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Secondary education

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Original poster

Moving school in Year 10

132 replies

winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 10:15

DS was at a private school from year 7 and moved in year 10 (just this September past) to another private school that had a small entry point in year 10. The results at this new school are a lot better (65% grades 7-9 as opposed to 43% at his old school) and facilities much much better. We decided to apply very late in year 10 as not overly happy with the old school as there was some disruption in classes, results not great for a private school and virtually no facilities, however, DS was happy there. DS got offered a place, did a taster day and we decided to move him although we were both a little unsure at the time but the school only gave us a week to decide so we took a chance. DS started at the beginning of September but he really doesn't like it and wants to go back to his old school. The school day at his new school is really long and he says the lessons are very strict and boring, plus, although he has made some friends, he says they are not his type of people (all very posh and nerdy (his words), plus the school day is very long and the journey there is a lot longer and more difficult so he's exhausted. Even though the facilities are great, you are forced to do the school sports and he isn't into rugby at all and has a lot of existing sports commitments outside of school. I told DS to give it until half term to settle but he is still saying he wants to go back to his old school. Old school still has a place for him and says they would love to have him back. I feel in my heart, although new school is better on paper and the organisation and communication is excellent, I can't bear for him to be unhappy and should let him return to his old school. However, new school has said we will need to pay for next term as well as 1 term's notice is required. We already paid for this term and old and new school which has nearly bankrupt me and I really don't want to go it again although would think about it if it meant DS being happy. WWYD??

OP posts:
MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 10:22

The lessons are strict and boring? Maybe that's why they get good results.
You're the parent. You moved him for good reasons, don't move him back because he wants an easier life.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 10:47

MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 10:22

The lessons are strict and boring? Maybe that's why they get good results.
You're the parent. You moved him for good reasons, don't move him back because he wants an easier life.

Thank you. Very good point. I am wary of exactly that!

OP posts:
MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 10:51

The problem is that you left it open ended, so he thinks he has a get out clause. Yr10 is too significant . They're half a term into the GCSE work and that's important.Talk to him about managing workload and making friends, maybe contact the pastoral team at the school about your concerns.

Peripeteia · 21/10/2024 10:56

I’d let him move back. I appreciate the financial strain but what looks right on paper isn’t always right in actuality and happiness at school is so important. He’s so close to his GCSEs - you don’t want him disengaging now.

MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 10:59

Return him to poor facilities, disruption in lessons and poor outcomes?

okydokethen · 21/10/2024 11:01

Move him back - it's an important year not just for exam results. Happy learners are better learners too.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:06

MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 10:59

Return him to poor facilities, disruption in lessons and poor outcomes?

Apparently the disruption in lessons has been addressed this year. Facilities are a loss but they don't get to use a lot of them anyway and DS has all his sports commitments outside of school anyway so doesn't really need the on-site facilities. Agree with the comment on the results. They are not poor as such but poor for a private school although it is a non-selective school.

OP posts:
Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:07

Peripeteia · 21/10/2024 10:56

I’d let him move back. I appreciate the financial strain but what looks right on paper isn’t always right in actuality and happiness at school is so important. He’s so close to his GCSEs - you don’t want him disengaging now.

Yes, that is what I am thinking. Would you honestly pay double fees for 2 terms though?

OP posts:
MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 11:08

Double fees and moving to a worse school? Why did you move him in the first place - think about that.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:09

MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 10:51

The problem is that you left it open ended, so he thinks he has a get out clause. Yr10 is too significant . They're half a term into the GCSE work and that's important.Talk to him about managing workload and making friends, maybe contact the pastoral team at the school about your concerns.

I have obviously encouraged him to stay and make friends but he has said from day 1 that he doesn't like it and wants to go back. He says it's not his type of place. It's very traditional and privileged which is really not DS's thing at all. He would stay if I insisted but I don't think he'd be that happy in himself.

OP posts:
MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 11:10

winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:06

Apparently the disruption in lessons has been addressed this year. Facilities are a loss but they don't get to use a lot of them anyway and DS has all his sports commitments outside of school anyway so doesn't really need the on-site facilities. Agree with the comment on the results. They are not poor as such but poor for a private school although it is a non-selective school.

Show quote history

Even if it is non selective, the results should be better. They will have small class sizes, better resources and can pay for more staff cpd.
Anyway. Your choice.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:20

What about the new school doing iGCSE for English Lang and Lit? I thought they weren't so well regarded/dumbed down? He also doesn't feel ready to start doing coursework in Year 10.

OP posts:
MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 11:27

I have no idea what their curriculum is. I'm sure that you considered that carefully before the move, and if this doesn't match what you researched about them, that's a concern.
However, if you're having second thoughts, discuss the issues with the new school.

AnellaA · 21/10/2024 11:34

It seems like the move was not well thought through - didn’t you do any research to find out that it was stuffy and restrictive?

honestly I think it’s on you OP, that your dd isn’t on board with the move. I think you have to suck up the cost and move him back.

redskydarknight · 21/10/2024 11:49

I would suck up the fees and move him back. (I'd probably point out that you are losing out financially wise and expect that he does his bit by working hard and doing his best at the school)

The things he dislikes (school day, "wrong" sports, strictness, traditional school, doesn't match ethos of school) are not things that will get better by staying.

It seems to me that your only reason to keep him there is that you are impressed by the better exam results. Those are averages, however, and an unhappy child will likely do less well.

SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 11:55

It is pretty common for private schools to do some iGCSEs and they are not dumbed down.

Was DS on board with the move before it happened?!

SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 11:56

The space at his old school - will it accommodate all his gcse choices? As the timetable will be set by now.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:56

MagdaLenor · 21/10/2024 11:27

I have no idea what their curriculum is. I'm sure that you considered that carefully before the move, and if this doesn't match what you researched about them, that's a concern.
However, if you're having second thoughts, discuss the issues with the new school.

TBH, I looked at the curriculum but didn't notice that the GCSEs in English Lit and Lang were iGCSEs which I am not happy about. That is my main complaint.

OP posts:
Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:57

SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 11:55

It is pretty common for private schools to do some iGCSEs and they are not dumbed down.

Was DS on board with the move before it happened?!

Yes, he was otherwise we would not have moved him. He did a taster day there and we both thought it would be a good fit for him.

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 11:57

Why aren’t you happy with iGCSEs?

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:57

SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 11:56

The space at his old school - will it accommodate all his gcse choices? As the timetable will be set by now.

Yes, have checked and they will.

OP posts:
Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 11:59

redskydarknight · 21/10/2024 11:49

I would suck up the fees and move him back. (I'd probably point out that you are losing out financially wise and expect that he does his bit by working hard and doing his best at the school)

The things he dislikes (school day, "wrong" sports, strictness, traditional school, doesn't match ethos of school) are not things that will get better by staying.

It seems to me that your only reason to keep him there is that you are impressed by the better exam results. Those are averages, however, and an unhappy child will likely do less well.

Thanks and yes, I would do that. The results are the biggest sway and the much better organisation, comms and facilities, even if he's not using them. Also, I wouldn't say he is unhappy as such, would just have been happier at his old school. The new school is quite hard to get into and was the school we wanted him to do to in year 7 and year 9 (he didn't get a place at those entry points).

OP posts:
Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 12:01

SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 11:57

Why aren’t you happy with iGCSEs?

Just concerned they are less well regarded by unis and employers? Plus he doesn't feel ready to start doing coursework. Plus, he is at school in the UK in the British system so not sure why he would do iGCSEs. Seems odd.

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 21/10/2024 12:03

winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 12:01

Just concerned they are less well regarded by unis and employers? Plus he doesn't feel ready to start doing coursework. Plus, he is at school in the UK in the British system so not sure why he would do iGCSEs. Seems odd.

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They are not less well regarded by universities and employers.

Do they have coursework? I rather thought the point of iGCSEs was that they didn’t.

My sons go to a well regarded selective secondary and they offer a mix of gcse and iGcse - I think the school basically picks the exam board and curriculum it likes the sound of for each subject.

Original poster
winterrabbit · 21/10/2024 12:04

AnellaA · 21/10/2024 11:34

It seems like the move was not well thought through - didn’t you do any research to find out that it was stuffy and restrictive?

honestly I think it’s on you OP, that your dd isn’t on board with the move. I think you have to suck up the cost and move him back.

It's DS, not DD, and I let him decide if he wanted to move or not. We didn't think the school was stuffy and restrictive when we accepted the offer. It's a fantastic school on paper and hard to get into.

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