Y7- 2023/24 support thread

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Hi, just dropping in a thread for those of us who have kids starting secondary this coming September. There was a lovely thread going last year and they are carrying it on into Year 8, so here is a place for us the year behind.

How is everyone feeling as they finish Primary and prepare for Secondary?

Dd is moving from a single form entry "family feel" type cosy Primary into a large 8 form entry, multiple building secondary. She's going alone, her primary class are really split up across multiple secondaries.

The transition days helped, and she is excited,but has been really sad this weke saying her goodbyes

Is everyone prepped for uniform etc?

Agree! At primary I refused for my child to do times table rock stars! It was no help the count down timer and the pressure it then resulted my ds clicking any button out of panicking!!!

Had such difficult science home work about 18 x 20 minute modules! I was shocked at the level of it for example what is the tail of a cell called its flagella and diffusement not even sure I have written that right there!

I have no other way but make it a thing to do together with my DS. I go upstairs in his room with him to do the home work and I take snacks and Apple juice to make it something to look forward to & help him a long with it and if he does not know the answer we just use Google. I say it's not cheating as now we know the answer as I know he will refuse either way as all homework since day Ds has stated has been long and straight into it.

I play roblox with him (I'm terrible) ha ha after when we have done it or we get the hamster out.

Not sure how long this will last!

Had tears and ‘I don’t want to go to school’ and ‘I just don’t like it’ this morning. Lots of cajoling and hugs from me to get her out the door to the bus stop - and then the bus driver stopped but wouldn’t open the doors to let her on (I imagine too full)! So back home she came and I ended up driving her and a new school friend in - not what we want, we chose this school as she can bus/ walk/ cycle but she was so upset this morning (and her friend couldn’t cycle) so I just said no problem, hop in the car!

I have to say, it’s so full on - they have thrown them in the deep end at her school: 4 x lesson/ homework systems to look at each day (!), homework already and emails, oh the emails! She is finding all the emails a lot so we’re trying to teach how to read them once a day, prioritise and do/ defer/ delete as appropriate…. But they are 11, not working professionals yet!!

I know. My daughter is such a perfectionist and the fact she was rushing and there was no way she could go back and correct her answers was hard. She hates it 😞

Still nothing re maths set.
And realised it will affect homework set too. So could end up with ridiculously easy homework.
still only got the covering books homework.
i dont like ttr as it was very inflexible. Squeebles was better to learn them.
dd is definitely stressed. Picked a hole in her arm.
they picked the girls pe set using netball. But i guess thats the competitive sport for girls.
we have hockey this term which dd has never played. I assume they provide the sticks??

Also on the homework woes, DS only had two bits so far, a maths works by and an essay. He did his maths worksheet the day he got it but it took all of yesterday to get him to complete the essay ( mostly tears and procrastination) . Goodness knows what he'll be like when it ramps up.

@Busornobus67 we have been advised to buy sticks but the school does provide them until the kids have their own. However they play hockey twice a week, all year round + matches so they get their money's worth. Your school should supply them.

Dd had similar for the last 2 Mondays, I think she is struggling with having to leave an hour earlier and not getting home until hour later. She seems to warm up during the week just Monday struggles.

After the bus not turning up this morning (and me not having been added to the notification list so we were unaware that it had been delayed) and a dash to school in car to get her there in time, it has turned out to be a good day.
She's had good comments from several teachers about her work and is loving some of the new subjects.
I'm sure that the friendship thing will be a constant roller coaster for a while but she came back happy and smiling so that's a win!

That's good news @twistyizzy. Pleased to hear it!

I haven’t really overly pushed the homework with DD. I actually work in a secondary school in the pastoral department 🤦‍♀️. I’m not sure if this makes me a bit more lax. I just know that in the first half term it’s important to settle and I like to take a graded approach with some kids. My son being a Duracell bunny was fine from the word go but my DD is a different kettle of fish.

She just needs to be in the building for the first half term and getting used to the new environment and routine. I don’t think the school will come down too heavily on it anyway for the first half term but she’s doing the odd bit.

Just had heart to heart with Ds. Found out he is alone most breaks and lunches. He just’ walks about and sits down sometimes. Sometimes he chats to people then walks on’ 🫣😢

@Yoyo2021

Hard to hear 😢 but it really is such early days. It’s good he can open up to you. He wont be alone and he absolutely will get there.

That’s sad. Could he go to the library? DS goes to the library a lot.

@Yoyo2021 I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he finds someone he clicks with. It's still very early days.

Dd has a few pieces of homework now. She has a week to complete each one but I'm encouraging her to start early.

I didn't realise how much would be expected from parents once your child started secondary. Since starting we've had two 2 hour parent information evenings, multiple forms to fill, accounts to set up, emails, topping up cards and of course making sure dd has everything ready each day and any homework completed. It's been not stop so far.

Oh bless him. This was my biggest fear. Luckily DS has found lunch time mates and bus stop mates. Do the school run lunchtime clubs? It is still early days but I totally get your concerns. When he says he talks then walks on is that his decision? I think they are at that awkward age of not really doing small talk to keep conversations going ( my son has a tendency to talk at rather than with people)

Shocking morning of school refusal. If one more person asks me how she's getting on at school I'll scream !! Find myself lying saying everything's fine. I'm ashamed to say otherwise.

@lollipoprainbow oh no so sorry to read this! Is she flat out just refusing to go?

@lollipoprainbow hope you and your DD are ok. We are not at the stage of school refusal, just tears every morning, but I fear it will come. One if DD's friends refused to go to school last Thursday.

Any ideas why your DD is refusing? Have you spoken to the HOY?

@lollipoprainbow

My DD cried the minute she opened her eyes but she did go in. Said she was on her own at lunch yesterday.

Sorry to hear about your DD. Please don’t feel shame it’s so hard though isn’t it? Especially when you keep getting asked how they’re getting on 💐.

@lollipoprainbow and @Yoyo2021 I hope things improve rapidly for your DCs, it's so emotionally draining as a parent trying to stay positive for them and also being empathetic and sensitive to their thoughts and feelings, sending you strength (and possibly coffee!) Friendship groups and the confidence to go in that comes with that often seem to take several weeks to settle down.

@BirthdayFlake I so hear you about the amount of admin, I recall it was horrendous last year for my DD, all the things the parents are supposed to check, plus separate things the children have to get the hang of which we obviously initially try and prompt them for! It's not felt quite so bad this year for my DS, I think partly because his school have not set up all the systems right from the start, they are releasing things gradually for which I am grateful.

DS is still finding things a big change but we are having some nice little positive moments now at least and he is actually telling me some things about some of the lessons etc. He's seen a couple of other people get detention or behaviour points for fairly minor indiscretions which seems to have made a big impression on him (anecdotes repeated to me with very wide eyes!) . Now the lessons are getting more in the swing he seems to be enjoying the learning and by and large it seems the teachers have actually read their notes from the SENCO and are looking out for him, just hope it continues!

I play roblox with mine too haha

All gone wrong quickly here.
Dd seems to have been dumped already be primary friends.
Theyve started sitting on 2 seats on bus back so she cant sit with them.
Left her on her own at lunch but not clear if it was to go to a club, as they didnt say anything.
Wouldnt surprise me if its about the maths. As dd did ok at the test so will be moving up. But 1 friend who is in that set got only about half her marks. The other is set 2 and hasnt done as well.
Dd is used to a asd (?) boy so just not used to girls who are more sensitive. And frankly neither am i. I did tell her that would be the issue with this school.
the girl called her cringe.
dd doesnt mask but her social issues probably were being masked by having her one friend.
im glad now she wasnt put with anyone from primary.
just dont want to go back to school refusal.
Dd refuses to do any lunch clubs. But anyway the only ones on till after half term are sports (which she hates) and performance.

Ugh @Busornobus67 why do children have to be so mean?! I hope your DD finds some new nicer friends soon 🙏🏻

@Busornobus67 children can be so horrible to each other! I'm undecided whether it is easier for them to move up with primary friends but then risk losing them or to move up on your own and have to start from scratch.