Talk me down re school choice

[Schoolunsure2]

Hello, sorry it's a long one but I'm really stuck.

2 DDs, yr5 and 3, both exceptionally bright, wanting to be doctors/ engineers etc. Eldest talented all rounder, v musical and sporty, youngest not so much but probably brighter with maths.

We're all v happy in our house and don't want to move. Moving to a better catchment area would cost more than private school x2 (in SE).

The local school (walkable)has a v caring reputation, good for SEN. But, having looked at GCSEs, only 30% get 5s in maths and English, and only 68% of those with high prior achievement get 5s, which I think is really disappointing.

Other school in catchment is a short bus ride away, much better for bright kids (especially girls) but has a bad rep for bullying.

There is a girls' grammar but that's 40 minutes away by bus, exceptional results but lots of stress and pressure.

I know it's sensible to just send them to the local school where they will be fine. But it will be so hard for them to get top grades there.

There are a few local private schools but it would be a real stretch.

There is a wildcard of a top public school half an hour drive away who have offered both scholarships but this would still cost us £20k a year and absorb any future pay rises/ inheritance and leave us really tight, plus kids would have no local friends.

Any advice greatly appreciated
Thanks

Is it not worth looking into scholarships and bursaries too?

The only private school near us has music and sport scholarships that offer a 10% discount and one 50% academic place. We might try for that but it's still £7,000 a year to find, which we would probably struggle to find. I may go and talk to the school next year though and see what they have to say. The grammar would be my first choice though.
What would your first choice be? Has the private school got a good reputation? I am not surprised you're worried as I am too. The next year is going to drag!

I have absolutely no idea what our first choice would be still! It seems like there are only wrong answers 😭

In your shoes I would at least try for the Grammar- I think it sounds like the best option out of several that are not ideal for you. If the grammar doesn't work out, I would possibly try the other local school first. Bullying is awful, but sometimes it happens in spite of the school not because of it IYSWM?

If private is going to be a massive stretch, I would see it as a last resort. I don't think it's great for students to start at private and then have to move to state because finances don't allow long term.

@Schoolunsure2
You will always find a few Dc are not happy in a school. The majority usually are. In grammars, over coaching and then fear of failure is a big issue for a minority. They are in the wrong school. It’s that simple. Of course the pace is faster at a grammar and parents must judge if that’s right for dc. If it doesn’t work, it’s not always the fault of the school. It’s often Dc being in the wrong school and pushed by parents. So for the majority of Dc in them, most grammars are great. A few moans are rarely representative. Some schools are a bit work hard, play hard but you know what the ethos is. I have three local grammars and all are fantastic schools. Very few parents don’t like them. The vast majority do.

Thank you, that's reassuring. We don't want to push, we just want the right fit where they are middle of the pack.