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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Does grammar school change girls?

69 replies

Narwhalelife · 17/06/2022 16:25

My DD is 12 (nearly 13) and attends an all girls grammar school, she wanted to go, did the tests passed both, no tutor no drama and so far it has been ok, she has some nice friends and did really well in the recent assessments etc.

I mentioned to a work colleague that she attends an all girls school and this colleague was stunned that I would send my daughter to an all girls school and didn’t I know that girls from these schools are ‘weird about boys/men’ and can become ‘obsessed and awkward’ when it comes to dating etc.

I had never even considered this! (Had considered a lot of other issues with all girls school like bullying etc.)

Does anyone have any girls (or boys) that have been through single sex schools and were not weirdos in the end with the opposite gender?

If applicable how did they meet boys/girls? To be able to gel with them ?

From a parent who literally has thought ‘what next?’ 😂

OP posts:

Floydthebarber · 17/06/2022 17:09

I went to a girls school, not grammar like like PPs I am normal! Met boys walking to and from school and just hanging out on street corners

ErrolTheDragon · 17/06/2022 17:11

It may be the case that the subset of girls who are liable to have some sort of problem socialising with boys will have problems regardless of whether they go to a single or mixed sex school, though perhaps it might take somewhat different forms.

usernamechangeagain · 17/06/2022 17:12

@Narwhalelife I went to an all girls school. Turned out just fine as did my friends!

Sometimes I wonder what people imagine single sex schools to look like 😂

cormorant5 · 17/06/2022 17:17

Sounds as if your friend has just read Michelle Magorian's Coming Home. (1940s)
Where they strictly policed the sex apartheid.

godmum56 · 17/06/2022 17:23

What a strange idea. I went to an all girls school and I am normal.....well normalish......I went on to an all girls college, not because they didn't take boys but because it was a very female profession then (Occupational Therapy) some of us had been in mixed sex schools, some not and honestly you wouldn't have known the difference.

Thalatta · 17/06/2022 17:25

Your colleague is bonkers, sorry.

orbitalcrisis · 17/06/2022 17:28

Half the girls in my grammar school had had an abortion by the end of year 9 so I assume there was some fraternising going on!

zafferana · 17/06/2022 17:32

Don't worry OP - as long as your DD has the opportunity to socialise with boys outside school it will be fine. I went to an all-girls school from 11-16 and it really wasn't an issue. My boys go to all-boys schools and tbh I'm glad they aren't being distracted. A friend with a DS at a co-ed prep school, aged 13, has a girlfriend, which I'd be much more concerned about!

cheapskatemum · 17/06/2022 17:43

I went to an all girls grammar and met boys at activities outside school: sports clubs, drama group, St John's Ambulance etc. I also remember going out in groups with brothers and their friends (ie both my brothers and my friends' brothers.

Anothernamechangeplease · 17/06/2022 17:54

My dd is in a co-ed school, but she knows quite a lot of people from the local single sex schools. Her perception is that the girls from single sex are mostly fine around boys - maybe less likely to have close friends who are boys, but not obsessed or silly about them and otherwise completely normal around them. The boys in single sex schools, however, seem to be a rather different matter - according to dd, they are either incredibly shy and unable to talk to girls at all or else they are incredibly cocky and assume that the girls fancy them! NB these are boys from one school and not a scientific sample!

We have always preferred co-ed, and wouldn't have ever gone for single sex, but I can see that it probably suits some kids much better. I'm sure that any who are a little awkward around the opposite sex probably get over it fairly quickly!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 17/06/2022 17:56

I went to an all girls grammar, am an only child and had no male cousins. All the girls at my school socialised with the boys from the boys grammar in the same town - parties and so on. I had a perfectly normal attitude to boys! I've no idea what your friend is on about!

SouperNoodle · 17/06/2022 19:53

I went to an all girls grammar and had no problem finding boyfriends.
I'm now happily married 😊

CHiSOCG · 17/06/2022 19:55

read my thread from a few days back OP!

Co-Ed or Single sex?

whenindoubtgotothelibrary · 17/06/2022 19:57

I went to an all girls grammar and had no problem finding boyfriends.
I'm now happily married 😊

Same. Dd is also at an all girls grammar and loves it. No problems fraternising with boys. Single sex education has all sorts of advantages for girls in my view. and it was an active choice for us. Lots will disagree, but hey, there are lots and lots of co-ed schools if you want that.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/06/2022 20:02

orbitalcrisis · 17/06/2022 17:28

Half the girls in my grammar school had had an abortion by the end of year 9 so I assume there was some fraternising going on!

I'm going to assume a touch of hyperbole there.

Original poster

Narwhalelife · 17/06/2022 20:57

CHiSOCG · 17/06/2022 19:55

read my thread from a few days back OP!

Co-Ed or Single sex?

Just going there now! Thank you x

OP posts:

TizerorFizz · 17/06/2022 21:43

@Narwhalelife
My DDs went to girls’ boarding schools. They meet boys! Friends have sons. Neighbours have sons. Their friends at school have brothers. They go to parties and mix. All sorts of other clubs snd activities for day pupils are mixed.

My old grammar had its fair share of boy mad girls. The difference was the boys were readily available!!

FrustareNT · 17/06/2022 21:48

My daughter and my sons all went to single sex grammar schools and I can assure you they all have very healthy friendships with the opposite sex!
Their schools were along the same road in our town and they all mixed ,went to the park after school and met up at weekends.
I have absolutely no regrets about their schooling.

Eightiesfan · 17/06/2022 22:05

She’s talking rubbish. Normally single-sex schools have a sister/brother school so have joint discos, music and theatre productions and in the Sixth Form will often allow students from the other school to do subjects their school does not do. You don’t need to worry about your DD!

DaisyWaldron · 17/06/2022 22:25

I went to an all girl's school, and it was great. The thing that I really notice now us that when I was at school, being a girl was normal - girls were the default human, not special or precious or needing to be coddled or protected. The best athletes in the school were girls. The loudest kids were girls. The naughtiest, scariest, cleverest, strongest etc - all girls. In the school plays, girls did all the acting, but also did the sound and lighting and moved the scenery and played the drums in the orchestra. If a teacher needed a pupil to carry something, or stand on a desk to reach something, that pupil would be a girl.

When I left school and socialised in mixed groups more, I noticed that the girls who had been to mixed schools modified their behaviour more around boys - more delicate and flirty, and wouldn't talk about stuff like periods in front of them. But I had grown up with women/girls being my baseline for normal, so I treated men as honorary women, and I think it made for better friendships.

TizerorFizz · 18/06/2022 08:35

@DaisyWaldron
I recognise what you describe in my DDs. They are very secure in their own skin (as it were). They haven’t spent their school years attempting to impress boys or feeling inferior to them so grew up at school doing what suited them and had the opportunities to do just that. They developed healthy relationships with boys when they were ready.

RedWingBoots · 20/06/2022 10:49

I went to a girls secondary. We weren't paired with the boys school but the boys school was around the corner. The sixth form was joined when I was at school but now both schools have their own sixth forms, and they are co-ed. Regardless you mixed on the street and in other places.

I ended up going to a college to do my A levels and 80% of my classmates were male as I did STEM subjects. Most had either been to single sex schools including private or educated abroad. The most immature boys at 16/17 were the ones who had been to mixed schools as they expected girls to act a certain way and be able to talk over you in classes. There as the rest showed you basic courtesy.

JustOldMe · 20/06/2022 12:19

My DD is at girls' grammar. She is only Y7, but already has mentioned boys from boys' grammar next door and how annoying they are 😃 (they all travel on the same bus)

Bumply · 20/06/2022 12:47

I went to girls grammar school.
I loved it and think it probably helped me feel comfortable in STEM subjects.
I didn't have much contact with boys while there, but when I went to Uni I went to the other extreme, met my boyfriend and socialised almost solely with men.

WinterDeWinter · 20/06/2022 12:57

She's not just a loon, she's a loon with internalised misogyny. As a pp said, even if it did mean she starts dating later, how - with everything that young girls are facing in these times - could that possibly be a bad thing? Unless, of course, you feel that girls' function is to be with a man?

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