Is Westminster School the best school on Earth? STATESMOM returns

[statesmom]

I have a lot to say, don't know if anyone remembers the thread. Let me know if you want to hear from me.

I went to a grammar school and many of the girls whose parents had paid for them to have a private primary education and tutoring in order to gain a place at our school later struggled, because they weren't naturally as academic as those who had been able to pass the tests required without specific training to do so.

Lots of the privately educated girls were tutored to specifically pass the exam, rather than being able to do so by genuinely understanding and being able to apply the concepts required to pass it.

Did you not worry that your son needed so much external support over the years that you might be putting him in a situation where the expectations placed on him could have had a massively negative effect on his mental health? Or that requiring so much external support perhaps means that he wasn't suited to your plans for him?

sorry I was looking at the higher grades. I missed that the KCS grades for English and French were further across

I wasn't talking about the 1950s. Nor were you?
It's 2024, the "high powered lawyer" could be a woman.

Sure. I'll repost it for you. Not anxious, really just concerned that he seems to have been forced into a position where he's swimming out of his depth? And Charles Murray, really? How embarrassing for you.

Repost:

Lol. My husband and I pretty much killed ourselves in those industries for years so that our kids don't have to. They'll inherit enough to have been able to value education for its own sake and be able to do jobs they love and/or are rewarding in other ways.

Also, aren't you concerned that your son needed quite so much, um, assistance, to get an ivy league place? I have three kids, all went to a highly regarded London private, no extra assistance other than a little SAT/ACT prep, they're good kids, general all-rounders, but not elite athletes or anything, and between them they did very well. One got into 2 ivies and Oxbridge, went Oxbridge, one got 3 ivies and Oxbridge, went ivy, and one applied early decision to a NESCAC liberal arts and went there. Of the three of them, the small liberal arts was by far the best educational experience. If I were doing it again, I'd encourage that for all three.

There are some serious things to be said about UK vs US educations and quality of life, but OP isn't saying them.

@statesmom

No, it is not obvious, and it's a relatively new phenomenon as women's opportunities for education and work have become equal to men's.

In the 1950s the doctor married the nurse (and yes people, the doc was a man).

Today the (male) orthopedic surgeon marries the (female) OBGYN.

I personally think it really is obvious to most people that people tend to marry within their socioeconomic class in the modern world.

You say relatively recent but there's quite a gap between the 1950s and now!

This is called social engineering to adapt the social barometer.

I said this about a billion pages back but I can't resist saying it again 😂
5 years time that poor lad will be living off grid in a shack in Wyoming raising goats having run dramatically and hysterically from his final exams.

I am sure those Eton, Winchester and Radley boys are rather jealous of those parties rather than being locked up like monks until they are 18. I know some parents have mentioned that to me of their boy at Eton. Missing out on mixing with girls, impossible to get to London parties that their old prep school friends are having etc. Westminster was never a full boarding school. It’s always been for Town boys and College boys. How could it be with London all around? I think it’s normal for 16/17/18 year olds to have a real relationship so how is that possible at a full boarding school?. It really isn’t. I think it depends on the boy, of course.

Hmm I wonder where you get the idea that he is out of his depth seeing as you don't know him?

He got all 9s in GCSE, 4 A* and a 1590 on his SAT.

He has a 3.87 GPA with two majors and was on two national teams here in the UK (I will not post what they were because there do seem to be some slightly deranged people on here whow would doubtless look him up).

Out of 10,000 people who applied to Citi IB, he was one of the 90 hired.

So, I guess if you think because I hired a tutor for him 8 years ago, or hired a college consultant to guide us through the process that makes him out of his depth, OK!

There is so much personal animosity on this thread because many people cannot afford, and cannot achieve, certain things in life. Deal with it.

Missing out on mixing with girls, impossible to get to London parties that their old prep school friends are having etc.

Whatevers really? That wasn’t the experience my ds and his friends had. Plenty of weekends and all the holidays for parties - surely few day students have parties during the week during term time?

These types of posts are my favorite. The insecurity just shouts out. "Yeah, OK, your son has achieved things that my children couldn't dream of, but I bet he's not happy!!!!"

People believe these things as a self-protection mechanism. You know, just because my son went to Westminster and an Ivy doesn't mean he's unhappy, in fact one would assume at first blush just the opposite.

In any case, I would bet a monkey to a mousetrap that my boy is better grounded, more mature, happier and more secure in himself than the vast majority of men his age. And that includes the progeny of people who post on mumsnet.

There is so much personal animosity on this thread because many people cannot afford, and cannot achieve, certain things in life. Deal with it.

Some people haven't had to pay for those certain things.

Some people don't want those certain things.

Deal with it 🤷🏻‍♀️

If so many respond to you in the way they have OP, don't you ever wonder if there might be an issue with your communication style rather than them all simply being jealous of you?

So, you read my reply but apparently were unable to understand or absorb it. That's fine and pretty much what I would expect having read your posts.

You said:
That I had to spend so much ca$h on a consultant really peeved me off. But they got the goods and I'd happily pay it again. Thank goodness we could afford it. But they did provide years long guidance so I guess 5 figures can be expensed over time!!!!!!!!!

I was a little sad for you that your kid needed that when so many others (including mine) were able to get in without it.

Also, your general tone and overuse of punctuation doesn't exactly create the impression I think you might want to?

Oh, and back when I worked there (out of uni before I went to law school) we called it Shitibank and it wasn't just because it was a cute name. Hope things have improved. 😂

Jeez! Is there no end to the boasting. How awful this failing school couldn’t help in his start-bound trajectory,

@Arsenal4Ever Im not saying selection here is better or worse than USA. The point is, it’s the unis decision to make. Merit is viewed in their eyes.

Oh, you were a "little sad" that I hired a college consultant?

Perhaps he would have gotten in if we didn't hire one, but why not? What is the harm? They gave us advice and we took it. Yes it cost money but what is wrong with belts and braces?

They didn't take the SAT for him, you understand?

I hope you get over your sadness about my son't college application process.

Would I spend the $$$ on this person to maximize his chances again? You bet I would.

@statesmom ok I apologise about saying your son will end up off grid.
I was just having a bit of fun.
Actually I don't care what your son does with his life (as long as he doesn't become a serial killer or something).
I hope he enjoys his life.

OP you seem to think of yourself as pretty smart.

You've given unbelievably identifying information about your son on here, including his place of work.

I'm pretty sure nobody will give a toss enough to do anything with the information you've given but it's a pretty silly way to conduct yourself online.

It's one thing to potentially out yourself but doing it to your kid is selfish.

@statesmom by the way as this is UK based forum most of us won't really know what a good SAT score is or a good GPA is either.
It means nothing to most of us.

Anyone watching anything good on Netflix?

😂

OP do you think if your DS had gone to Harris Westminster, gotten the education for free but some similar teachers, gone to Oxbridge on the state school card, that he might also have ended up at Citi/Goldman Sachs whatever anyway?
There is not just one path for the tiger mom, you know. You need not pay up for it, at least not in the UK.

I think it's quite telling, OP, that when people disagree with your views, you attribute it to insecurity or jealousy.

As a previous poster noted, you have no idea what most of the posters on this thread do for a living, or where they and their children were educated. If you knew, you might have a few surprises.

Of course everyone wants their DC to be happy and successful. However, our world views differ because I also want my DC to value the idea of lending a hand to those members of society who are less privileged. To make the world a little bit less unjust. Your model of success is very solipsistic and centred on the individual. Global inequality doesn't seem to matter in your world view, as long as your DC has a secure place at the top of the ladder.

To me, that definition of success is shallow and a bit sad.

And yes, Charles Murray is a racist.

This thread is hilarious 😂