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Original poster

Dulwich College a “breeding ground for sexual predators”

571 replies

rosemary201 · 22/03/2021 12:22

Another day, another school
Interestingly, the first letter from a boy

Dulwich College is today accused of being a “breeding ground for sexual predators” in an open letter organised by a former schoolboy that contains more than 100 anonymous accounts of assault, harassment and sharing intimate photos online.

The letter, written by Samuel Schulenburg, 19, a former pupil at the south London private school, said “experiences of assault, revenge pornography and slut shaming were exacerbated by ... young men who ... laughed at stories of sexual violence”.

His letter includes about 100 anonymous testimonies written by girls who went to neighbouring schools, such as James Allen’s Girls’ School (Jags). One claims there was “an established rape culture” at the school.

OP posts:
littleburn · 29/03/2021 10:12

I don't think it's a problem specific to public schools. These stories are a microcosm of an increasingly misogynistic culture. The fact that it is happening in private schools - on their turf as it were - might possibly make this particular government start to take the issue seriously.

AuntieStella · 29/03/2021 10:45

The founder of the Everyone's Invited website says that accounts are being added all the time, and that it is not/not a private schools phenomenon. It's just as much in the state sector and is in universities.

DC got it in the neck because of the MSM attention. There is however no reason to think that it has a worse problem than anywhere else.

AuntieStella · 29/03/2021 10:46

Missed a bit from previous post - the founder of thevwrbsite was speaking on the BBC news yesterday.

So I hope that will have been high profile enough to end the 'othering' (ie that it's private schools with the problem) and that the new impetus will mean that all schools and everyone will take this seriously

Oohhhbetty · 29/03/2021 11:36

Please listen to this officer and tell on boys selling drugs and doing other things. If the school were ignoring warning signs, then so are the parents
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/03/29/hand-son-police-responsible-sex-assault-senior-officer-tells/

ScrollingLeaves · 29/03/2021 11:41

This is what the founder of ‘Everyone’s Invited’ has written.

“Seeing this long-overdue discussion being narrowed down to private schools is disappointing. There are logical reasons for this initial bias. The platform is still new, and it has grown through word of mouth, with friends sharing it with friends. I went to a private school and then a university in London. As a result, we received an abundance of testimonies from certain areas and groups to begin with, so this early data is not representative.“

There is a link to the article in another thread but I don’t know how to link the article.

ScrollingLeaves · 29/03/2021 11:44

Posted too soon.
She also writes that the demographic of testimonies being added since the first days has widened considerably.

PresentingPercy · 29/03/2021 11:59

That was always going to be inevitable once it gained nationwide status. I think the idea that this is confined in a small number of schools in London is a limited reaction. It is newsworthy but it disguises what is going on everywhere. And it is everywhere. Soma Sara needed to speak out.

Oohhhbetty · 29/03/2021 12:20

Completely agree it is everywhere. I think why people are shocked abo it fee paying schools is that parents openly pick fee paying schools believing/quoting that their DC will avoid these sort of bullies. But fee paying schools are no different to any other institution in that there are bullies everywhere. And I think people are also shocked at the pushing under the carpet allegations that is not what you pay for - you pay for zero tolerance.

PresentingPercy · 29/03/2021 12:54

I think pushing sexual behaviour under the carpet is not just in private schools. That is everywhere too. I do not think parents really think about sexual behaviour of teens when choosing a school when their DC is 9 or 10.

I was just thinking about how widespread this type of behaviour is. This is not sexual, but a female relative used to live in Sheffield. In her leafy villagy area, a woman going to a pub on a Sunday lunchtime was called "a pudding burner". Her boyfriend was urged to get her back into the kitchen. I would assume the sons of these men are now exhibiting the same anti femal traits. It is in society and the women have put up with it foir generations. It is seen as banter but it is attempting to control. The boys in the web site seem to know no boundaries and treat girls badly. Is it from porn or it is in their homes? Their culture? The homes and cultures where women have low status.

Many religions see women in a less than equal light too. Women cannot say anything. The men/boys are put on pedesals. Their behaviour is not questioned. The schools will have difficulty with this too. The sexual grooming cases brought this into the light. However, do we know that the boys in these homes are not being raised in exactly the same way right now? We even had the men in positions of power thinking it was the fault of the girls.

Also, what about all the excuses for "laddish" and "laddette" behaviour. The notion of "what happens on tour, stays on tour". Many parents did not seem to mind their girls and boys behaving badly with sexual innuendo rife. Everyone (well not me!) used to to think it was feminism and liberating fun for the girls. Only prudes did not join in - but now it appears it has put girls back light years if they did not want to be like that. They were not seen as "fun" by the boys and were ridiculed about it. Ditto the boys who were not "cool".

The culture of sex and porn and not caring about bad behaviour needs to change in all sectors of society. Not just schools. Parents must get on board with this. Obviously not all boys are like this but there are too many sectors of society where boys are not challenged and are allowed to grow up without good guidance.

365sleepstogo · 29/03/2021 13:01

I was generally shocked at the extent of the sexual bullying/assault but not about private versus state.

What shocked me most was that those who have a duty of care turned a blind eye, at best.

I hope the other schools that were named are not thinking they got away with it just because DC are bearing the brunt of the hammering, even if the extent in the latter was far worse (not saying it was).

There has to be zero tolerance on this behaviour and zero tolerance of staff who neglect to fulfill their duties in this respect.

starray · 29/03/2021 13:20

Loads of accounts from many different schools on the website. Both state and private. Why have a few particular private schools been singled out in the press? The media is doing no favours to any young person in any school by instigating the idea that sexual abuse is limited to such and such school and by implication, other schools are 'safe'.

Lanique · 29/03/2021 13:34

My dds are friends on SM with pupils at a famous local public school. Dd1 jokes about how all the girls she knows that go there started doing underwear mirror shots within a short time of joining. There is a very alpha culture at this school and it seems to be expected of the girls to go along with this, in order to fit in.

Not saying it doesn't go on at dds' school (state) it just seems to be less 'obligatory' somehow.

As a traditional feminist, this pressure to conform is such a way concerns me greatly.

Lanique · 29/03/2021 13:37

Also I have seem the comments and videos on TikTok. There is a nasty underbelly of misogyny among young men today. These echo chambers, many of whom are comprised of angry incels, are I'm sure part of the problem.

MarshaBradyo · 29/03/2021 13:37

DC got attention first due to the open letter from a named ex-student didn’t it?

Lanique that is so awful.

strugglinginswlondon · 29/03/2021 13:48

@Lanique

My dds are friends on SM with pupils at a famous local public school. Dd1 jokes about how all the girls she knows that go there started doing underwear mirror shots within a short time of joining. There is a very alpha culture at this school and it seems to be expected of the girls to go along with this, in order to fit in.

Not saying it doesn't go on at dds' school (state) it just seems to be less 'obligatory' somehow.

As a traditional feminist, this pressure to conform is such a way concerns me greatly.

Something that has come from this thread is that parents, even if their kids are not at the school, know about this behaviour, and choose to do nothing with the information. I personally would be dropping a note to the head of this school to say what your daughters are reporting.

The only way we’ll make big progress is for parents to work together and create a zero tolerance towards such behaviour.

MsTSwift · 29/03/2021 13:55

Trying to be optimistic but in our profession (law) laddish sexism is no longer tolerated you have to be extremely careful how you behave etc rightly so this has changed since I was perved over as a trainee. Know it’s more difficult in schools but shows it is possible?

Lanique · 29/03/2021 14:10

The trouble is @strugglinginswlondon (and I totally agree with you) is that it's so normalised now. My dds would laugh at me if I were to do it, (and would probably never tell me anything again!) I just don't know what the school would do, would they be that concerned if we're talking 16 year olds (they started younger but it's too late to report that now...)

11plusNewbie · 29/03/2021 14:10

@starray
In the case of DC (and KCS/WHS) former students from those schools have written open letters collecting hundreds testimonies against their own schools (culture, lack of action of the leadership etc)

The everyone's invited is posting collection of testimonies which are entirely anonymous and isolated. they are there to read, but are less of a targeted, structured and argumentized effort.

strugglinginswlondon · 29/03/2021 14:16

@Lanique

The trouble is *@strugglinginswlondon* (and I totally agree with you) is that it's so normalised now. My dds would laugh at me if I were to do it, (and would probably never tell me anything again!) I just don't know what the school would do, would they be that concerned if we're talking 16 year olds (they started younger but it's too late to report that now...)
Then we have to accept that this culture is normalised and horrific stories will continue if nothing is ever said and no one challenges it.

Personally, I’d be explaining explicitly to my daughters why I am reporting, and I’d expect them to do similar. I reported knife crime talk when my dd was y8, funnily enough no one laughed at her or me for reporting it. That was too two privates and one state.

Lanique · 29/03/2021 14:32

Knife crime talk is not on a par with a picture that a girl has chosen to post of herself in a bikini.

strugglinginswlondon · 29/03/2021 14:36

@Lanique

Knife crime talk is not on a par with a picture that a girl has chosen to post of herself in a bikini.
But it’s all in the vein of reporting behaviours which lead to normalised, undesirable cultures, no?
YankeeinKingArthursCourt · 29/03/2021 14:39

@Notenoughsleepmumof3

I agree with others that you should report the ( alleged) drug dealing Dulwich College boy. It's always best to err on the side of caution with any safeguarding issue, particularly now as the school and the police will be very interested in taking action.
---
As for those querying why the focus is on Dulwich College / private vs state schools, well this is a thread about a letter written by a Dulwich College alum who compiled 250 testimonies. To clarify, these testimonials are not from the Everyone Invited website, but from his personal contacts, hence the focus on Dulwich College ( and JAGS/ local girls private schools).

Most everyone has commented on the fact that "rape culture" is not just a private school issue , however the reporting, safeguarding and inspection framework of Independent schools is quite different from State schools ( less transparent & more "internal" systems / accountability). This is something that MPs, the Met and now Ofsted are looking to change.

Lanique · 29/03/2021 14:43

@strugglinginswlondon

True. But this seems to be an unstoppable tide that has gathered momentum through social media, porn, music videos etc. Reporting girls' underwear shots to schools would be a full-time job, not to mention it would make my own dds deeply unpopular! As parents I feel we can only do our bit by teaching / advising our own daughters not to do it.

I'm not saying I disagree with you btw.

strugglinginswlondon · 29/03/2021 14:59

@Lanique I fear you’re right, but I’m still going to try to make things better.

YankeeinKingArthursCourt · 29/03/2021 15:01

@lanique

I definitely agree with @strugglinginswlondon here. Report to the school as they will now be very interested in looking at this and other safeguarding concerns. Young teens that are happy to send bikini shots now will (likely) escalate to other pics / behaviour as this is "normalised".

Schools, students, parents etc will be discussing this behaviour, particularly now. It has certainly been happening all weekend on our parents WhatsApp group...