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Secondary education

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Original poster

In what circs (if any) is it ok for a teacher to take a child in his room and completely let fly verbally so that classes 3 doors down can hear

72 replies

MerryPIFFLEmas · 20/12/2007 19:01

just wondering before I go into school to castrate the fecker.
AIBU?
FWIW my ds1 has not told me this, a boy in a class 3 doors down from this teachers office, heard the bollocking and told his mum how bad it was. This mother is a good friend of mine.
She rung me, when qu ds1 told me details

i am LIVID beyond control

OP posts:
WendyWeber · 20/12/2007 20:14

beety, I've seen DS1 through Y7-13 and DS2 is in Y10 now; if they deserve a bollocking they know it and don't mention it. If it's unjust they do.

piff, have you told DS you want to make a fuss? Does he want you to?

BrightBaublesBeetroot · 20/12/2007 20:17

Perhaps with yours WW. - Piffs boy iirc has had other issues with this school and perhaps he is just accepting it?

but this bollocking sounds totally out of control.

WendyWeber · 20/12/2007 20:23

Whatever

Original poster
MerryPIFFLEmas · 20/12/2007 20:27

no I'm not assuming anything ds1 is a godo kid, high achiever, conscientious.
He has had this teacher for 3 years
in yr 7 (he is in yr9 now) we had a letter hoem from this teacher asking if ds1 would be interviewed by a panel for an extended teaching excellence programme - due to their excellent relations at that time
So ds1 did this, teacher got the award.

He has never been yelled at by a teacher before. Another complaint has been made before against this teacher. But was dismissed.

I am not being precious about this I promise, I have 2nd and 3rd accounts about what was said by teacher and it was wildly inappropriate.

OP posts:
BrightBaublesBeetroot · 20/12/2007 20:29

WW - you are a bit tetchy

Original poster
MerryPIFFLEmas · 20/12/2007 20:29

oh it is top 40 grammar school btw

OP posts:
Hulababy · 20/12/2007 20:32

Not normal IME.

I'd be cross about it but would want to investigate further before going in all guns blazing. Have you spoken to DS at length about it? Why does he think the teacher suddenly turned and went mad about it?

I'd then ask to speak with the teacher and the head of year/form tutor (whichever most appropriate depending on school), and with your DS present too, to get to the bottom of it.

Original poster
MerryPIFFLEmas · 20/12/2007 20:51

Thanks Hula
I am trying to be reasonable about this, but failing, even DP who normally says ds1 deserves a bollocking, says teacher unprofessional and being a teacher is a job and if he did that in the workplace to staff under him he'd lose his job.
To be fair there are underlying shenigans with this teacher and ds1 and I'm not sure why (teens not forthcoming and all) but nothing serious, I assume that ds1 is not tryign as he thinks religion is erm less valubale than other subjects, but I have always said, do your work, submit your homework and be polite and get through the subject.
You can apply for exemption from RE
I shall be...
There are 2 other teachers of RE who regularly mark ds1 highly and he gets on well with, but not this one
Have a feeling there is something more

OP posts:
Wisteria · 20/12/2007 21:39

Piffle - you hadn't said he'd called him worthless etc. before and I agree it's not great behaviour from a professional but the fact remains that it is part of the learning curve and the reason these types of schools get such great results is IMO partly due to the teachers not putting up with any shit whatsoever.....

I don't think it helps schools or pupils for parents to storm in if their children get told off (even if it is unjust) as it's not a bad life lesson. We all get blamed for things unjustly at some point in our lives and as long as he has not been physically hurt or emotionally scarred then I would leave it tbh

Original poster
MerryPIFFLEmas · 20/12/2007 22:17

Still not convinced I'm afraid - am going on instinct with this.
A bollocking, yep for sure they happen.
this was a major melt down
He disciplined/reprimanded ds1 in front of his peers - fair enough, sent him to a detention, fair enough.
To then isolate him and scream his nuts off was overkill.
For one piece of work - the first ever in that subject of something not handed in.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 21/12/2007 08:48

Sure you are right - only you know how you feel and the history behind it - I always go with gut instinct too .

I get the feeling that your posts only really give half the story (especially the first couple) so as I say, if you feel strongly it is your prerogative.

I would check it out with ds though before you go in guns blazing - he may be mortified (my dd1 was when I did a similar thing )

Hope it all works out well anyway

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 21/12/2007 09:08

It does sound like some of the story is missing, but even if it is, is it on OFSTED's list of appropriate sanctions, to scream and shout at a secondary school kid? Is this normal behaviour? Would anyone do this to their own kid and not feel like shit afterwards? Would anyone do it to a colleague at work? I'm puzzled by how "normal" people seem to think it is.

I don't know, but whenever I see threads like this I get very depressed about the prospect of my children going to secondary school and I wish I had the money to opt out.

Wisteria · 21/12/2007 09:11

IME sleighbells - it is the more expensive schools or grammar schools who are more likely to employ this type of behaviour......

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 21/12/2007 09:12

yes I know - I yearn for a strict governess.

Wisteria · 21/12/2007 09:19

, my girls are at state school and would never in a million years get treatment like that but, to be honest, I would welcome it....

....if it meant that the education of my children and whether homework is completed and handed in was being taken more seriously - and before I get flamed that is not a generalisation to be applied to all state schools, just the one my children attend.....

Original poster
MerryPIFFLEmas · 21/12/2007 09:20

He wants me to sort it out
othe kids missed the same homework too and just got a note home for after school detention next term. Fine with that, he missed work - appropriate and agreed sanctions as per schools guidelines
Not sure why he was hunted down in his lunch time, pulled out of library, told off in the hall and then taken to teachers room for the full bollocking.

My ds1 got suspended for 3 days 2 yrs ago for carrying a craft knife to school (genuine mistake) and at all times he was dealt with firmly and fairly and without being screamed at.

OP posts:
Original poster
MerryPIFFLEmas · 21/12/2007 09:22

oh he is never late with homework usually, not in 3 yrs at the school has he ever missed any before. So for a first offence (if indeed that's what it's for)
Am waiting for dep head to ring back, so will find out more I'm sure

OP posts:
Wisteria · 21/12/2007 09:23

IME if a child asks a parent to sort something at school out then it generally means it needs sorting out; you are right to do something Piffle.

My dd was being unfairly treated by a teacher a few years ago and it resulted in me questioning his quals to teach with the headmistress - upon investigation it transpired that he had been banned from teaching in the US so had decided to try his hand over here!

professorplum · 21/12/2007 09:27

I remember a boy in my year getting caned for having a craft knife. He was the only boy I knew who got caned. If your ds wants you to sort it out then he is almost certainly in the right. He knows he is going to look bad if he has done something wrong and he gets his mummy in to fight his battles. You can't be a top 40 school without a high level of dicipline but if several boys have done the same thing then your ds shouldn't be singled out for extra punishment. It sounds personal to me.

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 21/12/2007 09:38

It does sound like the teacher has a specific issue with your ds, doesn't it? This isn't random, end of term exhaustion speaking.

Wisteria · 21/12/2007 09:41

I always used to get bollocked by my history teacher more than my peers and hated his guts; he said I'd be lucky to get a 'C' at o level, was stupid, lazy, a troublemaker . However all became clear on results day when I walked out with an A and flourished it under his nose.

He just smiled sweetly and said well done - I knew you could do it.

It took me years to admit he had read me like a book and knew exactly how to get the best out of me!

mumblechum · 21/12/2007 09:51

This sort of thing goes on at ds's school as well (also top grammar).

He's been screamed at and called a liar in front of the whole class for not handing his homework in & the teacher gave him an after school detention.

I found the h/w in his exercise book and she'd even marked it.

Naturally I emailed her and pulled her up about it but he didn't get an apology. A few, not many of the teachers at his school seem to scream before they check, unfortunately.

roisin · 21/12/2007 11:35

Initially piffle's ds1 did not tell her about the incident though. I would be very hesitant about going in in these circumstances.

I'm not sure what it would achieve. If this person did act unreasonably and unprofessionally, then they probably realise and feel bad about it anyway. (Maybe they were very stressed at the end of a tough, long term. Maybe they just had a horrid hyper-for-christmas-class. I'm not trying to excuse it, but I'm not sure complaining is reasonable.)

If their behaviour wasn't unproffesional and unreasonable, or they don't realise it was, then I can't see that complaining will have any real effect.

DINOsaurmummykissingsantaclaus · 21/12/2007 11:38

No, it's not normal. I was treated like this at my primary school (and hit as well) and I think it's done me a lot of damage - my cousin went to the same school and feels the same way - both of us have always lacked confidence even though we are very bright and high-achieving.

Go in and kick ass.

Joppe · 21/12/2007 11:45

I don't think it is normal. I would do something about it, mainly to show your ds that you are on his side, that it is not acceptable behaviour on the teacher's part (whatever your ds's wrongdoings are), and that one does not have to put up with being treated like this.