this, especially if a pupil doesn't know an answer! That is nuts and unjust. But to be fair, a highlighter pen is not going to cause too much damage...

I'm literally gobsmacked that so many posters think it's acceptable to throw something /anything at a child?

The mind boggles......

Not being funny but why would you be emotionally shook up becuase someone (teacher) threw a pen? And it just hit her blazer. And it didnt leave a mark or any physical harm.
I really think you need to put this into perspective for your daughters sake. You are not showing any resiliance, making a huge massive emotional deal about a pen.
Ok it was a daft thing to do by the teacher, for this very reason. That it would backfire due to peoples insanity.
Quite frankly this crusade and allowing your daughter to refuse school because of this is ridiculous.

So the child is removed from one of her favourite lessons, whilst the perpetrator remains?

Way to teach a child how to become a victim...

If my child (13/14 years old) came home school, said a teacher threw a pen at them and it hit their blazer, and that they were emotionally shook up and refused to go into school. I would tell them to pack it in, stop being an idiot and to not tey and pull that crap on me, that they are going to school and thats that.

She’s decided not to attend the lesson!! So is off all day, missing one fifth of her education?

Where have I put she should be removed from the lesson, she can’t be removed from a lesson she’s not attending can she?

You think it’s a good thing for the child to miss a fifth of her education?

You may want to filter and read the OPs posts, because currently you’re not aware of the situation are you?

And “perpetrator” give over!

My thoughts exactly. those black board rubbers were huge and heavy aswell, I remember them flying across the classroom many a time. plus kids getting a whack occasionally with the big wooden 1 metre ruler. No one I know of from my school days is suffering from ptsd as a result.
How times have changed, us gen Xers were much tougher and more resilient.
I really feel sorry for teachers these days, millennial parents are an absolute nightmare, no wonder teachers are leaving in there droves.

Oh no……. Give them the whole day off every week because they don’t want to attend music.

Not a morning, not an afternoon …. The whole day.

I’m sure that the teachers in the other lessons are really happy to have to play catch up every week with DDs daughter.

This!!! 100% this!
I have never heard such nonsense!

@Petitchat

And frankly, your attitude "little darlings" simply reminds us parents to be very wary and distrustful of teachers.
Which is a shame......

Now do tell, what is so sinister about the use of "little darlings" that requires "wariness and mistrust"? Pretty strong nouns. Are you implying something immoral or illegal pertaining to a teacher's use of the term? That they are perhaps grooming a child or something similar? That's the only reason I can understand "wariness and mistrust" attached to the phrase.

We see "little darlings" all the time. You do too. We all understand the term, and the children to whom it pertains. It's a pretty mild descriptor, despite your reaction. It actually gives us a very good picture of the parent as well as the child. Cause and effect. However, we see it, recognise it and tuck it away. It makes no difference to our treatment of the child, but just, perhaps, "wariness" on the part of the teacher, should the parent choose to misinterpret their actions or words in other situations. Some parents are pretty hair-trigger in their responses to any action or perceived slight.

It's no wonder that teachers are leaving in unprecedented numbers. You will have a great deal more to moan about when your children are taught by unqualifed staff with no knowledge of the subject because every single word or phrase they use is picked over and deliberately becomes cause for petty complaint.

I’m quite astonished at the number of posts on here defending the teacher. Maybe the student should have thrown the pen right back at the teacher. What would you think about that???

Op I agree the teacher shouldn’t have thrown a pen at anyone. What’s the purpose ? To embarrass them? Intimidate them? If this happened inthe workplace and a manage threw a pen at an employee there would be repercussions and I would argue this is worse as it’s a child. Had your complaint been managed correctly in the first place you wouldn’t need to continue to escalate.

What outcome do you want? Will you continue to escalate the complaint? Go to the head and Board of Governors? In terms of finding a solution it’s tricky as moving the teacher would disrupt many other children which isn’t fair on them either so it would be easier to move your dd not because she is wrong but because she is one person. Otherwise could she receive the work from another music teacher but go do it independently in the library or pastoral area during this teachers class time? I do think your child deserves an apology from the teacher as a bare minimum though.

It makes no difference whatsoever if your teacher threw blackboard erasers or that no parents complained!
Who cares?

The facts here and now are, a teacher has thrown something at a child.
The child is supposed to suck it up and/ or move to another class.
Put up with being hit with a flying object, put up with being moved from one of her favourite lessons.
Teacher remains in said class.

It's downright worrying that many posters can't see the injustice and find this acceptable.
Even more worrying that they seem to be teachers.

And teach your child how to accept being a victim?
Wow....

What is the correct word then, for a person who aims a missile at another person?

@Petitchat

Oh for heaven's sake! A victim?? Could you please tone down the drama? You certainly can't be a teacher with that level of understanding.

Oh, and to edit, I see a highlighter has become a "missile"! WTAF??