Year 10 - 2023/2024 Support Thread

[QueenMabby]

Hi all

A new thread for those needing support (or just wanting to chat or rant!) with teens heading into their GCSE years.

Crikey they’re amazing results @QueenMabby

@SuperSue77 my DD sees friends outside of school a bit but not regularly and she doesn’t really any activities any more where she would see friends. She does connect with them most evenings/weekends though on FaceTime or Snapchat etc so I think she socialising in her own way. I do find that she is still making new friends (she joined her senior school in Year 9) as classes have changed and via other friends, so I hope that potential is still there for your daughter too. One of my DD’s friend had a small group over for Halloween which included girls who she wanted to become friends with (they were friend of my DD and another, so it made some sense), would she like something like that?
My DD also has friends at school that she sees separately as well as together depending on the event. So all her friends aren’t in one group. That works well for individual interests (eg she went to see the Taylor Swift film with one who is a fan). So maybe start with someone she has a class with and gets on with in class?
Mostly, it’s whether she’s happy obviously. I myself joined an evening art class at 15/16 and had a great time with a couple of girls I would never see in school (they were there but it was a big school) so hobbies might work too. Hope this gives a couple of ideas.

@Oblomov23 good to hear that you’re feeling more informed about yous DS’s progress and that he has responded to your talk!

DD is doing tests all the time and she gets the results in percentages and grades but our report at half term gave predicted GCSE grades as they said different courses had different pathways so for some a grade 6 now might be on target for 7 but for others the grade now was also the predicted. It was very helpful (though the caveat was that the prediction could change 😬). So we’ll see what the Christmas one says.

We had an online parents evening, where they said they felt confident in their predictions and that she had a very good attitude and was a pleasure to have in class. It sounded nothing like the child that I drive home, moaning about everything, but I’m so pleased that she doesn’t give them that attitude too 😂.

DD is doing well, which is a relief as I am not well myself currently so have been hoping she is coping. Mind you, being prone to at the sight or sound of blood/needles, she passed out twice in chemistry last week, had to miss a dissection in biology, had to miss part of a video about animal slaughter in geography, and had to exit briefly from her Rainbows volunteering activity when the paramedic brought out needles. Luckily the little Rainbows all got their first aid badges last week and the topic has moved on to Christmas. What a week!

Hope everyone else's kids are coping with year 10. I think we're getting to the 'everything is too much' part of the winter term, which is probably worse when you're as far from home as my DD is.

She rang me in a sobbing snotty mess yesterday after a disaster of a chemistry exam., which actually seems to have gone slightly less disastrously for her than for others in her class, but still a fairly rubbish mark.

She hadn't covered the same topics in Year 9 as the kids who had been in the school up to now, and had to take it late as had a music test that had really stressed her out as well.

Then today i get joyous texts about her physics test, in which she got a 9. So it's very up and down - and of course so cold to be boarding in a school which is essentially medieval in many places. I'd quite like her home right now - though her matron definitely sorted her out with lots of toast and tea yesterday.

This term is so long, and she's so very busy - school play and a symphony orchestra concert on top of everything else. Thank heavens she gets three weeks for christmas!

Oh @minisnowballs - poor you and poor dd too! That must be so hard for you both when she's a boarder - sending an unmumsnetty virtual hug to you both. Glad the physics went well though.

We're the same here. Very up and down. Dd is stressed about her Greek which she's taking this year and also about the sciences which are her favourite subjects so she's keen to do well in those.

She's just completed her first piece of coursework (English Lit) which is good to get out of the way before Christmas.

Otherwise we're just ploughing on to the end of term. Can't wait for the holidays!

We feel like the end of term can’t come fast enough! Ds had a LAMDA exam last weekend, and is in the midst of end of term exams in every subject now.
He’s in a debating competition this evening so wont finish school until 8pm, oh and after school rehearsals for the musical are in full swing!

And the bad news is his laptop got broken last week at school 😫 He thinks someone threw his bag - apparently it’s something some of the kids do on purpose 😡 So we’ve had to order a replacement, just what you need at this time of year eh?

That sounds exhausting@MissyB1 - no wonder he's so tired. Gutting re laptop too - DD2 didn't have one for her old school- I shall be beyond furious if the current one gets damaged. Perhaps I should get it a better case.

There is too much on at this time of year - and much, much more in new school than old one. Roll on the holidays!

DD is also counting down the days until the end of term but she doesn't finish until the 20th so it still feels like she has a while to go. She has "mid year assessments" in January so at least we don't have the added pressure of exams now. Then I think her parents evening is in Feb. We should get some teacher predictions before the parents evening which will be really interesting as I feel like I have no idea how she is doing really!

Sending another virtual hug to @minisnowballs it must be tough for you and her.

And thanks @IThinkIMadeItWorse and @QueenMabby - it is odd her being so far away.

Boarding wasn't something we would ever have chosen for her. In general she is loving it but it is very full on and she just wants to impress every single teacher.

I think it was the Biology teacher remarking that she could have done better in the science test (she got an 8 for biology so hardly disastrous) that tipped her over the edge - but she's also having to learn the contrabassoon from scratch for a performance, try to work out the order of priorities when all her music clashes with the drama rehearsals and ensure that the flute and singing teachers are still happy with her as well.

And she's still really so new - to boarding, to music school and independent education. I think they keep forgetting that. She confessed over the weekend that she has no idea where any of the school loos are - she just goes back to her house at the end of the day and goes there.

Too much new stuff to take in!

@NotDonna thanks! Yes, he is quite mature when it comes to things like that, he is not one to succumb to peer pressure. Very immature in other ways though!,

@QueenMabby Amazing science test results, that's great!

We are definitely in the "it's too much" stage now, and there's still over 3 weeks left! DS still doing a couple of tests a week. I'm a bit frustrated at his PE teacher, who never puts the test dates on the calendar, and relies on the students just remembering. DS is not good at remembering things like that and never knows when there's a test and this morning said there "might" be a test today and he's done no revision...again! He has suspected ADHD and he's on the school register for it and awaiting a diagnosis, and he does so much better if the tasks are displayed online with deadlines and he loses focus in class sometimes, which means he can't remember things like an off hand remark about a test date. PE is the only subject that doesn't put the test dates on the system! I've emailed his teacher, but heard nothing back 🙄

@minisnowballs your DD sounds so busy, wow! Well done to her on physics!
I don't think neither of mine go to the toilet at school either! Apparently there are a mess most of them time.

@MissyB1 oh no that's awful regarding the laptop. Does he have to have it in school?

@DataColour yes they are required to have their laptops in school every day, they use them in every lesson. We’ve decided to buy a reconditioned one this time, half the price but still good spec. He’s promised to use the really good padded case we’ve bought and to lock it in his locker at lunchtime.

Dd also has a laptop for school. They have to have one of those hybrid ones that also folds over and has a touchscreen. I wince every time she forces her bag shut over it but it's ok so far! Rx

Both my dc have laptops but they are chromebooks provided by the school. They’re the foldy ones too, with touch screen, but otherwise pretty basic. The beauty of school providing them (big school, presumably enormous bulk discount) is that if something goes wrong the IT department fixes or replaced on the spot, just like work, and it’s drilled into them not to be casual/rough with school property.

@DarkAcademia - great they provide the laptops. New school's whatsapp seems to be mostly people agonising over 'chromebook or mac' - it would definitely take the worry out of it.

I'd be terrified to hand DD a mac - last night she 'lost' her laptop in her room while talking to me on the phone - she had just finished doing her prep on it. Turned out she had put it on to charge and forgotten within five minutes that she'd done this. Doesn't fill me with confidence.

Some people have their own, and several have macs, but IT can’t help them as easily as they can with school-owned, and they DO drop and break them. DD’s friend was in tears on Monday because she dropped and cracked her Mac Air. 😬

If we had to pay for them ourselves it would be a £200 Lenovo Ideapad. Not a Mac in a billion years.

Ouch! I would be in tears - not just DD under those circumstances. There's a lot of talk about macs being better for the music tech side of things, but given that DD is a bassoonist, she's more likely to need a knife and some pliers than a swanky computer. Sadly for her.

First time I've heard of having laptops in school! Are these private schools? Can't imagine state schools having the budget for them. My DH has been a teacher for 20 odd years now in secondary school and hasn't been in any school that provided laptops.
Do they actually use them in class? What do they do with them, take notes?

No laptops in school here in Surrey either. Plus no one I know in other areas, Bath, Sussex, with older kids does this either. Interesting. It seems we are behind the times.

@DataColour @Oblomov23

Yes, DD2 is now at private school - she was at a state comp until Sept but now has a government funded music and dance place at one of the specialist indies (lest anyone think we could actually afford this ourselves!). That's why she boards - she's over 100 miles away from us.

She has to bring her device to all lessons and all homework is on it - and her very, very complicated and ever changing schedule is on it too.

They also have an Alexa skill - hilariously - so if I wanted Alexa to remind me when she needs her PE kit, she would. Obviously I don't.

I worry she'll forget how to handwrite..she's really wedded to the laptop now. It was all paper at her old school. There were a couple of state schools locally that were into providing iPads (or making parents pay for them on expensive finance). They were academies. DD's LA secondary wouldn't have been able to require that.

Ds school is a private school, but it was the pandemic that was the catalyst for them insisting on laptops I think. We buy them ourselves sadly, although now we’ve had the disaster we’ve bought reconditioned from Dell this time.

The next issue is ds says he didn’t back his work up to the one drive 😫 Life lesson!!
I assumed all the kids work would be backed up on the school server somewhere, but no one seems able to tell me!

That’s the nice thing about chromebooks - you can chuck it out the window and log in to Google Classroom and MS Office on another device and just crack on.

My DC are at private, but the next school along is a state secondary and they all have laptops. I presume parents pay? Or maybe the school orders billions to get a good bulk discount and you order from the school.

I'm kind of glad that mine don't need to have a laptop at school it'll be another thing to worry about! DS comes home looking like he's been dragged through a bush backwards as he and his mates hang out after school in the park and I don't think a laptop will survive for long! DD is not dissimilar to be honest. I wouldn't trust her to keep a laptop safe either.

On a positive note, they have both been selected to compete in the inter school cross country competition. DD is in year 9 and the fastest girl in her year and DS is up there too, although not quite the fastest, but the pick 2 girls and 2 boys from each year group and they've both been picked! DD mainly happy because she gets to miss lessons!

How's everyone's DCs doing?

School is not breaking up till Friday for both of mine. They are very tired and run down/ill this week. DD went on a 2 day trip to France end of last week (we are in the NW) so quite a trek and came back tired and ill. Unfortunately it is exam week for her this week so she'd had to soldier on. She's given her lurgy to DS who's also got exams this week. Can't wait for it it all to be over.
DS got his report yesterday. A mixed bag as is usual for him. Mostly 6-9s but a few 5s and even a 3 for music which we knew was coming because he completely disregarded his teacher's instructions on what to perform for the assessment and was subsequently marked right down.

Thankfully ds broke up last Friday. We’ve had end of term assessment scores and all were pretty good except maths (which he has always struggled with).
So he’s got some maths to do over the holidays. Lots of his friends are away now so I think he’s a bit bored. I’ve offered cinema/pantomime etc but he doesn’t want to do them 🤷‍♀️

DD finishes today thank goodness. She is so exhausted. She has exams in January and school have suggested that they should be revising for an hour every day over the holidays(!) but I think she really needs a break. Not got too much planned for the next two weeks but I'm hoping to take her to see the Wonka movie. She likes just staying at home and relaxing/reading/drawing so I expect there will be a lot of that.

@DataColour @IThinkIMadeItWorse , fingers crossed everyone improves and relaxes for Christmas. It's such a long, busy term. Not surprised everyone is run down.

DD2 broke up on Friday. The last two weeks of school were very stressful, with the worst day being the one when she fainted in a music masterclass, and I got a panicky call from her music Head of Department promising to be more sensible with her timetable next term. This will make her grumpy as she wants to do everything!

She's pretty much recovered now, but I think the change to boarding and music school (and indeed just very full on independent school) has been a shock. On the plus side her report was really lovely, and she's definitely been pegged as far more hardworking than she is.

Big sister doesn't break up until Thursday - so at least DD2 is having a bit of a rest when she's not practising and seeing friends.