May half term - holiday for child doing GCSEs

[Madamlulu]

Hi

We normally go away May half term and next year my oldest child is doing his GCSEs so other parents have told me 'you can't go away'.

I totally get this and don't want to be a bad parent but I also love our holiday away. DS never studies. He is super creative and loves his art but finds all the other subjects challenging. We are dealing with this with him having extra study time at school and he does a homework club 4 days a week but at home he just never studies. I'm wondering if this might change in the run up but extremely doubtful.

AIBU to take my child away for a break in the middle of half term (and have a break myself)?

Any advise from parents who have been through the GCSEs would be so appreciated.. at the moment I'm feeling like everyone is telling me that life has to be on hold form Spring to June next year and that's fine but I also don't want to put too much pressure on my otherwise happy (but lazy) DS.

Thanks in advance x

No don’t do this, go in the summer when he’s finished. If my
parents had done this to me I’d think they were being horribly selfish.
it’s stressful. He may actually study - don’t give up!

Good question op I have been wondering about this too.
We will have GCSEs / A levels every year for a lot of years - dc are currently in years 11,10,9 and 7 🤦🏽‍♀️

Thanks for the judgement.. I was asking for advise about whether this was a bad idea or not. Your message is clear.

My DS was a bit like this in year 9 and 10. But now in Year 11 he is working really hard. I wouldn't go away in May. Too risky. And just because he doesn't study doesn't mean he wont feel he needs to cram when the exams become reality. He may end up going away and panicking anyway about the exams and ruining his holiday. You could miss one week away in his life. Is there any way you can take just him and leave the other children with a parent as a reward for working hard? I am doing this with my DS. The younger one wants to go on a school trip, so hes not that bothered.

No.

I'd stick pretty local in that half-term. I think the most exciting thing we did was go and stay with granny (who lived by the sea)

And yy to a post-exam holiday. Before schools break up if poss (cheaper) and definitely before results (because you love them however they did on paper)

My DD was a diligent reviser and was revising throughout y10 and y11. I thought a break away in the half term would benefit her and so I offered. She said no. Categorically, no. Her friends - all revised in very different ways - all said no to their parents. They just aren't in a place to enjoy it.

We went away after she'd finished her exams instead.

That's a good idea - thanks Angry Cat x

Obviously yabu, massively so. If you book a holiday you are basically saying ‘we know you won’t revise, but it doesn’t matter, you can have a lovely holiday instead’. Appalling messaging. What you need to do is tell him that he needs to work hard, like everyone else, it isn’t meant to be fun. You offer bribes and sanctions-stick and carrot. You act like a parent. Short term pain long term gain. If he says that his friends aren’t working explain people often say that because they think it’s not ‘cool’ to work but it doesn’t mean it’s true.

My daughter didn't even want to go to a family wedding in this country for 2 days at the weekend during half term! (Mind you ds would not have cared).

I absolutely would not go abroad. Flights are unreliable. A couple of days away in this country for a break, perhaps yes.

If covid hadn't impacted exams we'd have had 7 years of formal exams - as Wales has Y10 GCSE exams and Y12 As level as well.

There were revision session at college for As and A level exams - depended on the teacher.

I was thinking next year end of GCSE for youngest and end of A-levels for middle might be a good time for an early holiday - but DS had summer schools and college open days in that time - so don't know might have to wait another two years.

I'd look at Easter break but even there may be revision sessions on or stick to six weeks which are more expensive.

Why would you even think this? GCSE’s are just horribly stressful.

Another reason not to go on holiday is so that if he does badly, it will be crystal clear whose faults it is 😀. I hope that doesn't happen though and wish him all the best.

Whilst your dc never studies maybe he'll go to a GCSE boot camp over the half term with other kids.

If he's your only school age child you can go on holidays once the exams are over in June and the price will be a lot cheaper.

Because it's 30 years almost since I did them. Hence asking for advice.

I see even thinking of this has made some people think social services should be called as I'm such a BAD parent.. hey thanks Sisters!

Attitude to studying - he doesn't want to fail but never studies independently.

Future goals - he doesn't have these atm, he's too immature to realise that he needs them.

OP, read what you have written: you have written him off six months before GCSE season even begins. This is so sad and so self-fulfilling.

Even if he doesn't end up studying, you still have a responsibility as his parent to provide optimum conditions for doing well in those exams and being able to move on to whatever he wants to do afterwards. Imagine when he only scrapes a couple of GCSEs and ends up saying that he could have done better if he'd had more encouragement from home to pull his finger out, or more study time and less distractions.

When he sees others working and school really start putting the pressure on, he may decide to work. If you've then got a holiday booked it will cause all kinds of stress.

Or maybe he won't do any work as you say, but he'll still be able to blame you for bad results because you took him on holiday the middle.

I think it's a really bad idea. Could you compromise on a few days away at Easter (find out about revision sessions first) or even a just a couple of nights in this country if you must go away in half term itself.

Why would you even think this? GCSE’s are just horribly stressful.

Because it's her eldest and she hasn't been though it all yet.

Now would be about the right time to look at next steps - college open days and course requirements - as that does tend to focus their minds.

Tbh no you shouldn't take him away and the fact that you don't know this is a bit off. You say he won't study as he is lazy. Isn't it down to you to change that or to at least have an expectation that he will work? How will he get qualifications or jobs that he wants if he doesn't change that approach? Why has he got to year 11 and still can't do his homework at home?

Have you a timetable already for all the dates of his exams? Either way I wouldn't go, if he completely tanks them you'll blame yourself and he'll take no responsibility for his lack of revision

No we won't be going away summer half term because of GCSEs.

I think you'll find that even the most relaxed students get a bit swept up into exam season.

We might book a long weekend in July.

Another saying no - we have given up on May holidays and restricted Easter ones, several consecutive years of y10 exams, GCSEs, Y12 exams (predicted grades for uni) and A levels. We just have a family holiday in the summer now with one at college and one at uni and maybe a couple of days away at Easter.

People are being unnecessarily harsh, it's not easy having a 15 year old who won't study (been there). However, there's months to go, the school will be pushing the revision, and you need to reinforce the message that studying is a good idea by not having a holiday mid exams.

I also think if you had posted in chat rather than secondary, loads more people would be telling you to go.

My DS also has dyslexia (and may have ADHD). Like your child, he struggles with independent study. The strategy we have taken is to study with him. PM if I can share any of the things that have worked for us. If he can't study the way his peers are doing, the trick is to find a way that he can do it.

I would never take my kids away in the middle of such an important point in their lives to date.
Staying home shows him you’re serious and these exams are serious and that you expect him to make them a priority. A break at Easter would be ok I think. I’d even agree to 2 or 3 nights away in May but not for 7/8 days!

My DS went from doing the bare minimum amount of study in Y9 to caring hugely about his results by the end of Y10. They can suddenly change and mature at that age. I would avoid the holiday so as not to deny him the opportunity to study should he want to by then