2023 Eleven Plus support thread

[elevenduck]

I thought it might be useful for parents of 2023 children taking the 11+ test next school year to have a space to talk everything 11+ - tips on managing stress, approaches to the different papers, ways of relaxing etc.

Let's try and keep it positive and supportive!

Just to explain my son was and still is very keen to go to the grammar school- just not very keen to do any preparation!

My response to this would be. “And I’m keen to win the lottery.” Basically, just because you are keen on something, does not mean it will just happen. I would make sure my dc understands this. When my dc was slacking in prep, I said that’s fine, because you will get into the outstanding state secondary we live close to. But if you want to get into a top academic private or grammar you need to prep! And even that does not make it a sure thing. But it does improve your chances.

@starpatch ’s son has already got a grammar place 😊 And, unfortunately, demand avoidant kids really aren’t receptive to that kind of advice, even though it’s completely correct! Believe me, I tried those pep talks. I was so mindful to not put my child under huge amounts of pressure too. The whole process is so intense for a ten year old.

I still think there’s a lot to be said for not intensively tutoring, because you want your child to naturally have the ability and not be one of those over-tutored kids who flounders once they arrive.

We are still struggling massively with Spatial NVR, not helped by the fact that I find them impossible myself, so clearly a genetic disadvantage.

DD hates Lego / jigsaws etc - someone recommended Minecraft as a way to help her 3D understanding. Do you think that would help?

@elevenduck

Personally I dislike Minecraft but it may well be ok for spatial understanding. I would thought a more practical approach would be better. Smart games do some great spatial reasoning games that we play as a family. My favourite is the IQ puzzler.
With my dd we also build 3D models of some of the questions she gets stuck on.
Let's hope it pays off.

@elevenduck , Minecraft creative not just gaming Minecraft. I suggest you look at Minecraft creative youtube videos to get ideas. DC into creative aspect of Minecraft which is designing buildings, towns, boats, spacecrafts etc etc.The gaming aspect is not going to extend block build since you just running about etc.
Lego, different styles maybe of interest? Brickheadz, small figures with lots of little blocks.

@elevenduck DD struggled with spatial (this was 8 years ago) but of the three tests she took only Kent had spatial. We took the decision for her to make educated guesses for those as the stress of not being able to do them took away from the fact she was doing really well on everything else. It was a strategy that worked for her. She is just doing A level exams after being at a grammar for the last seven years. I think if there is just one weak point flogging away at it can be negative. Good luck everyone.

I agree. My son used to be incredibly unwilling three years ago so there’s no way I’d have even contemplated tutoring or working from home. In the last 6-12 months everything has changed. He’s suddenly winning awards, certificates, greater depth etc etc. so of course now we’ve left it too late but are throwing the kitchen sink at it in the run up to the entrance exam in October.

m he has one tutoring session a week where we concentrate on maths and NVR. Otherwise times tables a couple of times a week to make sure he knows them immediately and AtomLearning every day, normally the morning. He’ll do half an hour before school. Half and hour morning and early evening across holidays and weekends. Nothing is forced though. He does it because he wants to do it.

How is Atom Learning? DD is going to group classes at the moment and they do regular mocks, but I wondered if it would be useful to benchmark with a wider pool? (And also to work on those tricky NVRs!)

Thanks for all your replies. We had another tantrum before tuition the other day I've decided to give up. He's smart and yes we have sat him down and said this is your future but at age 9 he doesn't get it and I don't blame him! So we are giving up (he then said he wants to continue tuition but just no home work because he wants to learn more and be better ??) It's ok I just think 11+ is too competitive where we are and I don't want to get his hopes up and think he's a failure. One tutor did say he had a massive gap in his understanding and 11+ sometimes has questions that even year 11s know as it's the way they word them they want the child to apply logic that some can't do hence the competition of the cleverest! I don't want him to get to grammar and then struggle as I did so I've now come to the point I've said no tuition no mocks no nothing x

Trust your gut @User1234567891011121314. It sounds like you’ve made a really sensible decision.

@User1234567891011121314

It sounds like you have made a very pragmatic decision. How are you feeling about it all? I'm not sure where you are in the country but do you have several comprehensive schools to consider now or is there an obvious school for him to go to?

Have you tried Atom learning? My ds is 9 and its quite easy to use. They can do as little as a couple minutes or however long they want. I find doing a little here and there makes a difference. You can cover the curriculum this way. But also, if you feel grammer was not for you, it might not be for your ds either. I encourage my dc with prep, but let them take the lead. I say its up to them if they want to prep or not, but I help guide them.

To be fair I have extremely low expectations to DS getting into the school were studying for. I am feeling okay about two of the alternatives. Not delighted about our catchment school but it still wouldn’t be the end of the world.

He did some mock 11+ tests today and it didn’t go well. I think similarly there’s lots of gaps in his knowledge and I don’t think there’s enough time to fill them but we’re going to carry on anyway. You just never know.

Where I live there is only one grammar school and lots of private primary schools, realistically given my DC attends a local school that effectively did no teaching for over a year and is (I feel disloyal for saying this) a very good student, but not exceptional, it will be a huge surprise for them to get a place at the grammar.
I have and will continue to support them in their wishes to try and get a place, but am also trying to get them to see it is not the end of the world if they don't get in and that it is not wasted learning and good experience to sit the tests to see what sitting an exam is like so they don't panic when it comes to GCSE etc. I have taken a look at atom learning and find it a bit confusing where to start with it!

Thanks @Jellycats4life and @TVandwine I'm not feeling great tbh as we've done all thiiis tuition and talked about it and we honestly thought he would be ok but now we know what he doesn't know if that makes sense and his attitude towards doing any extra work we are more realistic now. My husband still feels he should try and actually my son said he wants to try anyway but I'm not sure. As you can try yes but there's still all that pressure and stress even with no tutoring logistically I mean too. We have 2 grammars either side of us but as we know the competition is too high. The nearest catchment state is over subscribed and I have heard bad things about it in the past to the point my nephew left and went elsewhere but the elsewhere is not good either ! Private is unaffordable and also same exams as 11+ right ? They are all pretty far away too.

If I was in your position @User1234567891011121314 I wouldn't rule anything out yet. I'd still register for the grammar school tests so you're not closing any doors. Things might look different in a week or two or he may feel more positive about tuition after a short break.

When it comes to private schools they are all different. I think the vast majority have a 11+ of sorts but they vary hugely. I know the nearest to us get different children to sit different tests depending on their talents. They also place a lot of sway on a report from your current school. Some have very generous bursaries too but unfortunately not the one nearest me!

Open days are coming up soon too. Your local school may just surprise you and be better than you've heard. Take care

We took DD to the comp to try and paint a good alternative picture. She was knocked over twice. Grunted at when she asked questions, spat at by some random ‘student ambassador’. Back home from the open day she then buckled down and did twice as much 11 plus prep as previously. She was motivated! The grammar open day she found her tribe. It isn’t always the case thet grammar is the best but you do need to look at the alternatives and let the DCs see too. DD had to want to go otherwise she wouldn’t have put in the graft.

You got summer holiday to get DC focus without school long days and sometimes busy school works. Exam Effort could be more focus to cover missing gaps. Good luck!

Is anybody here preparing for nonsuch Cheam school Sutton ? Their exam is based on SET which is not GL or CEM. We are working with schofield and sims books and lots of practice paper. Atom Learning is good it tells you what the gaps are so you can work on those.

Spat at?! I really hope you took that further.

Our local secondary modern isn't great in terms of results but it's a new school building with undeniably better facilities than the grammars.

However, DD says the library is too small...

We are, although our prep has been a bit patchy. DD1 did one of the practice test sessions a fortnight ago and really struggled with the time limit in the maths, which was a bit surprising as it's her better subject. We're going to concentrate on getting her speed up, I suspect the questions she answered she did right but there apparently weren't very many of them!

We're looking at Wally Girls though.

Ok good luck. Mine is sitting at the mock test 2 at Wallington tomorrow. She struggles with maths and hence lots of practise papers and books to help including weekly maths tuition. Whilst she is only passing aim is for her to achieve at least 85%. Don’t know how hard the actual SET is ? If anyone knows it will be a great help

Whilst mumsnet is great for chats on this subject if you want specialist info on 11+ just in case anyone hasn't come across it then https://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/ is a huge mine of information. Go to the section called 'forum' for chats with other parents. Look for the information by region for different schools, pass marks in recent years, what has worked for others, appeals info etc.