Year 11 - 2024/2025: Half way, half baked, half term!

[QueenMabby]

Continuation of the year 11 support thread. Go!

I’m looking forward to getting my kitchen table back…

Did you get your cake?!🎂🎂🎂!! I do hope so! Definitely a good motivator! It’s good he did a good, meaty Q5, and I love how you dealt with sussing out that a second one probably wasn’t coming, and getting him to “ add meat to it!!”

After I posted on here, I had a friend pop over unexpectedly, so I was unaware what he was up to (DH and DS18 were out)… when I went up, he said he’d done a past paper Q5 online….”Parents bring overprotective”, or something?, he quickly scrolled through it, wouldn’t let me read it, (it had a had a suspiciously good score on the bottom…….)… he just said he’d found the subject ok to write ( had to write a broadsheet article, it looked like?). So, I’m disappointed not to have read it, and just have to trust him. He said he will do another Q5 tonight ( but, I’m not going to push him).

Chemistry flash cards with DH sound good! DS will tolerate a bit of business with DH, not really anything with me.. 🤷‍♀️🙄. I hope the session goes well!

I wish!

Mine will not do anything with me, and is annoyed if I interfere and is fairly hopeless at organising anything herself.

Hence my undying gratitude to all the tutors - at least I know that is a productive hour spent.

Mainly I feel like I howl into a gale and hope something sticks

I’m with you, I’m afraid. and @Delatronit appears. I would absolutely love for him to tolerate my helping/ sitting with him. I took this week off work, but he won’t have my bring with him. He did let me do some RS with him a bit ago.. when I jokingly started with a couple of very basic questions on a particular festival, and it was clear to us both that he didn’t know, he got defensive, so they was the last time that happened! He did some business with DH ( as that’s his thing), but in a subject with “ my thing” in, nope! I’m pretty much banned and I’m so jealous of those who are allowed to be involved. I’ve created numerous timetables, never used, bought one he agreed to off Amazon in the end, also not used. I’m really afraid that he just goes on SME, faffs for a bit, does a few multiple choice questions, and calls it revision. I just found out the English he did before…. he said he was chatting to him fellow gcse mate at the same time 🙄.. he just is not getting the importance of the exams-AT ALL. I’ve tried, repeatedly, to tell him, June 16th, you will be free as the proverbial until college starts!! But you have to get to college! 🙄

So, I understand how you feel, it’s really hard. We are so used to being able to make everything ok for them, solve all their little problems… and, when we want to do what our usual has always been, they forget that they are still technically children, think they are absolutely capable of dealing with things on their own, and we can be kicked to the kerb 🤷‍♀️… ( until its feeding time!!! 😹)! … Don’t worry, it’s not just you being left to worry alone. And, you are so right….. in situations beyond our control, if you’re sure they won’t let you in on their revision, for example- think of the positives!.. they will be self- sufficient earlier, because they have chosen to be, they have found they are comfortable with that and…… I guess we have to suck it up! 🤷‍♀️

just reading last few posts, when people say "we" - are you actually physically sitting with your DCs and revising together? and they are ok at 15 -16 with that or is it what they have always been used to?

Ds doing A-levels it was that at GCSE literally sitting with him and directing- but not now at A-level - though he works better in college library or at kitchen table. All I've done is printing out past exam papers and questions from question bank and checking he started.

DD2 - just talk to her about her plan and check she doing something and checking she needs no more books or exam questions.

Sending knowing 🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗!! You’re not alone. it’s bloody irritating, tho, isn’t it!

What is annoying, tho, is the fact I’m doing nothing constructive whilst all this drama is going on….just meandering around, being bright and breezy, trying to gauge what is being achieved 🤷‍♀️! And, trying not somehow annoy him ( easily achieved, apparently, even if I’m downstairs!).

*for “ drama” read, DS squirrelled away in his room, house quiet ( DH and DS18 out) and only the dogs to thankfully distract my brain from over catastrophising!

@OhCrumbsWhereNow

ps- hope your tutors haven’t taken the week off! Like DS’s English and Maths ones have ….😡🤯😡!!

I’ve got horrid torrential rain, but no gales, as yet! Sending 🤗🤗🤗…. needed in those gales you’re howling in 💖

I’m very hands off because I wouldn’t have a clue how to help and would confuse her even more. If DD1 is home at the weekend she’ll fire some chemistry, biology questions at her and go through any maths that’s tricky - if she asks, of course. She calls DD2 at uni if she’s confused with history. But she’s very self directed. She absolutely gets distracted and I’ll often find her in the study doing something that’s definitely not studying. ADHD - medicated but still… Given what you’ve all said I may try to ask her about Vietnam - like ‘tell me about Vietnam’ & let her go; I’ll definitely learn something but won’t know if it’s right or wrong.

It’s hard, isn’t it? 🤗. It’s not just the exclusion, when you want so much to help, it’s also ( for me, at least) being unsure as to how much/ little is being achieved.

It did tickle me earlier, on your feeding point and checking they are still alive/ not fallen asleep 💤 at their desk ( or floor! That’s happened!), I joked with him after he’d texted me saying “ Water!!!! Please!!!!!!” … about how he could have popped to the fridge and stretched his legs to get some if he was going to waste time taking his fingers off his keyboard doing revision to text me…… he simply smiled and said “ SIRI!! TEXT MUM”!!!!!! ….🤷‍♀️😈😹

Ours have all been amazing.

I feel like I could get a job in air traffic control by the end of this. Have been trying to schedule every session so it lands the night before the appropriate exam.

Some we've had since December, some we are just doing a few sessions in final weeks. They have all been amazing and made a huge difference to my sanity - if they also improve grades then that is a big bonus!

And yes, DD is utterly infuriating - and very hard to predict. She does nothing or a huge amount depending on whether she is in the mood/likes the subject. I am immensely jealous of my friend whose DC has white board planners and organised notes and is self motivated and conscientious. On the other hand, I'd have probably died of shock if DD had done anything of that sort... not sure she has even opened some of the many revision books and flashcards I have bought. I will be donating them all to school in the hopes that the next owner makes better use!

No cake today @Sisublondie as DS crashed out on the sofa watching football clips on YouTube. I let him off as he was exhausted 🙂

He also hasn't done Physics tonight for the same reason. He has promised DH they can do extra tomorrow. He has almost finished the flashcards for P2 so again we let him off.

@ThisPerkySloth2 DS actually said today that he missed me working with him and wanted us to work together today. That's after telling me I was boring last week for trying to help him with his English 😂 unfortunately I was working from home so couldn't work with him although we did work across the hallway together with doors open having chats. I felt sad though that I hadn't taken the time off to work with him.

DH and I are helping him a lot as he needs it. He struggles to get started when not in an exam hall so we are the motivators. I do a lot of the reading to him tactics described above and we discuss after each section with q&a. It works for us.

I know he needs to learn independent study but we are not dropping him at this crucial time. Once he gets to college he knows he has to take ownership. We just need to get him there.

Hope your DD had a lovely time! 😸

Our teens are all so different yet so many similarities and as parents we are all doing our upmost that shows up in many different formats. We all have to respond to our teens’ needs and that requires us to be flexible in our approaches. One size defo does not fit all! It’s great to have this thread that highlights these and how we also support each other!

So funny! My DS is on the top floor. I joke that we need an intercom system!

It’s so hard as I have zero idea how much revision is being done. I pop up from time to time. Sometimes he’s working,
sometimes he’s in bed 😂. He said he did a Geography paper today so that is something. But he doesn’t get going until at least 2pm so I find that stressful..!

😹😹😹!! Love it!! Yes, an intercom sounds like the dream! DS18 also has his man cave on the top floor…after he moved up there, I quickly worked out that if he didn’t respond to my texts, it’s easier to just stand outside the front door, and his window is almost directly above it … if I stand and yell, that usually works 😈🤩! ( luckily don’t live on main road… cause that would look very weird!).

Yes, sounds like our DS are super similar! Ah!, the sleeping!! ….. yesterday a cheeky afternoon nap was added to his repertoire… it’s hard when sometimes they actually DO look knackered! Then emerging bleary eyed in time to ask what’s for lunch! I really don’t know how much he is doing, each day feels like a battle and, yes, ditto! , if he says he’s done something, I’m so happy! So, yes, today- you take the Geography paper victory!!! 🥳🎉🥳🎊…..

That’s extremely well said! .. I like how you said that, and, yes, support will always be needed by everyone in life…. no matter how peachy their lives appear…

So, yay for this thread! 🤩… 🙏Thank you, all 😻

You can use Alexa/Siri as an intercom

DD is up in the attic and yelling up the stairs gets exhausting.

You can also turn alarms on in their room remotely using Siri 😈

This is good information!

Thank you SO much!

I concur with @Delatron!! , this is ALL new, and superb, information! 😈.. the pesky DC’s on top floors/attics……. Be Afraid!! 😈😹….

We just say "alexa drop in on kitchen / x's bedroom" wait until it turn green i think from memory and then have a normal 2 way conversation :)

I never knew this! Need to pop one in Dads room. We have a gong for dinner 🤣

They are really handy.

We also got them for Aged Parents so they could speak to each other in different rooms, and then trained them in how to use them for kitchen timers, weather forecasts and anything else they wanted to know. They gazed at these boxes with deep suspicion.

DD gets furious with my choice of wake up music... so much fun to be had at half-term and less infuriating than storming up the stairs.

@Delatron this made me laugh so like my DS too. Yes I too work on keeping DS watered and fed and going to bed on time. But still have that nagging thought should I be doing more!

@Bananafofana marking schemes always look complicated to me so I’d probably be little use. Every dc is different so is the support that they need or want. Well my DS knows where I am but I doubt I’ll be called upon anytime soon other than to be asked what’s for lunch / dinner!!! 😁

@Sunnyafternooning thats well planned revision, I worry DS isn’t as planned but time will tell. I did used to plan his revision but he didn’t like it nor stick to it so I took a big step back. We came to agreement in January when DS said he was going to start revising (his decision) that he’d ensure to go through each subject two times by Easter BUT I had to leave him alone 😂. He prefers to read. But was doing exam papers at school. So I went with it. It’s just that nagging lingering thought did I do the right thing!!!! Again time will tell.