Very scary maths teacher

[CathyCampbell]

My DD has just started at secondary school. It felt like it was going well for the first few days. However, she is getting upset in the mornings and came home upset tonight about her maths teacher. It sounds like the teacher she has for maths is extremely strict. Strict to the point of being terrifying! My DD doesnt like maths much but managed it ok in primary school and did ok in the SATs. But she's absoultely distraught at the idea of having to take maths with this woman. She said that she 'had never met anyone like her before' and felt so frightened in the class that she couldnt move. I feel so frustrated by this, everything else was going fine and she was excited about starting secondary. It feels morally wrong to be making year 7 children this terrified in their first week! My question is, do you think the school would consider moving her to another class? I feel like they will just say no, but it feels unjust and counterproductive to be so terrified of one of the teachers that you dont want to go to school. I have never seen my kind and happy-go-lucky child so upset before.

No one should be feeling terrified at school.

I do think your DD may eventually prefer these lessons over the softer teacher lessons, as she will not allow any inappropriate behaviour from other classmates.

My DD was really afraid of getting told off or getting a detention and she really struggled at first.
I basically had to tell her that she is always very good (ASD) and if she does get told off or given a detention then it’s not the end of the world and to just accept it and then speak to the teacher in private if she feels it was unfair.
She ended up getting a detention in year 9 for losing her pen and she was sick with worry but as soon as she had it, she realised it wasn’t that bad and wasn’t as worried.

I’m sorry your DD is already feeling so worried.

Explain how some students do have bad behaviour and this is the teachers way of getting control over it.

Tell her if she does get told off or get a detention to not argue/try and explain at the time but just accept it and apologise and then speak to her afterwards.

She sounds utterly shit.

People are going to say ‘it’s high school etc’ but my school was a high achieving school and the way they did that was awful. I have some horrific memories of some awful teacher behaviour. We accepted it back then, I wouldn’t accept it now and nor would my mother if it was me going through it now. This was only 20-30 years ago and it was terrible. No child should be feeling like your child is.

I would tell your daughter to give the lessons a go and if she still feels this way then contact the head - children should be allowed and encouraged to ask questions, no matter how ‘silly’ they seem. Some teachers are terrible end off and shouldnt be teaching.

No one should feel terrified at school.

I taught secondary for many years and at some point in the first week most year 7ms cried.

They were in a new environment, secondary is not as fluffy as primary and they are often worried about the other kids (the year 11's are adult size but still act like 8 year olds at times) and the teachers.

I've had year 7's come in late because they got lost and burst into tears before I've even had chance to say anything (and what I say it I got lost lots on my first week, don't worry about it you'll get used to it).

If all you actually have to complain about is that this teacher is calling students "child" and being sneery then it is likely both the class and the teacher will get to know each other and as your child settles down she will be fine.

She will not have their names memorised and they are children. So calling them child makes sense. Not something to get upset about.

I doubt she’s sneering, but it’s something to watch.

Eye rolling is hardly something to get upset about.

I’d tell your DD to give it a chance, but if there are problems she must come to you with specific examples/incidents. Not vague ‘she’s mean’ statements - you need chapter and verse. In a few weeks you can assess.

i had a terrifying chemistry teacher. She could make a grown 6th form rugby captain cry with just a few words. But she was amazing and by the end was hands down my absolute favourite.

Eye rolling is hardly something to get upset about.

It is if it’s in response to questions. How are the kids expected to learn if they can’t ask questions?

This is good advice. The best thing can do is to encourage your daughter. Don’t feed into her fear or suggest it’s justified.

I reckon it’s more of a “Go outside and sort your tie out” situation.

When my well behaved Dd met her new GCSE chemistry teacher she came home and told me she hated her, she was strict, shouty, and sarcastic
.
All she talked about for weeks was how much she hated her and she didn't know how long she could stand it.

As the time passed I noticed she was complaining less about her but had started repeating things that "Miss" had told her.

By the end of the course she was saying she was an excellent teacher who really cared about the students.

I took her in last month to collect her results, she did amazingly and managed to exceed her expected grade by two grades and according to Dd this was all due to the teacher.

When we collected the results her chemistry teacher came up to Dd to find out her result and was over the moon for her, gave her a big cuddle and told her how proud she was of her.

So basically what I'm saying is first impressions can be wrong just give it a bit of time

Reassure your daughter that she is a good girl and this teacher should come to recognise this. Even if this super strict teacher gives her a negative or a sanction you absolutely won't be upset with her because you know how conscientious she is and some teachers are just grumpy. This should help her feel less anxious.

I'm a teacher and totally get what you are saying. I don't have behaviour issues but I can manage behaviour without scaring the kids into submission. I listened to a colleague bore a new class shitless with a 40 minute lecture on her expectations, I had to move rooms so I couldn't hear them.

I have 3 year 7 classes and will be half term before I learn all the names - child is a gender neutral way to address a child (and yes this is an issue).

I have probably rolled my eyes after the 20th child in class asked if they could remove their blazer - I had told the whole class they could. Should I underline the title?. Do I write this in my book? What is the date (big letters on board). Takes a huge amount of patience and we have to be strict.

If your child feels unsettled speak to the head of year.

That would rather depend on the question.

Miss, how do you factorise this? Would not warrant an eye roll.

Miss, is it nearly lunchtime yet? Much more likely to.

Kids also need to learn to shut up and listen to the teacher, rather than gobbing off. It’s a short sharp lesson in the first few weeks.

There is good reason many teachers work using the ‘don’t let them see you smile until
Christmas’ method.

I would speak to her head of year and explain what is happening and ask for a solution. It may be a change of class, but could also be a word in the teacher's ear to go easy on year 7s, or a chat between your daughter and the teacher who helps her understand her bark is worse than her bite. If none of that works, I hate to say it but get her a maths tutor this year so she doesn't fall behind. (I say this because if she is afraid to ask for help, she may get into a bit of a pickle). I would also talk to your daughter about not letting one bad apple spoil her year 7 experience. Maths teachers are hard to recruit and the quality varies. Throughout secondary my daughter had some great ones, but also an horrendous one who sounds similar and also refused to help students who couldn't do the work if they had talked in the lesson - even if they were asking a friend for help. I spent quite a bit of time with senior members of staff that year. I also got her a tutor. It all turned out well in the end.

Teachers often go in a bit tough with year 7 to set expectations. Believe me, if you lose control of a class early on, you’re in for a nightmare.

Tell your daughter to keep her head down and work hard.

I was terrified of loads of teachers when I went into year 7. It was a big shock from our friendly primary teachers, but I figured it was part of secondary and I got used to it. After a few months, I realised they were decent teachers, but this wasn’t primary anymore and sometimes teachers were more strict.
She’ll be fine. Don’t mollycoddle her too much, she needs to get used to different types of teaching and different teaching personalities.

You think all the children on the first lesson were asking inane questions? Of course I’m not referring to the latter, but if children are asking questions relevant to the subject, lesson or the school they don’t warrant being rewarded with an eye roll.

Also there is a difference between being firm and in control and being a wanker.

Lots of children in the first maths lesson ask
inane questions.

Usually it is because they are terrified of getting it wrong but by the fifth time someone asks "do I have to underline the title" you need the patience of a saint not to show any annoyance.

Types of questions you get asked;

Can I use a pen?
What colour pen can I use?
(Follow up from 20 children asking you to check their choice of colour - all shades of blue)
Can I use a pencil (this person is now worried they have to use a pen)
Do I need a ruler?
Can I borrow a ruler?
Can I get out of my seat to borrow a ruler from my friend?
Can I go to the French lesson to borrow a ruler from my friend (NO!)

Etc etc

Were you in my lesson today ???
Think my eyes rolled out the back of my head at one point ?

The expectation from secondary is different from primary.
At the parent evening when my dc was starting secondary, they've tod us that they do act really tough at the start of year 7.
Isn't that the case there too?

But tbh, it's silly that one strict teacher can stop a child from wanting to go to school.

Then it appears we agree.

In a case, I think the teacher is setting expectations and that it will prevent chaos by half term. I also think that she’s probably not rolling her eyes or sneering, as I know that kids misinterpret lots and often talk absolute shite. I think that the OP needs to tell her DD to keep her head down and see how things pan out.

So fucking glad I home ed my kids. Jesus.

This was the same advice I gave, to give it time, but I do believe that if a teacher dismisses questions that are relevant or belittles kids who ask questions, even if they seem silly that are relevant to the lesson or subject then they’re wrong and that needs to be addressed.

You need to let your daughter work it out on her own. This is secondary school. If she is "terrified" at this, she needs to learn resilience. your stepping in won't help her to learn this.
Also, there is a recruitment crisis for secondary maths teachers nationally, so, whether or not this is your "ideal" style of teacher for your daughter, it is far better for her to have the consistency of one terrifying subject specialist than 5 or 6 different non-specialist teachers.
The teacher may have had horrific behaviour last year and just be trying to avoid having furniture thrown at her/be spat on/sworn at/hit. Obviously this is not your daughter's fault, but I think you need this perspective too.

Speak to the Head of Year if she still feels like this by the end of next week.

Also the teacher may currently.call then all "child" because they are learning people's names. It's taken me 3 days with my primary school class to learn 28 children's names off by heart, and that's being together the whole day. Depending kn the size of the secondaryschool, the teacher will have come across up to 120 new pupils this week for an hour or two tops. Some teachers just take longer to learn names.
She does sound scary but it's life.

My son had similar with an English teacher in y8, but like other's experience, after a few weeks I think they were less strict (after setting the ground rules) and my son had started to like them. By the end of school year he really liked them and his English improved significantly over that year.

If it were my DD I’d tell her that she best pay attention to her teachers expectations, keep her head down, do the work. I don’t blame any teacher for scaring the living daylights out of their pupils from the start. We had some horrible lessons where teachers were bullied by students at my school, one had a total breakdown, it was horrific and the children involved should have been suspended tbh.

It’s a good thing for your DD to be in an environment where the teacher is actually in control of the class.