Page 3 | How do you prepare an 11 year old girl for getting the bus to school alone?

Biostu · 2023-05-09T18:57:51+00:00

My daughter is 11 years old, she has been accepted into a very good secondary school that's further away than we would like. She will need to get two buses. This is fine - we knew this when applying. However, how do you prepare them for getting buses? My daughter is dropped at school by car currently - with a younger sibling. We rarely catch the bus. She has a day coming up in July when she has to attend for one day. Unfortunately, I am on a training course so can't be there to drop and pick her up (new job - I can't get out of it). So my husband is on school duty... but he can't be in two places at once and the younger one is not old enough to make his way to school on his own. This means my daughter aged 11 is going to have to get the bus to and from school on her own for the first time.... How do we go about this?? I'm so scared to let her go... She has a mobile phone and I have even got her a personal alarm for her house keys. Help? TIA.

MammaTo · 09/05/2023 21:34

Setyoufree · 09/05/2023 20:34

Can you give me any advice on what to say re where to sit, what to do if anyone gives her hassle? My DD will be doing the same on a public bus and I've never really considered safety things like that before (sounds ridiculous I know)

Sit near the front by the driver or near another (normal looking) woman that might be on her way to work (uniform, smartly dressed) buses by mine tend to be jam packed with school kids at these peak times so stick with friends.
Give the driver plenty of notice when her stop is coming up.
If a weirdo does try to talk to her, approach a safe looking adult and pretend to know them, this has helped me before.
Other then that maybe some walks the shops and back solo, if you go to a retail park - you stay in the car and let her go in and pick up items and pay and gain some independence.
Hope she enjoys big school!

LynetteScavo · 09/05/2023 21:39

eddiemairswife · 09/05/2023 21:18

I'm always surprised that ordinary people don't seem to use busses anymore.

The town I live in is small enough not to need buses(if you have a bike) , and has train links with most of the local towns and cities. Trains are no problem for my DC. Buses throw up all sorts of problems though, to the point that DD will not get a bus from the station to our house!

CindersAgain · 09/05/2023 21:42

Does the younger child not have a friend you could drop her off at? For the induction day?

Madcats · 09/05/2023 21:47

Is this London (or somewhere with less reliable/frequent bus services)?

I recommend doing at least part of the route on Streetview to recognise where the bus is. Most London bus routes seem to announce the next stop (but I don't think that is the norm in the rest of the country).

DD(15) has a smartphone so used to pop google maps with a traffic/transit overlay whilst on a bus to make sure she knew where to get off a bus.

Personally I would shift heaven and earth to try to accompany DC to yr11 taster. Even if it took a day of annual leave.

Make sure that she knows how to pay for her fare (not sure that our buses take cash); app or card or apple/google pay.

purser25 · 09/05/2023 21:49

Explain that she will probably have to+cross a road to get the bus back and not carry on in the same direction.

Boxbedbank · 09/05/2023 21:53

So I did the journey with them, then also sent them a few stops from home to get me some shopping to make sure they were confident on their own (did lots of this in may half term). Then when they were confident doing this alone they tried the school bus independently. By the September it wasn't an issue.

aramox1 · 09/05/2023 22:16

Blimey. Unless there is some other issue one trial trip, led by her, in the summer should be enough. Do you not use buses regularly?

tadpolecity · 09/05/2023 23:59

CindersAgain · 09/05/2023 21:42

Does the younger child not have a friend you could drop her off at? For the induction day?

This. Or breakfast club

TeenDivided · 10/05/2023 06:54

aramox1 · 09/05/2023 22:16

Blimey. Unless there is some other issue one trial trip, led by her, in the summer should be enough. Do you not use buses regularly?

Loads of people who have cars don't uses buses regularly.

Apart from a park and ride at Christmas, I can't think when I was last on a bus, maybe 6 years ago when I visited Edinburgh I guess. I drive, walk or take a train.

OP - are none of her schoolmates going to the same school?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 10/05/2023 07:00

It's not great to chuck her in at the deep end on the induction day - we expect them to be collected, rather than wave them off in the hope that they don't get lost on the first day they've ever been there. Can her father not go into work an hour later and then pick her up for one day?

PuttingDownRoots · 10/05/2023 07:01

Do you know the times for the induction day? They didn't need to be there until 9.30 at DDs school at year (so parents could drop off siblings first, since there were no school buses from outlying villages for them) and they finished at 2.30.

katepilar · 12/10/2023 08:47

I'd do a the journey with her a few times, then let her do it on her own with you in the back round. She should be fine.

elkiedee · 12/10/2023 19:06

As well as practice journeys to school, maybe try and do some other journeys by bus. Look at transport websites to try and plan journeys.

For anyone reading this who is in London/in the Transport for London area which extends out to outer London boroughs, and isn't aware, under 11s travel free with an adult. Over 11s need an Oyster Zip card - apply through TFL with a small admin charge and do it well in advance, and then they get all bus journeys including those to school completely free. Money can be put on the card as for other Oyster cards to pay for very discounted Tube and overground journeys. \

Outside TFL areas, local websites should have lots of information about buses including available passes, and I think learning to use those is part of useful skills for kids.

We live even nearer our kids' secondary school than to their old primary - 5 minutes walk, but we don't have a car, and our boys hadn't really used public transport much on their own before they were 11, but DS1 has used it a lot to visit friends, and I think DS2 (14, year 10) has used buses to get to other places for events like school sports day. DS1 did have to make an adjustment to travelling at rush hour and needing to be in school by a certain time for 6th form, 2 buses away. The journey should take 40-45 minutes but there can be problems - he's now learned that leaving 10 minutes earlier improves his chances considerably!

elkiedee · 12/10/2023 19:27

And I really think kids shouldn't be taught to be selfish on the bus - sitting on the outside putting bags on seats etc. The vast majority of people getting on to the bus aren't totally weird and disabilities/passengers needing a seat aren't always that visible. I'm not particularly old but I struggle to balance standing - I try not to occupy priority seats at busy times if there are others available. I often see people, often youngish adults as well as kids, who seem to be using headphones to block out people who might ask them to move. Most people won't try to make small talk for the sake of it if you read a book, or even hold a book/phone etc as if reading, but you can hear bus announcements etc. Shame on parents who think it's ok to teach that behaviour on buses and tubes, as well as on adults of all ages who do it themselves.

By the way, in London you can look up bus routes and check the number and the names of the stops on the route, and Google Maps and TFL both give details of stop(s) where you need to change - and you can find where you can swap buses directly or if you need to cross a road or walk round a corner to continue your journey. When I do two bus journeys I can find out, not only whether I'll need to wait long for a second bus, but even sometimes where the routes overlap by more than one stop, which will give me a chance of changing buses without waiting around.

CindersAgain · 12/10/2023 19:51

elkiedee · 12/10/2023 19:27

And I really think kids shouldn't be taught to be selfish on the bus - sitting on the outside putting bags on seats etc. The vast majority of people getting on to the bus aren't totally weird and disabilities/passengers needing a seat aren't always that visible. I'm not particularly old but I struggle to balance standing - I try not to occupy priority seats at busy times if there are others available. I often see people, often youngish adults as well as kids, who seem to be using headphones to block out people who might ask them to move. Most people won't try to make small talk for the sake of it if you read a book, or even hold a book/phone etc as if reading, but you can hear bus announcements etc. Shame on parents who think it's ok to teach that behaviour on buses and tubes, as well as on adults of all ages who do it themselves.

By the way, in London you can look up bus routes and check the number and the names of the stops on the route, and Google Maps and TFL both give details of stop(s) where you need to change - and you can find where you can swap buses directly or if you need to cross a road or walk round a corner to continue your journey. When I do two bus journeys I can find out, not only whether I'll need to wait long for a second bus, but even sometimes where the routes overlap by more than one stop, which will give me a chance of changing buses without waiting around.

If I suggested to my daughter about sitting on the aisle, it would be for when the bus is really empty. She’s already had a weirdo sitting next to her when there was hardly anyone on the bus as it happens.