May half term - holiday for child doing GCSEs

[Madamlulu]

Hi

We normally go away May half term and next year my oldest child is doing his GCSEs so other parents have told me 'you can't go away'.

I totally get this and don't want to be a bad parent but I also love our holiday away. DS never studies. He is super creative and loves his art but finds all the other subjects challenging. We are dealing with this with him having extra study time at school and he does a homework club 4 days a week but at home he just never studies. I'm wondering if this might change in the run up but extremely doubtful.

AIBU to take my child away for a break in the middle of half term (and have a break myself)?

Any advise from parents who have been through the GCSEs would be so appreciated.. at the moment I'm feeling like everyone is telling me that life has to be on hold form Spring to June next year and that's fine but I also don't want to put too much pressure on my otherwise happy (but lazy) DS.

Thanks in advance x

I have ADHD and struggle revising independently but I can cram overnight like nothing else and it really works for me as I struggle with focus then hyper focus under stress to point of burnout. But for around my gcses and a levels I still went in to school every day. I needed the structure and keeping my usual routine stopped me spiraling. A few friends would come in with me and sit in school library and it was good that teachers were on hand if we had questions about the work or just to be supportive.
Just thought I'd let you know what helped me as it might work for your son too

A lot of posters there will have young kids still - or believe it is easy to re-take if they mess up GCSE because it used to be.

Where we are there really only English Lan and maths GCSE retakes - though there are lots of other courses. I don't think GCSE are everything but having the min - 5 good grades including English and maths does mean there are more options than if they don't have them.

No, I wouldn't go away. Last year, when my son was doing his GCSEs, I took a few days and helped him revise as much as I could. We both would have preferred to be on holiday, but he passed his exams.

That's true. It used to be fairly easy to do GCSE retakes. My local college offered a wide range of GCSE retake subjects.

Now the only option is do enrol onto a Level 2 vocational course at college (btec or similar) alongside retaking maths & English only.

I would have a weekend away perhaps at the start of May half term as it is important to have a break in revision. However I wouldn't go away for the full week and I'd be insisting on a proper revision schedule the rest of the time.

The thing is he hasn't sat any year 11 mocks yet which can be the absolute kick up the arse they need if they are not putting in any effort now. Hopefully he has November mocks to give him time to turn this around.

Does he know what he wants to do next? A levels? If his grades are 4s and 5s then A levels will be too difficult for him. What is on offer locally? What is his plan B if he doesn't get the grades he needs for his next step? Resits are not available if you get lots of 4s. Schools may let you resit to increase a grade for maths or English language if you have passed with a lower grade than expected but that needs to be agreed with the college. For some uni courses you need 6s in maths or English language.

May half term should be used for revision for the remaining exams. There was no support in May for mine, only the first week of Easter holidays. GCSEs are full on, Ds had 10 exams before half term, which were over a 2 week period then 14 exams after half term over 3 weeks.

I also always used to go away in may half term. Around exam times I didn't though as too disruptive. I think try get away in April instead maybe

I think you've had a hard time here, but it's also an 'I wouldn't' from me. We went away in the Easter holidays before DD's GCSEs and even that seems to be fairly unusual among her peers. I wouldn't plan to go away for much of Easter with my younger kids during the holidays based on what I know of what their approach to the exams is likely to be. I think a short break at Easter would be a good thing for pretty much anyone though.
With a kid who needs help with motivation and organisation (I think I have one who will be like this during GCSEs), I would definitely want them to be around to be able to access any extra sessions that school may offer. (Was happy to miss them with DD as she was doing the work anyway.) I've also known kids who were still pretty laid back at this point in Y11 have a real turnaround in the Spring, and if your son does turn out to be one of those kids, I think you'd want to support that.
As others have said, if he's your only school-age child, the bit in early July where they've finished but it's not the summer holidays proper would be a great time to go away.

I agree you're getting a hard time here but I'd also say no.

Dd1 is y11 and has worked so hard already this year. She's said no to a couple of days away in the UK in February half term and there's no way she would want to go anywhere in May. You might 'normally' go away in May but this isn't going to be a normal year.

By next May half term he will have done at least one set of y11 mocks, finished the curricula for all his subjects, will likely have had lots of after school, Saturday and holiday study sessions, will have been involved in dozens of conversations about predictions, college and 6th form applications, apprenticeship applications etc., will have done many past papers in his ordinary lessons and will be 6 months older. Additionally he will have had 2 weeks of real GCSE exams and will know the feeling of trying to answer a question you haven’t revised for, and acing a question that you had revised for. I wouldn’t put money on him still being massively immature and not connecting work and results. Even if he is I still think it’s the parents job to be supportive rather than decide that he was immature in y10 so didn’t deserve the best shot in y11.

There will be study sessions during the Easter holidays and the students may be expected to be in school until their last exam is over. There will probably be something during half term too.

You never know, as the time gets nearer and he sees what others are doing in terms of study, he may get motivated to do something himself. There will certainly be encouragement from the school to make the effort.

I agree about mocks. For many, it’s what they need to realise this is serious and they need to get themselves in gear.

The school might hold half term revision / study sessions. Lots do. It sounds as if he responds to school led study.

At exam stage ours often git together in groups at the library to revise. Would he do that?

Thanks for those who have taken time to reply and for those who have been supportive and giving advice and not judging.

I absolutely appreciate every one of you who have said don't go (which I think is everyone). I absolutely don't mind and asked for this advice and appreciate it. The advice was asked for xx

I wouldn't go. It's right in the middle of the GCSE exams. Even if he doesn't normally do much at home, he may want to try to revise, especially if the first few exams he's done before the half term didn't go well - it may be the kick up the bum that he needs! You may also find that the school will be emphasising revision and doing revision classes etc before/after the Easter break which may get him motivated!

Yes, I know you'll be annoyed if he just sits around all half term playing on his Xbox, when you "could have been" all on holiday, but it's grossly unfair to take away any opportunity for him to do some revision.

And as others have said, much higher risk of being delayed by the busy airports etc during half term, and increased risk of missing any exams in the first day or two of when you were due back!

Echoing the chorus of those who say, don’t go away May half term. I’m sorry you are getting a hard time but now (rather than next May) is a good time to know that this is a bad idea!

I recall a story, last year I think, about airport chaos and a family outraged at the hoops they were going to have to jump through to get their son home for his maths GCSE – they had planned a flight home the night before the exam (flight was then cancelled) which I found breathtakingly foolish. Not saying you were planning that @Madamlulu !

All my DC found that there were subjects or at least exams after half term that they basically shelved at the end of April – “I’ll work on the last bits for those in half term” – for example for DS2 this was history IIRC. The immense number of exams every week (he had 10 in the first week) meant that this took the pressure off a bit. And it meant he was very busy with that work in May half term.

If you’re away (you don’t say what kind of holiday tbf) it’s much harder to get any work done, even if you can take any revision guides and notes with you (which may not even be possible if flying and limited on space).

Suggest a few days at Easter instead maybe – but as others say, check any Easter revision sessions in school.

And if he is not keen to revise – I hear you on that. There are lots of great threads on this board offering advice on different ways to revise. Just sitting looking at books doesn’t help everyone. With my DS1 I used to take him for a walk and we would go through a past paper I had printed out as we went. It was really helpful for him just to talk through some possible answers – or even for him to explain to me. I know you say he won’t let you help but please continue to offer, supportively. You say he doesn’t or won’t study – but he has not yet been (or seen anyone) in mid-GCSE yet – you may find that changes dramatically next spring.

I agree with those suggesting looking at post-16 steps actually – this may really motivate him and you need to be loking now (if you haven't already - it;'s not clear). What are his currect PGs? What might they lead to? – A levels? BTEC? College course with a practical aspect? He may find somethign that inspries him.

One thing I don't think you have addressed, but I will reiterate is the issue of being stuck somewhere so he can't actually sit one or more of his exams. This would be incredibly stressful for everyone, and is another reason to avoid going away in the half term!

I think it's important you try and come up with a goal for him. If he is creative, what about doing an art based BTEC at college? If he has a goal in mind, and knows he needs e.g. 4 grade 5s, or grade 5 English and maths to get there, that might help motivate him.

It is also amazing how much some students grow up in Y11.

Hi

Exams finish mid June which is just over a month away from half term.

Personally I would wait but you know your child ...

My dd is very lazy but to be honest she did the most amount of work during that week- since she didn't think she did that great in paper 1s for her exams ( prior to May half term) and completely changed her out look for the next set of exams and did really well.

Unfortunately they don't know any better - so I think the decision is whether you would regret this and mentally could he wait till June knowing that you had booked something.

Wishing your dc the best of luck!

My eldest just did GCSEs...I think it's a really bad idea to be away that May half term week. Even if your DS dislikes studying, he's going to struggle even more if he's away from his usual routine/environment - it's so hard to get anything done in a holiday setting, let alone knuckle to revision! To be blunt, you'd be lessening his chances even further.

There's also the risk that you get stranded somewhere as others have said - massively stressful for all concerned.

I love holidays too - but this is ONE year that affects the course of your son's life, to an extent - how well he does at GCSE determines which A-levels, which in turn determines what uni/degree, which determines one's career etc etc!

Unfortunately this is a sacrifice you will need to make for your son's sake. If you go you are saying that your holiday is more important than his GCSE's and therefore why should he bother.

If you don't go then that sends him the message that this is a really important time for him to focus on last minute revision and he may take heed.

I have a year 11 and a year 13 and between them we have 5 sets of exams between now and the end of June all at different times so no holidays for us until July now so I feel your pain.

Joining the chorus of "I wouldn't". If he's ever going to work, that week is the likeliest time. We are in the 6th (and last) consecutive year of formal exams (or covid assessments) and have been away in Feb a couple of times as a last hurrah. After DS's GCSEs we went away straight after exams, just the two of us as we had a younger one still in school. A very nice long weekend in Anglesey iirc. Haven't done that yet with DD but planning on Salzburg for all things Sound of Music straight after her A levels next summer.

No. It's right in the middle of exams. It's very different when it's the real exams, not mocks.

Agree with the posters who point out that there may be extensive revision and booster sessions over May (and Easter). Most decent schools offer this.

Your son clearly can commit to structured sessions provided by school since he attends homework club 4x a week, so you'd be a bit mad to let him miss it. Might be his saving grace.

He may actually study nearer the time. Please don't drag him away, just wait a few weeks. My DD's school ran revision classes in half term

We went for a week in Majorca during May half term when Dd1 did her GCSEs. She sat and revised in the sunshine by the pool in between us heading out to explore, eat out. It was a lovely relaxing break away for her.

It sounds to me like you need to support your child and help them study.

Like you we always went away this half term but didn't when my eldest did her GCSEs and won't when her sibling is in Y11.

They need the time to revise, have study club and school and just be able to crack on. Hopefully your school will show you how best to support your child so you can help them achieve their potential