Concerns at Wychwood School, Oxford - seeking other families

[Galanthus78]

The situation re Wychwood going co-ed is of great concern to my DD who is a pupil at the school, and to us. We've given the powers-that-be a chance to reassure us, and DD has talked extensively with staff; if anything, we've become even more concerned. DD has now asked us to actively seek her a place elsewhere, which seems a real shame after several (mostly) happy years there.

Are there any other parents around?

Specifically, we have 3 main concerns, which I'll go into, below.

The implementation, at such short notice, of co-ed is alarming. This is being "sold" to DD as a good thing, as it will "probably result in only a handful of boys in each class in September". Or words to that effect. But even a small amount of males ends it being a single-sex environment, which we, and DD, actively chose for her. Additionally, where will these boys come from, who don't have school places at such short notice? Has their behaviour or schoolwork been of too low a standard for other independent schools, and if so, what will the knock-on effect be on the girls, in the very small Wychwood classrooms?

(Added to which, we're worried that such a major change with no notice may speak to the viability of the school, but I have no evidence of this, so suspect this thread is not the place for exploring this concern.)

Secondly, the school is also selling this as a win for equality, "and not really a change at all, as we've already got transboys". (Again, probably words to this effect - though these were the exact ones DD quoted to me.)
But we all know that trans identified females retain the need for female protections and facilities - this is why their parents chose a girls' school for them. And indeed, more than one pupil has detransitioned during DD's time at the school, so the girls have all seen for themselves that gender issues can end as quickly as they began.
This narrative from some staff and the leadership has left DD extremely upset as she feels that continuing to raise her concerns will make her appear transphobic.

Finally, the fact that leadership haven't consulted parents in advance of accepting boys in all year groups in September feels disrespectful. Does Wychwood leadership think that we have no other options but to spend a significant amount of money on a service that doesn't care about our opinions? It feels like parents of boys, who may or may not materialise at such short notice, are being prioritised over current families. Perhaps the leadership have forgotten that there are plenty of great schools in Oxfordshire, and we can vote with our feet.

I don’t think ,just because your paying for it ,you get to make the rules
like with any school ,if parents and child not happy ,you vote with your feet
you will have more choices than most as you have the disposable income to pay for education,
where the rest of us ,are just great full we can pay our electricity bill.

There is your answer

there are plenty of great schools in Oxfordshire, and we can vote with our feet

There was a whole thread about this about a week ago? Maybe worth searching for it? Most of the answers were in agreement with you and/or wondering about the financial viability or the school

I guess I'm struggling a bit with the obvious conclusion because it makes me a bit sad. DD has got some lovely friends, who she'll miss being educated alongside. But I'm also increasingly angry, especially at all the genderwoo.

The thread was deleted, the OP had concerns for her privacy. It is a very small community so I understand. However there was quite a lot of good responses and ultimately it's probably best you look for an alternative place, boys joining aside, this seems like a last ditch attempt to get money and is unlikely to work.

Gaslighting students and parents is not something SLT do for fun. Even the popup on their website looks like a cheap and shoddy job. That picture looks like it's from the 90s.
We toured it before and I was really concerned by their trans population and now, how they are using this very vulnerable group as a leveraging device to make their crazy plan seem like an everyday decision. You can't have a whole marketing model based on providing single sex education and than do this. Don't for one second believe that they won't close overnight if they have to. I'd be getting a place elsewhere before they're gone.

Sign of the times thou
bit like the 90s when anorexia was seen as a lifestyle choice .
these things come and go .
I suppose the school doesn’t want to be called out ,if they refuse male born transgender children

Thanks for the info about the other thread; hopefully that means there are some other Wychwood families around here.

I agree with you on the popup. And the rest...

I believe that single-sex schools are allowed to 'discriminate' by taking only pupils of the correct sex. The school is partly boarding, so is really wouldn't be suitable to have trans identified males sharing dorms with the girls!

The boarding aspect (with, additionally, many pupils doing flexi- or occasional boarding) and tiny site, means that it's pretty essential for parents, and prospective parents, to be able to converse with leadership about their plans for safeguarding and safety, which is proving tricky in the face of them boasting about having a school which is beyond the binary (I kid you not). So I'm particularly keen on finding parents of boarders, to see if they've been given more reassurance on this aspect than the rest of us.

@Galanthus78 there was quite a few parents on there and I think school got word of it so they requested it to be deleted.
Most parents were pissed off and looking to move. From what I remember that OPs husband was pretty set on it and they were looking into the finances of the school. Apparently another independent has received quite a lot of enquiries. There was a few who were extremely optimistic which I think is what made the previous OP think the school got word of it but idk. Hopefully she sees this thread and gets in touch. You are definitely not alone in your worries though, there was a few parents on that thread who had the same worries. I think if your daughter is y7-9 I would be moving asap, esp as you have a couple of weeks until the deadline to give notice of withdrawal. Trickier in exam years but not impossible. There was also talk of the school not offering the TPS, making recruitment harder.
Ultimately, upcoming rise in fees aside, you're paying a lot of money for a worse service than a state school would provide and will be on edge thinking it can close any minute. Not to mention potentially having a kid in a class that might end up resembling a PRU.

Ah I wish you'd seen the other thread. There was a lot of discussion about the 'beyond binary' slogan.

We're voting with our feet. As the school has been very clear that this is not up for discussion, then there is little point in discussion - so we're sadly leaving at the end of the year. (Not a boarder, so no insight there, I'm afraid.)

The current leadership structure has not given the new head a chance to do her job as well as she could, I think.

This change has been rushed on her during her first year, and now she is wasting her time on endless meetings with angry parents instead of settling into a great role at a lovely school, getting to know the girls with a lovely cohort of teachers at her back, and working with her marketing team to raise the school's profile sustainably with the benefit of financial investment to really build up the school. But that was not to be!

I also strongly object to the trans kids, who have been safely exploring their gender identities at the school, being used as tools to justify this change.

A teacher asked my daughter's class (when they were raising objections to going co-ed) if they thought that [several names of their trans friends] should not be at the school in that case, and if they should be made to leave if single sex is so important, which felt horribly manipulative and unnecessary. Why drag them into it? The ones I know of are also coping with autism, and being ably supported by their lovely teachers, and it just feels mean to load this "responsibility" onto them as well.

I worry about the timing too, and the nature of the incoming cohort of boys. At this point in the year they're likely to be the boys with the fewest options.

Focussing earlier in the year on a vigorous campaign to bring in boys from year 7 only would have gone better. It feels rushed, and I think the new leadership has pushed this on the head too fast.

And oh god that popup!? It really makes it look like the site has been taken down.

You'd never know it was going co-ed from the Twitter account, btw, and the content it retweets from itself and other accounts references it being a girls school.

The reality is that more and more single sex schools go co Ed. They may simply be looking at keeping numbers up so they survive in an increasingly competitive market and with a cost of living crisis meaning that some of the target families may choose state education.

Vote with your feet if you don't want your DD educated there.

Both DH and I went to single sex schools and I thought I wanted the same for DS. By the time he went to secondary both boys schools in our region were co Ed. So glad they were he has a lovely mixed group of friends.

I

@SeasonFinale I think you might be right, and it may well be the case that Oxford needs a highly pastoral co-ed school, which is a gap in the market here right now. The way it has been handled here feels rushed, clumsy and almost inexperienced.

At least last week you could still find cached copies of the old thread via Google.

summary: run

@Dodgeitornot Thanks so much for summing up all that about the prior thread, which is incredibly helpful. I'm now in touch with another parent via PM, confirming that information too.

Hi @pasturespastures, I'm happy to hear from another Wychwood family, but sorry to hear further confirmation of the manipulation of the pupils. It feels like their empathy is being preyed on - and to a lesser extent, ours too.

I suspect quite a few families might be making quiet plans to head elsewhere now, given that there are so many options locally for girls.

Yikes.

Okay, thanks.

I think the school is so small there that statistically there probably aren't many parents on here willing to post. You might get some DM's!

Indeed.
Either/or would be great.

@SeasonFinale I don't think anyone is denying this, but the way this particular school has handled it is pretty atrocious.
@pasturespastures My jaw is on the floor. I bet when parents raised concerns about trans kids being admitted they probably said they are girls. Now they're not? This gaslighting and manipulating of kids is disgusting. I wouldn't want my child in a place like this even if the cohort of boys that came in was a group of cherubs.

*clearly my summary is tongue in cheek.

But the overall takeaway was that there must be money issues, that people have already been put off the school due to its deep dive into trans issues, it’s too small and seems to have developed a Reputation as a school for those who just can’t cope in other schools, that it has failed utterly to consult on this change, and that it’s gaslighting the students by telling them that transboys are actually biologically male (because otherwise it has to admit it’s single sex and this is a Massive change).

I can also confirm the shift came as a surprise to the local private school community…