I am a mum at DC.
I am in full support of the victims, and being able to share their stories in a safe environment is nothing short of fantastic. This alone shows there is real progress.
I count myself as a feminist who has frequently defended the rights of women to I've passed to my son, who seemingly acts as an ally to women and has many female friends at JAGs and Alleyns.
On the revelation of the allegations, my son's response was of disgust, shame and disappoint that older boys at his school could do this, and use the name of DC as a shield. Yes, I too, saw a decline in mental health, as I watched him frantically snapchat his female friends to see if they thought badly of him now the allegations were out.
As a supporter of the victims, I feel I cannot openly speak of how this affects my child's mental health as it is not relevant in the bigger pictures and it takes away recognising the utter pain that these young women have been through. But, on a human level, any other mother can probably see my anguish at my own child, who is guilty of being complicit in sexual harassment by association.
I researched DC heavily before choosing, not overtly liking single sex schools, yet the current parents and pupils gave no indication of any such behaviours, other than a bit of 'a team swagger' which I saw everywhere. I used mumsnet extensively, again not one single person made reference to such behaviours or that girls from local schools actively avoided DC boys. Of course, not that I don't believe they weren't present, but why was no one on this forums (and others like nappy valley net etc) where you can pretty much anonymously call out such behaviours, yet now the testimonials are coming thick and fast that everyone knew about them. This too worries me that the cover up has been accepted for so long.
The focus on private schools in unhealthy where state schools are concerned, and I hope the girls get a similar amount of attention when sharing their stories. I am certainly trying to advocate for changes in their schools too.
I have an older child, at a different school, and as she reached 'the party years' I was shocked and surprised at what parents see as acceptable behaviour from their offspring, both boys and girls. Kids given alcohol, in some cases, weed, houses in which to party, encouraged to go to the commons and parks to 'socialise', open talk about doing things in bushes etc, mixed gender sleepovers - some parents doing it as they were desperate for their kids to be in the popular gang and if this is what it took ... Again, inappropriate behaviour from boys is not called for, but bloody hell, when they're given just about every tool for them to party like they're in their 20s without the emotional intelligence to deal with it, it's not surprising we have these cultures rampant within our school age kids.
I have no clue how I will deal with my son and DC, I am firstly awaiting the response and the actions that will be taken. Here at home, it is being drilled home about women's safety and equality. I feel lost, sick and disillusioned with the London private school system.