What's wrong with hothousing?

[justanotherdaduser]

That's it really. Hothousing is often mentioned here in a derogatory tone and I was wondering why people dislike it?

I really doubt that a child doing A level further maths at 9 hasn't been pushed to some extent. That seems pretty remarkable. Sometimes parents don't like to be seen to be hothousing, such is the stigma against it. Really they should be proud of it as a lot of the work generally does originate from the parents.

@londontimes and I find the 9 years old doing A level maths...scary. This is not a normal brain and I understand 2 years ahead, 3 years but...A- levels? This is not a healthy situation and god only knows is happening with the brain of that child. The prodigy children rarely turn into grown up Einsteins...

I'm with you. Perfect pitch is a nightmare when choir director says "just sing it up a tone"

It is a total mindf* if you have perfect pitch ...

A child of 9 years old doing A levels Maths had exposure and parents may not say it is hot housing but how do parents know what current A levels Maths look like….unless parents printing questions, allowing appropriate websites and buying books. They should be honest and claim how hard working and wonderful their kid and applaud the effort.

I really doubt that a child doing A level further maths at 9 hasn't been pushed to some extent. That seems pretty remarkable. Sometimes parents don't like to be seen to be hothousing, such is the stigma against it. Really they should be proud of it as a lot of the work generally does originate from the parents
There's rightly a stigma against hothousing because hothousing is all about the parents' ego, the parents' feelings and the parents bizarre desire to see their children's achievements as an extension of themselves.
In the mind of a hothousing parent, if the child is brilliant academically/ athletically/ musically then that's proof to the hothousing parent that they're a brilliant parent.

A child doing A Level Further Maths at 9 wouldn't be there unless there was some push from parents. 9 year olds don't go looking for exams aimed at 18 year olds.

A child can be mathematically stretched without sitting A Level papers, which comes back to the question: why would a parent of a 9 year old want to enter their child for A Level papers?

It’s very amusing to see people who think “hothousing” 2-3 years advance is good and the same people think “hothousing” to A level is not good.

It is, in principle, not different to 2-3 years advance. Society sees it less because the super intelligent at that level is a lot rarer & the child also need to be in the right environment to be able to get the exposure to A level materials with the right approach.

FlawlessSquid
I don't think any hothousing is good. I think it's all about parent ego and them viewing the child as an extension of themselves.
I feel the same about pushy sports parent, pushy music parents and other parents who view their children as accessories to prove what a brilliant parent they are. The children end up learning quite quickly that their parents' approval comes from them performing.

A child can be exposed to a range of materials and experiences and challenged in a way that is appropriate to their talents and capabilities without hothousing. The problem is that this requires a bit of thought and effort from the parents beyond picking a specification to get their child through and there's no bragging rights or certificate to prove what an amazing parent they are.

Ha, yes, veteran of many choirs (and 'we'll just drop it a semitone') here.

A child that gifted can get really frustrated, though, if you don't let them tackle the hard questions. It's like saying to a child that's really good at football, 'don't try any fancy moves with that ball, you don't want to look too different and have no friends'. It's possible to be very gifted and have friends and get on with people.

The friend in question is gifted herself in a different area so she's doing what her parents did which was to take the child to a bookstore or expose them to documentaries (now YouTube and other online resources) etc and let the child decide what they want.

I think there's a big difference between "making" the child do something and "exposing" them to things and letting them "choose", which is what I'm doing. I feel this friend is in a similar position only the interests of the child are much deeper than mine, and that's totally ok. I'm proud of my kids for who they are just as she is proud of hers.

Would it really matter if the child became the next Einstein or not? Expecting kids to be at the same level (or only a few years ahead) academically is like expecting all kids in a class to have similar personalities. Why do you find it scary? I find it fascinating, and wish him all the very best in achieving what "he" wants in life.

@londontimes

Why do you find it scary?

because I am a child of neurologist and heard a lot about such cases

and wish him all the very best in achieving what "he" wants in life.

absolutely. That goes without saying

I suppose we would not have had Lang Lang or Roger Federer without a degree of hothousing. Inherently talented kids plus a parent who goes above and beyond “nurturing” the talent from a very early age.

Still I would never sacrifice my own child for the greater good. The risk reward element is not there for me. Far too much risk to their long term mental health in exchange for a minute chance to be world famous/go down in history. No thanks.

As much as I am proud to engage in the dreadful no-no which is hothousing, I'm not super keen on exams and accolades. I've taught a lot of piano to kids where the parents are desperate for their child to pass grade so-and-so. Usually the child is only barely at the level where they could make such a pass, and so we needed to spend a whole year slogging away at pieces which are really too difficult and consequently no fun at all.

If my son ever does his grade 8 piano, I'm going to make sure he is well beyond that level first. Same if he was great at maths, I'd probably rather he just learned and learned rather than being put through the meat grinder of passing an A level at a precociously early age.

Hot housing has its own rewards. Much of it is in the incredible and fascinating things that your child can say and do which they would never be able to otherwise. Exams, competitions and so forth have their place but it is better to try to make the learning and ability its own reward.

Although I would say that competitions can be healthy. They can also be very unhealthy. I say this having been through the meat grinder of the piano competition circuit myself and it has its pros and cons. Not sure how I'd feel about my son doing this. I'll guess we'll see when the time comes.

I don't think her son is taking exams anytime soon. It's just that his interests are at that level and enjoys it. Personally I don't see anything wrong with that 🤷‍♀️

That's amazing. Please tell me what the findings for these unusual brains are. I am genuinely interested.

You sound a bit woke so maybe your ideological prejudices are your source of data. Am I wrong?

Ha, I am far too old to be woke. And yes, you are very wrong about many things.

Think of the happiest people you know. It is unlikely to be those who were hothoused. They are more likely to be those who are comfortable in their own skin and who have strong relationships. Of course it’s good to try hard but I believe education and upbringing should be about helping the child to find ‘their thing’ and giving positive encouragement rather than pressure.

@londontimes I didn't say that I am a neurlogist or that I will be spending time interviewing my mothet and copying links. Google is available for everybody. I just said why I find it scary.

That's a shame. I love hearing these stories and thought you would be kind enough to share one or two of the stories with us that you "heard a lot about” from your parent who is a neurologist. Of course I wouldn’t ask you to interview them or search for any links. It’s so much more interesting to hear things that come directly from the doctors themselves (or their children in this case).

I strongly recommend the movie with Travolta called Phenomenon. Human brain is still a great mystery

I assumed that what the mother meant was that he was doing A-Level questions at home for the fun of it, rather than that he was actually going to sit the exam. I agree with you, puting children in for an exam they aren't ready for is a bad idea.

There's what Montessori call the 'sweet spot' where a task isn't too easy (so that the child becomes bored and disengages) or too difficult (so that the child becomes frustrated and gives up). My point is that 'sweet spot' is going to be different for different children, depedning on their talents and interests.

Nobody is too old to be woke! Look at Joe Biden :)

😂😂😂

londontimes
If he's just exploring his interests and his parents are facilitating then that's not hothousing to me. In my experience parents in this group tend not to blabber on about how amazing they/their DC are.

Whereas seeing a child likes maths, is good at maths and then piling on more and more and more and rushing to get DC to sit qualifications at young ages would be absolutely hot housing. The parents in this group seem to want everyone under the sun to know that their children are so much better because of all their hard work as parents.

I saw the same in music when I was a child. One of my peers was a excellent musician and substantially more advanced than their peers, but they were allowed to learn, play, compose and enjoy their talents in a way that was very much self-driven with appropriate support. They were never pushed to be front desk or section leader or soloist, and would often be very happy playing in the middle of the section and supporting leading sectionals. You'd never hear their parents making a huge song and dance about what great parents they were for producing such an outstanding musician.

I also saw a lot of other able and talented musicians pushed into doing more and more ensembles, more grades, more theory exams, need to have a solo, need to enter this competition or that one, and it was a hot house sort of environment. A lot of those parents seemed to think it really mattered that their child was better than others, that Jimmy did his grade 8 at whatever age, that Tabitha is already doing music lessons at the regional conservatoire. They were great musicians but it wasn't a healthy culture from their parents at all.