Moving school in Year 10

[winterrabbit]

DS was at a private school from year 7 and moved in year 10 (just this September past) to another private school that had a small entry point in year 10. The results at this new school are a lot better (65% grades 7-9 as opposed to 43% at his old school) and facilities much much better. We decided to apply very late in year 10 as not overly happy with the old school as there was some disruption in classes, results not great for a private school and virtually no facilities, however, DS was happy there. DS got offered a place, did a taster day and we decided to move him although we were both a little unsure at the time but the school only gave us a week to decide so we took a chance. DS started at the beginning of September but he really doesn't like it and wants to go back to his old school. The school day at his new school is really long and he says the lessons are very strict and boring, plus, although he has made some friends, he says they are not his type of people (all very posh and nerdy (his words), plus the school day is very long and the journey there is a lot longer and more difficult so he's exhausted. Even though the facilities are great, you are forced to do the school sports and he isn't into rugby at all and has a lot of existing sports commitments outside of school. I told DS to give it until half term to settle but he is still saying he wants to go back to his old school. Old school still has a place for him and says they would love to have him back. I feel in my heart, although new school is better on paper and the organisation and communication is excellent, I can't bear for him to be unhappy and should let him return to his old school. However, new school has said we will need to pay for next term as well as 1 term's notice is required. We already paid for this term and old and new school which has nearly bankrupt me and I really don't want to go it again although would think about it if it meant DS being happy. WWYD??

Have you talked to the other two families that moved their DC at the same time? How are they finding it? Does the Year 10 with its higher level of work load and new school giving them more is causing your son to want to leave? Old school, how many hours of homework compared to new school? I think to get the grades more homework are given to all Year 10 in all schools. 5 terms to GCSEs, follow by A levels. The step from GCSEs to A levels can be huge so they maybe managing at the right amount but a lot more than Year 7,8,9.

They were partly about quality of education and partly about much better facilities, organisations and comms. As for not really trying, because he is in year 10, we don't have time to give it much longer.

I wouldn't move him now. Catching up on missing texts in lit, and topics in maths, will be hard. Your view of iGCSE's is odd, (although neither of my ds's did them , they are very respected). More concerning is your statement that he's not ready to do coursework, what on earth does that even mean?

But thats just it.

If you were going to do that move, you do it in yr9. Not yr10.

Now you have put yourself in a situation where everyone concerned is mucked about. You shuoldn't be moving in the middle of yr10, which is where you are now.

You move before or after yr11. Mid way through? Even if just half a term, you say suck it up lad.

We did try to move to this school in year 9 and he didn't get a place. There were 60 applications for 3 places.

Noone is being mucked around apart from DS and that is all l care about. Both schools are getting fees in full so how exactly are they being mucked around. It's also not in the middle of year 10. We are 6 weeks into the first term. The middles of the year 10 is the Feb half term. Do please stop talking nonsense!

But he is getting mucked around. By you. Because you made a silly decision to move in yr10...

...for reasons that you are now saying don't matter anymore.

Either they mattered or they didn't.

And if you have decided that they don't matter enough and that you are going to return him to the previous school, why are you on MN asking for advice anyway because you have made a decision.

This just sounds like you want validation that the decision you made is somehow not your fault and that you didn't make a stupid mistake rather than just taking ownership of it.

Why are you being so horrible to OP? Obviously she AND DS thought it was the right decision at the time, and now she is trying to determine what to do for the best.

If he had settled fine, she wouldn’t be on here.

I am sure if she and DS could go back in time then they wouldn’t have made the move, but they have to deal with the here and now.

Telling her how stupid she was helps precisely no one and is just nasty.

I haven't made a decision yet so I was seeking views and advice which, apart from your post, I've received and has been extremely helpful. Why are you on Mumsnet or this post as it's not to offer either advice or support is it? You clearly just like being nasty to people.

They do matter but other factors matters too and it's a case of trying to balance those different factors and arrive at the right decision. This is clearly lost on you. And people do move at the beginning of year 10. You may not but it does happen. Not sure why I am having to justify anything to you TBH!

Well why the thread? I don't get it. You've clearly already made up your mind. That's fine. You are right, you don't need to justify anything to anyone else. So why the thread?

You clearly don't think the reasons you had for the move aren't that significant and that ultimately you don't think its a big deal to move back.

So just do that. Without all the angst to justify it here!

I can’t imagine paying fees for a school that gets 43% grades 7-9. It’s going to be a culture shock for your DS because this school is more focused on academics and so are the DC who go there. That’s why you moved him isn’t it? For better results? And he can’t have better results without putting in more effort.

Have you asked the current school about flexibility with regards to your DS’ out of school sports commitments?

As I said, I have not made a decision yet so stop telling me that I have. Why do you think you know so much? I am weighing up the reasons for and against and am struggling to decide what to do (this is called angst in your book). There were good reasons to move him but, if he is unhappy at his new school, those reasons carry less weight. He liked the school on a taster day and is a pretty confident, resilient boy so we didn't think it would be an issue especially as his main group of friends are local friends outside of school. I am trying to bring him around to staying where is he but he is really set on returning to his old school. It's a case of heart over head. The new school is more academic on paper, however, he was in the top sets in his old school so I actually think the academic side is not that different although there is less disruption in lessons but also less interaction at all. I think most normal parents (not including you on this) would be listening and trusting their kids mainly when making a decision like this rather than condemning forcing them to stay somewhere they are not happy because a decision cannot be reversed, in your view.

The OP isn’t being angsty. The person most wound up by this thread is you. If you think it’s a waste of time, stop commenting.

I wouldn’t respond further to that poster, OP, if I were you. I’m not going to!

I get it: you (and he?) always aspired to the new school and the year 9 application wasn’t successful. That might have swayed you both slightly when you “finally” got the chance, in a way that a totally fresh school at that stage wouldn’t,

You may be able to imagine it if the alternative was a school with 30% 7-9 and the school was really nurturing. It may have seemed a better option, or the best option out of a not great choice. Many people in DS's primary chose this school for the same reason. Agree that the new school could be a culture shock for that reason, i.e. the lessons are far more serious which could lead to better outcomes. Having said that, I think DS will do the same, or similar at either school.

You might have been swayed by the shining results and flashy resources, but I would move him if he was my child. I'd hate the thought of my dc being so unhappy.

Consider the fact that he has started his GCSE courses now and different schools teach things in a different order. So he could have missed a whole term of content if he moves now.

Half a term. He has only been there 6 weeks if we move back after half term. 6 weeks isn't that much considering exams boards are largely the same and same English Lit texts.

The exam board may be the same for all subjects and the English lit texts but all schools can decide when to teach them, as mentioned in previous posts. This goes for all topics and subjects so check the topics covered in the 6 weeks from old school. If you moving DC back after half term, he need to spend the half term checking notes are up to date. Can he check with his old school friends, can you check with the teachers in old school?

43% grades 7-9.
That's not great. Our local schools have much higher than that.

It depends when schools aim to finish teaching the content, if they try to finish by Christmas next year he has missed 1/8th or Frb halftetm 1/9th of the curriculum, if studying 9 GCSE'S potentially the equivalent of a whole GCSE content (worst case scenario), anything covered in a different order could be spread through the next year. If you had made the decision before half-term, he could have used the half term to speak to friends at old school and start catching up.

I would speak to new school and see if adjustments can be made e.g not doing rugby.

Ignore those saying the results are bad in both schools. Neither are! National average 7-9 is only 22%, Surrey is the ‘best’ county with 32%. A school is much more than it results as well.

Saying that, your son hasn’t given the new school a chance. He was saying from the start of term he wanted to go, that means he has his foot out the door and you kept the door open. 6 weeks really isn’t a long time to settle into a new environment. He sounds homesick rather than genuinely missing his old school.

How do you know the messing around has stopped at the old school? A behaviour change is never over night so treat that with some skepticism.

I would keep him at the new school and encourage him to engage with it fullly. As others have pointed out anecdote does not mean same teaching order.

Could the money you save be used for something he would like in the future - driving lessons and first car? So he can see the value in not spending double fees for 2 terms?

@winterrabbit what did you decide?

Oh and off course his old school will take him back - they have lost at least 3 students in his year group and that is a lot of money. They are a business.

They will promise a lot (catch up lessons, support, better behaviour, more stretch …) but that doesn’t always appear.

Check out the finances of both schools on the charity commission. https://register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/en/charity-search With VAT coming in a lot of schools are getting twitchy. You don’t want to be in a position where you move DS back and the school closes shortly later!