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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

May half term - holiday for child doing GCSEs

107 replies

Madamlulu · 23/10/2023 09:03

Hi

We normally go away May half term and next year my oldest child is doing his GCSEs so other parents have told me 'you can't go away'.

I totally get this and don't want to be a bad parent but I also love our holiday away. DS never studies. He is super creative and loves his art but finds all the other subjects challenging. We are dealing with this with him having extra study time at school and he does a homework club 4 days a week but at home he just never studies. I'm wondering if this might change in the run up but extremely doubtful.

AIBU to take my child away for a break in the middle of half term (and have a break myself)?

Any advise from parents who have been through the GCSEs would be so appreciated.. at the moment I'm feeling like everyone is telling me that life has to be on hold form Spring to June next year and that's fine but I also don't want to put too much pressure on my otherwise happy (but lazy) DS.

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
Original poster
Madamlulu · 23/10/2023 09:04

Sorry I meant in the middle of his GCSEs not in the middle of half term. We would go away for 6 or 7 nights x

OP posts:
PastTheGin · 23/10/2023 09:06

You can have a cheaper holiday in term time once he has finished!
A lot of students will do some last minute cramming, so I would definitely not take him on holiday in the GCSE half term.

Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky · 23/10/2023 09:06

It does go on hold but it's only for a few months - surely you need to plan for that as a parent?

If he needs extra study time then you should definitely not go away - school may even run sessions Easter and half term for those with lower predicted grades.

And if he does have a turnaround and want to study you will probably just stress him out by not being in a place where he can.

KateyCuckoo · 23/10/2023 09:07

PastTheGin · 23/10/2023 09:06

You can have a cheaper holiday in term time once he has finished!
A lot of students will do some last minute cramming, so I would definitely not take him on holiday in the GCSE half term.

What about her other children?

PastTheGin · 23/10/2023 09:08

KateyCuckoo · 23/10/2023 09:07

What about her other children?

Show quote history

No other children mentioned, as far as I can see.

Desecratedcoconut · 23/10/2023 09:08

Given the amount of airport disruption during that week, it seems a bit risky to roll the dice and hope you'll be back in time for exams.

AudiobookListener · 23/10/2023 09:09

Stay at home. Give him the chance to cram. Don't listen to anyone who tells you cramming doesn't work. Of course studying properly is much, much more effective. But last minute revision is way better than no revision at all. School might even be putting on classes.

PastTheGin · 23/10/2023 09:10

@KateyCuckoo It’s clearly too early for me, I see DS is the oldest child. Still a no for half term getaway from me.

Spacecowboys · 23/10/2023 09:11

No I wouldn’t go on holiday. If my teen was someone who doesn’t study at home , I would be sitting there with him to support / help him to do some revision. Of course it is better if teens are self motivated etc but if the difference is passing vs failing GCSEs, I would be a helicopter parent for a few months.

AudiobookListener · 23/10/2023 09:11

KateyCuckoo · 23/10/2023 09:07

What about her other children?

Show quote history

They suck it up for one year.

Saisong · 23/10/2023 09:12

One of mine did GCSEs this year just gone. We opted to do a 4 day city break at Easter rather than May. We chose Munich as they were studying German. It was actually lovely to get away from the pressure of studying for a few days.
I agree that by the half term things really ramp up for studying, so taking a longish break then wouldn't be advisable.

mondaytosunday · 23/10/2023 09:13

Well i certainly wouldn't go. Mid GCSEs and my kids were studying hard. My son not nearly as much as my daughter, but if he could go back in time he sure would!
How well is he likely to do with his current attitude to studying? What are his future goals? Even if choosing a creative field having at least five GCSEs is advisable. Will he go to a more vocational college after exams? What do they require?
He may well have a wake up call after mocks. But even if not I'd impose some sort of revision schedule and support him as much as possible with this. But going away seems a foolish idea at a very important stage in his life.

KateyCuckoo · 23/10/2023 09:13

AudiobookListener · 23/10/2023 09:11

They suck it up for one year.

Show quote history

Read the comment I quoted 🙄

EarthlyNightshade · 23/10/2023 09:15

Is Easter an option?
As May half term is mid exams, you won't get many actively recommending it.
Long weekend maybe?
If you do go and are flying, make sure you have a clear day (or two) between getting home and the next exam, travel chaos of some sort is a given that week.

KateyCuckoo · 23/10/2023 09:15

PastTheGin · 23/10/2023 09:10

@KateyCuckoo It’s clearly too early for me, I see DS is the oldest child. Still a no for half term getaway from me.

I agree, we didn't take ours away. We even have one doing gcse and one doing a level one year and still couldn't have a term time break due to having dc3 still in school.

DyslexicPoster · 23/10/2023 09:15

My second child is in year 11. I took him on holiday along and the end of summer for this reason. He doesn't even want a weekend away this half term due to mocks. It would be stressful for everyone

Spendonsend · 23/10/2023 09:15

My sons school had revision lessons during that half term so its worth checking whether your school does that kind of thing.

Original poster
Madamlulu · 23/10/2023 09:16

mondaytosunday · 23/10/2023 09:13

Well i certainly wouldn't go. Mid GCSEs and my kids were studying hard. My son not nearly as much as my daughter, but if he could go back in time he sure would!
How well is he likely to do with his current attitude to studying? What are his future goals? Even if choosing a creative field having at least five GCSEs is advisable. Will he go to a more vocational college after exams? What do they require?
He may well have a wake up call after mocks. But even if not I'd impose some sort of revision schedule and support him as much as possible with this. But going away seems a foolish idea at a very important stage in his life.

Well I'm happy for you that your kids studied hard. Sadly not the case with mine.

Attitude to studying - he doesn't want to fail but never studies independently.

Future goals - he doesn't have these atm, he's too immature to realise that he needs them.

OP posts:
PutKettleOn · 23/10/2023 09:17

No, don't do it. My DS did GCSEs this year.
He would 100% not have wanted to be away.
Even his most reluctant friends were properly studying immediately before exams and the half term week is so important to study for the exams after. If you do go, he'd need his laptop and somewhere quiet and with good Internet access for several hours a day but, like I say, my DS would not have wanted to go and it would have caused him huge stress.
You're giving the wrong message about how important it is to work and study if you do go.
We went after GCSEs (and saved £££).

Desecratedcoconut · 23/10/2023 09:17

My ds did GCSEs this summer and the Easter holiday was crammed with study sessions and catch up time to finish projects that were stalled by all the teacher strikes. He'd have been really disadvantaged if we'd gone on holiday during that break.

TripleDaisySummer · 23/10/2023 09:18

DS never studies. He is super creative and loves his art but finds all the other subjects challenging. We are dealing with this with him having extra study time at school and he does a homework club 4 days a week but at home he just never studies. I'm wondering if this might change in the run up but extremely doubtful.

There's likely to be a lot of messaging from the school about how important study is and they may start feeling pressure to get what they need for next step.

Plus if you go abroad any delays could have serious impact on getting to exams.

DSis took DN away for long weekend in UK - so driving -it was very stressful because the previous not concern child was stressed and not relaxing - plus school did put some study thing on for their kids- my DC school didn't -and DN suddenly felt she needed to go so they ended up coming back early.

We are in Wales so DS had finished a few GCSE and had marks for others but that half term week was still really important revision wise.

So personally I wouldn't go - if you have to stick to UK - and don't expect it to be usual fun filled relaxing experience as you could have a really stressed teen even if you think that's unlikely now.

Original poster
Madamlulu · 23/10/2023 09:21

Thanks for the advice. Good to hear that people are suggesting there might be extra study, I hadn't thought of that.

Also very true that he miraculously might decide to study and then we would be in a better place if we were home. I'm doubtful this will happen but will pray for this miracle.

He is currently just a happy but v immature end august birthday boy who doesn't realise that studying actually will help him. He does have dyslexia & adhd and I think in primary decided that education was too hard.

He is in an amazingly supportive school now and I think he will scrape by with their support but only just.

He does have my support and I try very hard to sit with him and work but he will not let me. It causes a lot of tension and so I unfortunately have had to move away from this approach and support him in other ways other than trying to sit and get him to learn.

OP posts:
Original poster
Madamlulu · 23/10/2023 09:22

Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky · 23/10/2023 09:06

It does go on hold but it's only for a few months - surely you need to plan for that as a parent?

If he needs extra study time then you should definitely not go away - school may even run sessions Easter and half term for those with lower predicted grades.

And if he does have a turnaround and want to study you will probably just stress him out by not being in a place where he can.

I am planning for this as a parent, hence my post.. I was asking for advice here.

OP posts:
TripleDaisySummer · 23/10/2023 09:23

Attitude to studying - he doesn't want to fail but never studies independently.

Future goals - he doesn't have these atm, he's too immature to realise that he needs them.

Okay well then school study session may be even more important to him - plus by then everyone else will have applied for post 16 stuff so he will likely be thinking about it.

DN wasn't thinking this time last year - DS was - but she went to a college open day I think just before easter and that was it she suddenly had a preferred plan which needed certain grades.

A break at Easter might be easier this year is you can't put it to after the exams.

PastTheGin · 23/10/2023 09:26

Your way of thinking is setting him up to fail, OP. If he is too immature to realise how important his GCSEs are then you need to step in as the parent and make them a priority.
What kind of message will a half term holiday send? We don’t care about your results? You are going to fail anyway? We don’t support you? What about your other children, how will that make them view the importance of GCSEs?