Daughter got out of school

[Mumlou13]

My daughter has also walked out of school today and the school didn't even know until I phoned them, as she had rang me to pick her up. She has autism and is in secondary school. She had walked about 15 mins away from school before she rang me upset and scared. The school still haven't rang me back to discuss this I have been waiting all day, does anyone have the best advice on how I can deal with this as a massive complaint so that they know the seriousness of it because obviously they aren't bothered

As previous posters have said unless it’s a specialist school then anyone can walk in and out of secondary school.

We used to bunk off after dinner and miss last period and just walk out.

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Same at our secondary school.
I also thought it was pretty standard

They certainly can at ours as there are no fences and there are a couple of private businesses sharing the school site so people coming and going all the time. Lots of secondary schools have buildings scattered around - a couple of our local ones pupils have to cross over to the other side of the road to other buildings between classes. Another has multiple footpaths and bridleways across the school grounds so lots of walkers, horse riders, cyclists etc.

If a kid has a legitimate reason to leave, reception will radio to the person on the gate to tell them.

Some secondary school pupils are eighteen (therefore not kids). If someone who is legally an adult wants to leave, surely they can't be prevented, whether or not they have what reception considers a legitimate reason?

A massive complaint??🤣🤣 they are not locked in like they are at primary school! We used to always bunk off lessons and it took them ages to phone parents. You need to be speaking to her about not leaving school without telling anyone! Absolutely nothing to do with the school, especially only after 15 mins! What a ridiculous thing to say!!

My last school only had a perimeter fence and gates about 2 years ago. Until that point it was very hard keep kids in and the public off site.

In secondary schools there is usually someone who monitors attendance each lesson and someone will come looking for missing students, obviously they look for more vulnerable or those with a risk assessment first. I do agree it's quite worrying that they didn't notice. I would contact the sendco and say you are concerned your dd could do this again and make sure she is flagged to be checked. Ask them what they do to monitor attendance during the day too? See what their response is. It might be they are apologetic, someone was waylaid with another emergency or they might be dismissive and unconcerned. If the latter then that is a safeguarding concern and ofsted would be worried about that sort of thing. When did they last get inspected?

@HonoriaLucastaDelagardie if an 18 year old student feels the need to randomly just walk out of school then they would probably let them out.
Personally though if I was the Head I wouldn't let them back in. 18 year olds don't have to be there if they don't want to be but by deciding to attend the school as a student they will have agreed to follow the rules. If they don't respect that then they shouldn't be there.
The same as any adult in a work place. Yes you can just walk out - but you would most likely be fired

Firstly an autistic child who probably has a Sen plan or ehcp should not be lumped in with nt kids. My ds has asd and global development delay. He's in mainstream, he's 9 but his behaviour/social/emotional is more like a 5 year old. Thought processes are not the same and they are significantly more vulnerable. So absolutely the school should have provision in place to safe guard the child and if they can not meet need they need to inform the local authority so alternative provision can be arranged.

Secondly my dd secondary had locked dooors and anyone leaving had to sign out at reception then be buzzed out. If either of my dd had gone missing at 11 I would have been mightily pissed

This. It's infuriating and terribly boring at the same time - a tiresome mix.

I disagree with all pp if the doors aren't checked by eg a reception who keeps track of everyone going in and out during lesson hours then it also means an intruder could get it! Perhaps by tailgating dd. It's a massive safeguarding risk there are many children with additional needs in mainstream schools , it's not just special or primary schools that need to keep a close eye on their exits

she was probably overwhelmed rather than bunking off

Some secondary schools cannot fully secure their sites, because there are public rights of way through them. The only option to secure the full site at a previous school I worked at would be to lose over 50% of the playground. In an already crowded school, that is not a desirable option.

Equally, my last school was fenced about 3-4 years ago, but there are still a few ways a determined child could leave (through sixth form common room, via the sensory garden, climb the fence in certain places). That school also had an issue with internal truancy post covid- every lesson there would be at least 3-4 kids not show up. It's not always the case of just looking for one student.

It sounds like a conversation needs to be had with the school about a plan for this, and perhaps an individual risk assessment.

Or you could make a "massive complaint" and get everyone's backs up, and they could retaliate by excluding your daughter?

Oh hahaha how hilarious, what a jape, what a funny thread!

Did you miss the fact that the child in question has autism and is therefore vulnerable? A missing early teen with SEN should actually be a cause for concern, it's not something to laugh at or about.

Some children with SEN don't have a great understanding of risk and danger, and can easily find themselves in dangerous situations; they think they get it, but they don't know what they don't know.

Coming from someone who has had to call the police to help find my vulnerable child twice this year, trust me I know.

The poster was implying that kids are normally required to have hall passes but having had 3 kids got to 4 different secondary schools none of then ever needed such a thing and were therefore free to move around the school without being questioned as suggested by the poster.

how old are your kids? It’s a very common thing in many schools. It doesn’t happen in my DC’s but i know it happens in many others. Issues around that have been raised on social media several times

No perimeter fence at my school. The school has one building that's on the other side of a public road, plus the sports ground is 5 minutes' walk away. It's in the centre of a small city. The actual doors into the buildings have a key code.

It would be easy for a student to walk out of school, and one of our students has done this recently. The school clocked this pretty quickly though, and found her.

Finished school now. But my point was that not all schools do issue hall passes so people can't assume what happens at their school happens in every school. I ama quote bemused that such a seemingly innocuous post has warranted 2 separate people tagging me personally to tell me off.

Best advice on how you can deal with it:
If your daughter cannot be trusted to stay in school then this is a huge safe guarding issue. Rather than think about who you can complain to, have you looked at all if you can do better?

Does she have an IEP? A statement? A dedicated teaching assistant to stay with her during break and lunch?
Have you considered a school that might be better able to accommodate her?
I ask this nicely as:

1. you can't expect all secondary children to be locked in
2. it's unreasonable to expect people to 'police' your daughter unless you have fought to get extra funding for this
3. who to complain to.., ? Maybe explain to your daughter first and foremost in no uncertain terms that this is unacceptable
4. look at what you can personally do to alleviate a very difficult situation for everyone in that school affected no doubt by your daughter. Get a statement for her and a TA. Complain to your local council, take them to court. There is so much here that you can and should do so about time you did.

Or supervise her yourself during lunch breaks?

Tax payers money can only go so far in what sadly is now, a poor country.

Why did you not walk her back to school? So you took her home and gave her a big hug then went on mumsnet for advice about which poor soul to blame!
She was upset - and it probably would have been almost impossible for you to bring her back I'm guessing? Or you went for an easy life. Daytime TV was beckoning.
So what are other people supposed to do exactly?

The set up of most secondaries is just not adequate or appropriate for vulnerable kids, such as with ‘significant’ autism, and yet the Local Authorities will be pushing for mainstream.

Sorry but 15 min would not be sufficient time to realise the child was missing, check they haven't been signed out for an appointment ,check the entire building and grounds , look through the cameras ( if your school has them ). It's not uncommon for the poor staff to be frantically looking round a school for a child who is later found hiding in the toilets.

My DC's school doesn't have fences etc. it would be perfectly possible just to stroll out of school and no one would notice until the next registration.

If she doesn't have a 1-1, or is flagged as a risk for leaving with an appropriate plan in place, this is your daughter's responsibility. 15 minutes is not long, and most times a child not being present for a class isn't going to be automatically noticed at the beginning of the lesson.

Last year my autistic son left school a few times. There aren't any locked gates and he is high functioning enough to not need constant monitoring. If school couldn't find him they would phone me and I could see where he was from the location app on my phone. Obviously they were very worried and a lot of talks were had and he stopped doing it thankfully.

People saying ‘oh so many people don’t understand autisim’, don’t understand autism themselves.

We have no clue, if the child has a 1-2-1. No idea if the child requires much above anything an NT child needs.

Children with autism are all different. My son is autistic, if he walked out of secondary school during the day he would absolutely know what he was doing. He wouldn’t have left because he couldn’t help it or didn’t understand. He doesn’t need to be locked in anywhere.

Not all children with autism are the same and we have very little detail here. We can’t say wether they should or shouldn’t have noticed within 15 mins. Can’t say wether the child needs the ehcp redoing. And so on.

It may shock someone people, but sometimes autistic kids also do things for the same reasons NT kids do. Sometimes they bunk off because they just don’t want to go. Not everything all autistic kids do is a trauma response or processing issue or sensory overload related.

If the child is allocated a 121, who should be providing constant supervision, then yes a complaint should be put in.

If the child is autistic, but usually independent and doesn’t require supervision and can make decisions for themselves and understands what they did, then a complaint is pointless. A school won’t start locking in all students because of one.

If the child fled the school due to an autistic meltdown, op needs to speak to the school and try and figure out why and what can be done to avoid it.