Success stories despite failing 11 plus

[Odette81]

My DD is feeling dejected after failing her 11 plus.

Please fill me with hope and success stories and advice to make her feel better.

She is dreading school tomorrow with lots of friends having passed.

I think she meant all his friends. That’s perfectly possible in Bucks.

Quite so. Though if they're in Bucks it won't technically be a comprehensive he will be going to, it will be a secondary modern

Quite so! But you would be surprised how many people call them comps! Even the County Council calls them All Ability Schools.

Bumping this for those getting results around this time.

Thank you for the bump @Odette81
Hope your dd is doing well at her school.

DS1 didn’t past the 11+. He went to study Chemical Engineering at a Russell Group Uni and now works at KPMG and is studying to get his Chartered Accountancy qualification.
Children peak at different times and, your child is prepared to work hard, the 11+ plays a small part in their educational journey.

Don’t use the word failure - ever. She didn’t get into this school on this attempt.

look and choose a school that she loves and why she will love it

is it worth appealing or going on a waiting list without her knowledge

i perhaps was too cautious my dd knew she was doing an exam but knew there was a lot of competition and we had decided on a plan b

I have to be honest and say I opened it without her there and I had a plan about what I would say if she didn’t get in - I doubt I would have told her in that what just said under reconsideration I felt it was too far etc or something but mine had only just turned 10 a few weeks before and struggles with not being good enough - as in 19/20 she’s where did I lose the mark.

my sister son sat the 11 plus in a totally different part of the country and lost the plot when her son didn’t get in - openly calling it the worse thing ever in her life - how did she not notice he was a failure etc awful. Then she tutored him for the private school that they now pay for and in year 8 every single day involves tutoring.

The fact you posted on here shows what an amazing mum you are I’ve Google Ted talks inspiration people who were set back and followed their dreams

I didn’t flourish until my mid 25 but boy oh boy did I hate my parents saying I was a late developer. Not that the PP did !! But please don’t use it - it demeaned my endeavours

I am also stressed about the child being disappointed and 'failure' of 11 plus.. I can give you another story of I went to a grammar school being tutored a lot for it but then it stopped and I was bottom of the class in everything. I wish I went to a comp and I would have had more confidence. I had a bad experience at grammar school friendship and education wise. I am doing well these days but it didn't help being in that environment. I'm not sure that helps but I wish your dd all the best. X

I failed my 11+. I think I am successful now. I have a 6 bedrooms detached property in UK, 8 btl properties in UK. A detached holiday home with 7 bedrooms in Brittany, France only 15 from lovely beach and 300 metres from National Forrest. I have a job I enjoy. I have 3 successful children who I am on good terms with and 2 dgc. Last year my assets together were valued at over a million pounds. I have 2 great dogs, 2 loving cats and a respectful and dear husband. I am happy with my life.

How sad that an exam has made her feel so deflated at age 11. It might not be a bad thing in the long run as she might be happier at a school where there is less pressure and where she can really shine.

Also remind her that the vast majority of children don't take the 11 plus, so really it's not very important in the scheme of things!

My youngest ds failed his older two siblings passed. That was harsh. However he loves his school and his friends are considerably cooler than his siblings 😁. The school is MUCH better for art, drama and music. Wouldn't change it now .

@Odette81 We the catchment for the Southend grammar school and my DD failed the test in year 6. I know exactly how you feel, she went to our catchment comprehensive school and did brilliantly in her GCSES..

She is now studying 4 A-level's at grammar school and is predicted all A*'s. She is hoping to study medicine at university next year.

Your DD can do anything she wants with her fantastic mum in her corner.xx

I failed my 11 plus. I'm an associate professor at a RG university.

Hi everyone 😀
I’m currently living in Spain and planning to move to London (or nearby) with my daughter in the coming months. I’m reaching out for advice and support from other parents or anyone with experience navigating grammar school admissions in the UK.

My daughter will be starting Year 6 in September 2025, and I understand the 11+ entrance exams are a key part of applying to grammar schools. I want to make sure I prepare everything in time, especially as we’re abroad and I don’t want to miss any deadlines.

Here are some of the things I’d really appreciate help with:
1. Which are the best co-educational (mixed) grammar schools in or near London?
I’m looking specifically for mixed schools (not boys-only or girls-only).
2. Can I apply to multiple grammar schools?

Is there a limit? Do I apply directly to each school, or through a central system?
3. What are the main deadlines for 11+ exam registration?
I’ve read that these vary depending on the borough, so I’d love to know what to look out for, especially for 2025 entry.

4.	How do I apply from abroad?

5.	What are the best ways to prepare for the 11+ exams?

Any recommendations for websites, books, practice papers, or online tutors would be amazing. We’re already planning to start working on English, maths, and reasoning.

6.	How competitive is it to get into top grammar schools?

I’d like to have a realistic view of our chances so we can plan accordingly.

Thank you in advance for any advice or insights!

Not sure you can apply until you have a local address you would need to contact the relevant council / local education authority.
Good luck

You'd be best to start a new thread as this is an old one and not really relevant to your question.

London isn't really a grammar area. There are a few in outer London, most are single sex.

Can only think of 3 co-ed ones:

Bexley Grammar School - 180 super-selective places, 30 selective based on distance.
Chislehurst and Sidcup School - mix of super-selective, selective, siblings, PP etc. PAN is 192.
The Latymer School - 192 places - super-selective

The first two are part of the Bexley group of 4 grammars, so one test for both.

They are fiercely competitive and most children who are seriously targeting them will have been tutoring since Y4.

To give an idea, in 2025 there were 818 places available across the 4 Bexley grammars. 5856 children sat the test and 2009 got a score high enough to be considered. Fewer than half of those were offered a place.

Registration for this September for Bexley opened on 1st of May last year and closed on the 31st May. So you will need to get researching all the criteria very fast.

Latymer opened registration for September 2026 back in March. Assessments are the 2nd week in September 25.

@mimysunshine as others have said, you will need to look at the admissions policies for any of the schools you are interested in to make sure you register for the relevant tests. For the grammar schools in the borough of Bexley, there is a single test. The 180 highest scoring children will be guaranteed their first choice of the Bexley grammar schools but to my knowledge, it's never been the case that all 180 have chosen to go to Bexley Grammar School (BGS) itself! Most children will get in on the basis of EHCP, LAC, sibling priority or distance etc.