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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

How do you prepare an 11 year old girl for getting the bus to school alone?

65 replies

Biostu · 09/05/2023 19:57

My daughter is 11 years old, she has been accepted into a very good secondary school that's further away than we would like. She will need to get two buses.
This is fine - we knew this when applying.
However, how do you prepare them for getting buses?
My daughter is dropped at school by car currently - with a younger sibling. We rarely catch the bus.

She has a day coming up in July when she has to attend for one day. Unfortunately, I am on a training course so can't be there to drop and pick her up (new job - I can't get out of it).
So my husband is on school duty... but he can't be in two places at once and the younger one is not old enough to make his way to school on his own.

This means my daughter aged 11 is going to have to get the bus to and from school on her own for the first time....

How do we go about this??
I'm so scared to let her go... She has a mobile phone and I have even got her a personal alarm for her house keys.
Help?

TIA.

OP posts:

RoseBucket · 09/05/2023 19:58

Can’t you do a trial run with her on the route or is it a school bus and not a public one.

MySaladDaysAreGone · 09/05/2023 19:59

You arrange childcare for your younger child and your husband goes with her?!

Stopsnowing · 09/05/2023 19:59

You have practice runs with her at the weekend or during half term. Or you find a babysitter to take her. Or you ask the school if there is another pupil coming from near you.

TheGriffle · 09/05/2023 20:00

I will be in a similar situation next year depending on which school my dd gets into. I think you will just have to practice the journey with her. Walk the route to the first bus stop, show her how to pay (if she has to pay, I have no idea!) show her where to get off to get the next bus and repeat on the way back. Do that a few times before she needs to do it on her own and she should be fine.

Parker231 · 09/05/2023 20:00

Practice the journey at the weekend. DT’s had to get the Tube to school - we did it with them and then they started going on their own.
Does your DD have any friends going to the same school which she can meet up with and travel together?

ReadersD1gest · 09/05/2023 20:00

Lots of trial runs so there are no surprises. Are there any other kids she could buddy up with?

Azandme · 09/05/2023 20:01

You have two months to prepare her.

Do the route with her on a Saturday at school time (busy with workers) a couple of times, then do it from a distance a few times. Then get her to get on the bus and you follow in the car a couple of times.

Throughout the process show/tell her what she needs to do, and also what she should do if things go wonky.

My dd is going up in September. I'm also nervous, but I'm sure our girls are way more capable than we think.

slamfightbrightlight · 09/05/2023 20:03

For a one off day i’d try to arrange someone to have the younger one so dad can take her to and from. An induction day will be overwhelming enough.

For September do a few trial runs through the summer so she’s feeling confident.

Stopsnowing · 09/05/2023 20:03

Also get her to get herself to her current school alone if she hasn’t already to build her confidence!

FloweryName · 09/05/2023 20:04

You take some time over the summer holidays or at the weekends and do the journey there and back with her a couple of times.

DeathMetalMum · 09/05/2023 20:04

We did a few practice runs, dd had a summer school that we were able to get the bus to on one of the days. Then we did it at the weekend too.

Dd get the bus to local town then another bus, however journey is walkable so I also went into town with her one weekend and did the walk. This was after she had started at high school.

thestringcheesemassacre · 09/05/2023 20:04

Practice runs - my daughter gets the train and hasn’t done this by herself at this age.

also do the what if scenarios. What if the bus is late or cancelled etc? Or she feels uncomfortable etc. And get LIFE 360 on your phone

Stopsnowing · 09/05/2023 20:04

Also talk through what if situations. Eg. You miss your stop. The second bus is late etc

Colinfromaccounts · 09/05/2023 20:05

Do a couple of trial runs. One with you showing her what to do, then do another with you walking a little bit behind her just as backup but her doing everything herself.

Namechange828492 · 09/05/2023 20:05

Definitely do a dry run. Otherwise she will be bricking it on the first day as she gets on a random bus and hopes she recognises the stop for school (looking at you Mum!)

CarryOnThen · 09/05/2023 20:06

We did practices in the holidays, but weekends would work just as well. As well as just being used to the route I also gave advice on where to sit. What to do if the bus unexpectedly terminates. What to do if someone hassles her. And stressed that if a man talks to her she doesn't have to be polite and can move the fuck away.

She's been fine. The bus always has other school kids on anyway and she made Bus Friends. They grow up a lot once Year 7 starts and now we're in the summer term and she goes shopping alone and to the cinema with friends. She's so independent.

Staggersaurus · 09/05/2023 20:06

Trial runs. I’ve a dd in year 7 and I can’t believe how independent she became. She went from being shepherded everywhere in cotton wool last July, to taking public transport and walking home from school confidently and happily mid September.

If she hasn’t got friends doing the same route talk to her new form tutor to see if she can buddy up with anyone.

Babymamamama · 09/05/2023 20:07

It’s called travel training. You go through the actual process of travelling with your child several times looking at different issues and solutions until they are comfortable to do the travel alone. If need be you do it in the school holidays to build up to the day itself. But for the first week of actual term time or so ideally you would travel with the child to get them settled into the routine.

TomatoSandwiches · 09/05/2023 20:07

Childcare for the younger one and Dad can take her on the bus there and back so she knows the route.
I'm all for building independent children but I think it would be mean to chuck her in at the deep end to get there alone for her first time.

mathanxiety · 09/05/2023 20:10

Trial runs, and get her a cheap, low-tech phone so she can call for support if something goes wrong.

If you can take a day off work and if she can take a day off school, try to do a trial run in real-life conditions.

When your DD starts in the school you may find there's someone else from the school taking the same busses.

nicknamehelp · 09/05/2023 20:10

Practice. Don't let her know u are worried as that will make her worried. Work out what she should do if misses a bus. Have a code sentence she can use to alert you if she's worried about someone around her.

Hbh17 · 09/05/2023 20:10

11 year olds did this easily before mobile phones were invented, so please don't infantilise her. Show her what to do, and she'll be fine.

mysonsmother82 · 09/05/2023 20:12

Get a childminds for the taster day so dad can drive her, hopefully she makes friends who have to do the same bus route in September but definitely do a couple of practice runs in the summer holidays.

CarryOnThen · 09/05/2023 20:17

Do you have the timings for the taster day yet OP? Worth checking those as when my DD had a taster day they had them in early, so they were in before the rest of the school turned up. If yours does similar your DH might actually be able to do both school runs.

Spring45Mermaid · 09/05/2023 20:17

Practice a few times and practice what to do when things go wrong. Bus late, odd person sits next to her. Who a ‘safe person’ could be. How to recognise her ‘spider sense’ and act on it. She could phone one of you move to another seat etc. I’m not saying this to be scary but my DD is very young as birthday late Aug and had to use public transport for school and only on her second week had an older man act weirdly with her and blocking her exit after everyone in her train section had got off. She was puzzled at first because “he looked like her teacher” ie didn’t fit her stereotype image of threatening. She was ok but his actions really upset her hence our conversation about what to do if it “doesn’t feel right”.

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