Moving school at beginning of Y10

[christinarossetti19]

First day back today, another child's bullying of my dd has continued from Y9.

Dd very upset and, based on experiences last year, sadly don't have faith in the school to actually do something about it.

Having spent the summer counselling dd to give Y10 a go, it looks like moving schools is going to be the only option.

Dd wants to move to feel safer, but there's a GCSE that she's doing that she can only do at her current school and she has friends there.

Has anyone else moved their child successfully in Y10? I feel very angry and upset she's the one who has to face the disruption, but she's agreeable that if the school aren't going to take action, we will have to.

Dance, it's the only school round here that does it. Not doing it wouldn't be catastrophic obviously.

Dd has been happy as Larry today, because she's not been at school and because the meeting this morning gave her some hope.

Yes, she could see her friends outside of school and I think that would be much better for her than being in school knowing that her friends are all in the classroom down the corridor tbh. She would have her own, new thing to be getting on with, rather than being constantly aware of what she's lost.

I want to believe that the school isn't going to call tomorrow to say that there's not room in other set (of course there isn't, you've just done the bloody timetables but you could find a way to work if if you wanted to) but I can't trust them.

Just a cursory look at dd's usual test scores makes it completely obvious that her summer assessments were out of synch.

It's painful that dd's two closest friends are very much the school 'favourites'. Dd is much quieter and reserved and she doesn't mind not being in the limelight at all, but has said several times that 'if this had happened to X and Y, it would all be sorted out straight away'.

The only time other assistant head smiled during this morning's meeting was when I mentioned their names. I actually felt sick.

Online school a last resort, but only while waiting for a place at the new school.

Spending months of adolescence in your bedroom on MSTeams is crap enough, let alone that being your whole teenage years.

There must be extracurricular dance classes she can attend ?

Don’t listen to what the school plan to do. It should have been done by now. Tell OFSTED and move her. Get her a tutor now. Wish I had done this with my daughter. Good luck 🤞 can you let us know the outcome.

Embracelife yes, her tiny ballet school sadly didn't survive covid, and she tried another one which she didn't like though I have pointed out that prospective new school has much more extra curricular stuff that her current one, and this could be worth exploring.

Dnaltocs we're waiting for transfer application to be processed.

I will contact contact governors, Ofsted etc in due course, but I need more info from the school eg was the bullying ever actually recorded as bullying (they haven't got their story straight) and may need to do this via GDPR request, but I need to get dd sorted first.

Dance gcse is not ballet or is it? There may be something similar she can try or get her a one on one ballet tutor if she loves it

Yes, there will be other dance opportunities that she can pursue.

It would be a loss to her though, as she's been dead set on doing it since Y7. Minor in the scheme of things, but another negative impact on her despite the fact that she's done nothing wrong.

Separate gcse in dance from doing dance. She caN still study dance as,subject later. Or outside of school.

Could you talk to her current dance teacher about private lessons outside school, and do the GCSE privately?

Hope your son's school gets back to you soon (with a space).

We did look at doing GCSE dance privately, but not until the summer when it became apparent that we may need to consider moving schools and everywhere was booked up.

I also wasn't sure about doing another GCSE on top of a full time table if she can just find a class that she likes and do it for fun.

I think we'll be able to sort something out re: dance classes, but it's one of the reasons that she doesn't want to move.

Which is fair enough from her pov, given that she's done nothing wrong.

I agree it's totally unfair as she has done nothing wrong. All the best.

Dd's details now on borough waiting list website - she's third place as no sibling priority.

There's traditionally a lot of movement in the school, so fingers crossed it's not too long.

She's cheerfully working through the work that is on Google classrooms, so that's something.

Am kicking myself for not moving her before the summer. If we'd have known that she was going to be separated from her friends and gaslighted about the bullying, he would definitely have agreed to move.

Just went for a walk with her and spoke about what she needed from the school to return. Being with her friends (she's the only one who was 'moved down'), for the school to validate that she was bullied and how it affected her and for a clear plan to be in place should further incidents occur.

Just received a 'courtesy email' saying that they're investigating 'my concerns' and will get back to me at the earliest opportunity.

Yesterday, they said that they'll call after 4pm today, so I guess that's not happening.

There have, in the short term, been some positives in this situation for dd.

She's told me much more about the extent of the bullying in the summer term - said she didn't tell me at the time because she knew that I'd contact the school and that 'they wouldn't do anything'. She also said that it felt that if she didn't talk about it, it wasn't really real.

She is absolutely clear that she has done nothing wrong and that the fault lies with the school. She thought that if she ignored the bully, they would stop and find someone else. Unfortunately, the school gave the power to the bully by 'mediating' so that hasn't happened.

We've had a few conversations about her academics last year and what has emerged very clearly is that she was 'moved down' because she doesn't figure on the Progress 8 measure so the school don't give a shit about her.

Even her lowest marks during the height of the bullying weren't the 'lowest' in the class, yet she is the only one who has been moved down. Her lowest marks were 3 GCSE grades below what she was usually achieving, so any half-way decent school would have instantly noticed that it was a 'one off'. Any decent school would have joined the dots with the bullying and realised that isolating her from her friends at this vital time was the worst thing they could do.

I hate the school. I want dd to have something better. But will support her if she wants to return when/if they finally get back to me with the outcome of their investigations into how utterly shite they are.

Oh christina. From your DD's point of view I hope they do the things she needs; but from your point of view the trust is broken and you will never really think they're on her side again. I hope the move comes off quickly.

Having updated my basic governor safeguarding training last night, I would be notifying the school that she is showing general indicators of peer-on-peer abuse. This should be raised with the DSL (designated safeguarding lead) which probably isn't the HoY if they are in their first SLT position. Reading matter here www.gov.uk/government/publications/keeping-children-safe-in-education--2

I do hope you can get her moved soon.

Thanks. Have just sent a long, cathartic email to the DSL, including mentioning that one of the actions from the meeting on Wednesday was the school getting their story straight on whether the bullying had been recorded as such.

I'm really cross in both your behalf's OP.

My DD and DS school have recently made unnecessary changes which affects who they're with at break and lunch and some classes and I has a huge affect let alone being moved down a class away from your friends whilst being bullied.

Just goes to show the School weren't listening, failed to communicate and just as you said quite frankly didn't give a toss.

They should absolutely be ashamed of themselves and should be held to account as quite frankly it's really not on to treat a human being, a child, one of their pupils in this way

They should absolutely be ashamed of themselves and should be held to account as quite frankly it's really not on to treat a human being, a child, one of their pupils in this way

Absolutely right. And don't let them start bleating about resilience either - resilience is not keeping turning up for a pasting in a bullying situation. Resilience is what your DD is doing in trying to resolve it. If they can't meet her needs there (terms?) then the whole deal is off.

Just received email from Assistant Head (not the phone call that I was promised).

Bullying all dealt with and dd offered support.

Very keen to support transfer to another school.

No mention of moving her class.

Dd is devastated. She really believed that the school was going to support her to stay as she has done nothing wrong.

Oh @christinarossetti19 I'm so sorry, DD must be distraught at their letting her down like that. Gaslighting bastards.

Feel free to throw the book at them once DD is settled. A safeguarding referral for the bully everyone is letting down might not go amiss either.

I’m so sorry
They have been really really useless, it’s not good enough.
They just want to get rid of your daughter rather than tackle the issue. Th Bully will find another target and it will continue

Thanks both. It is very, very distressing to see your child being treated so carelessly, but I need to focus on going forward.

She was showing as 'third' on the waiting list for new school on Thursday, but it's saying 'no matching records' today. I've emailed asking for an update.

Does her current school putting in writing that 'they offer their full support' in her transferring carry any weight in expediating the transfer?

My plan on Monday is to contact the council again (if I haven't heard re: waiting list place). I would like to contact new school re:schemes of work, but as she doesn't know what options she'll be doing (I'll guess that she'll have to fit in with what's available), I'm not sure what they'll be able to advise.

Any other suggestions as to what I can do to give her some sense of purpose and to actually be learning something?

I think it's important that it's something meaningful towards her GCSEs, not just 'busy work'. The stuff from her current school is about working out means and habitats in science, which is an utter waste of time.

Update for anyone still following...

Phoned Admissions - dd's application is 'under consideration'. Think this is good news?

I have submitted a Subject Access Request under GDPR as they're clearly trying to cover up their absence of/inadequate records about the bullying. Won't make a difference to dd, but will be a PITA for them and may lead to some important questions being asked internally.

I've drafted a complaint to Ofsted, not sure whether to send it yet. I know other parents with children in the school and know from my own children's primary school days how stressful it is for everyone having Ofsted on your case.

But, it will be their decision to act on it or not, I guess.

Fingers crossed that 'under consideration' is good news. I am aghast at the school.