Y7 form change ?

[Dazedandcovidconfused]

My DD has struggled to make friends since starting secondary. (Had lots of lovely friends at primary) She’s doing really well academically but becoming unhappy because she feels she has no friends in her class, she’s with them the majority of the time (only streamed for one subject) so not much opportunity to make friends in other classes, and has had comments like no one likes you etc that are demoralising. I discussed with form tutor this week who was mainly focussed on finding out who has been saying unkind things to her. I get it but she doesn’t want make things worse by naming people, and also I’m not sure how focussing on them helps her directly. I think she’d benefit from a fresh start, in a class where she already knows a few girls, but would appreciate anyone’s experience or viewpoints, thanks!

You mentioned no contact from pastoral care. Have to asked or are you assuming? because a large state school to not have one would be viewed appallingly by ofsted. In fact any school without a key point for pastoral matters

i feel for her, i really do

Is she seeing her friends at break times at least? Do they know how unhappy she is?

Interesting, thank you.
HOY suggested a buddy, restorative conversations and a wellbeing room.
Don’t want to be too outing, pastoral care is within the broad remit of a certain team.

HOY suggested a buddy, restorative conversations and a wellbeing room.

I would need to have seen this given a good shot before i’d consider it not having helped and therefore a move (although hands tied in no space)

To me, this reads like the most helpful comment so far. Some kids won’t be like your daughter and be in tears every day to the teachers, but that’s not to say they won’t be suffering in silence and benefit from a move. In fact it’s those who are not in tears every day I would worry more about because they could be storing it all up inside.

I’ve commented on how both schools my kids go to are very different, but one thing they have in common is empathy for a child who is struggling and both schools have implemented moves when I have requested them. In my limited experience (of 2 secondaries) they were very happy to make these moves. I had some long chats with HoY about my eldest in year 7 and the HoY suggested the class change, not me, but actually we stuck with the original class as my daughter was too self conscious about moving, and it worked out for the best, but that’s not to say a move now won’t actually benefit your daughter. Do what feels right in your gut and I guarantee it will be the right course of action. x

Thank you I really appreciate your supportive words (and same goes for everyone who has offered supportive advice)

It’s a funny year. My Dd initially befriended the most troubled girls available (one asked for a beer at our house aged 11) then another group who were horribly unkind to her then no friends then by year 9 a lovely group. Early secondary can be abit of a “journey“ friendship wise but hopefully she will
get there.

Move the form if you can. I remember in year 7 being miserable because I didn’t get on with any of the folk in my form. I did become friendly with one girl in year 8 but only for a couple of terms (while her best friend was overseas). It was pretty crappy.
saving grace was that we were setted for most subjects so was only for a relatively short part of the day. There was a big mix up in year 9 and suddenly found a tight group of friends.
I was given the option in year 7, term 1, to move. I said no because I was that worried the same would happen in the new class. Wish I’d gone for it to be honest.
on the plus side, did very well academically. Just remember how crappy it was in the first year or so.