Dulwich College a “breeding ground for sexual predators”

[rosemary201]

Another day, another school
Interestingly, the first letter from a boy

Dulwich College is today accused of being a “breeding ground for sexual predators” in an open letter organised by a former schoolboy that contains more than 100 anonymous accounts of assault, harassment and sharing intimate photos online.

The letter, written by Samuel Schulenburg, 19, a former pupil at the south London private school, said “experiences of assault, revenge pornography and slut shaming were exacerbated by ... young men who ... laughed at stories of sexual violence”.

His letter includes about 100 anonymous testimonies written by girls who went to neighbouring schools, such as James Allen’s Girls’ School (Jags). One claims there was “an established rape culture” at the school.

My son is at university and I still check his phone if I want to.

You check your grown adult son's phone if you want?

Wow.

I know I'm going against the tide here but from what I've read, half of the testimonies posted show girls didn't have enough respect for themselves.

You are not going "against the tide", you are victim blaming and it is utterly vile.

@kittybritain

Maybe I missed any details previously, but what strict guidelines did you offer to your son about his clothing? His behaviour? His drinking? Insisting that he gains consent? Uses a condom? Respects women?
Maybe you have done all of these things, I just don't remember you posting about policing your son's clothing, behaviour etc.

@kittybritain you might check your children's phones but you're still only seeing what they want you to see.

My point is, when girls place themselves highly, then the boys have no way to harass. Young girls should be educated to have respect for themselves, their bodies and minds, know where their limits are. As they mature, the limits get further relaxed, like at uni or at work where drinking and sex become normal part of life, but at young age, knowing where limits are is extremely important.

Really?

No one told my classmates that. Years of bullying and harassment that culminated in an attempted rape. I was fucking 13. 6 of them against one of me. I wasn't drunk.

Only if I wore a longer skirt or valued myself more eh?

Completely agree with this @Notenoughsleepmumof3

Exactly this attitude is the problem.

@kittybritain you have just opened a very sexist argument. My own children would debate you into the ground and I have 2 sons and a daughter. This argument has been debated at high court levels. Sorry.. this is the problem. Blaming it on the girls and not taking responsibility is the problem. End of. And again, parents who do this are not good parents.

@kittybritain
Why do you feel the need to check your adult son’s phone?
As for suggesting that the girls who have been brave enough to speak out “didn’t have enough respect for themselves” -does that apply to all victims of rape and sexual assault? I find your view totally shocking.

My point is, when girls place themselves highly, then the boys have no way to harass. Young girls should be educated to have respect for themselves, their bodies and minds, know where their limits are.

That's the biggest pile of bullshit ever. Why is the onus not on boys to harass? How can a girl stop groups of boys behaving in this way? Boys are often bigger, stronger and might be older.
Does your warped thinking applying to primary school and younger kids who are sexually assaulted or are they supposed to stop men and boys sexually harassing and assaulting too? Disgusting

@kittybritain. Your daughter and son will be doing what every other teen does - deleting something when they have read it. That is what they do, they aren’t daft.
You are so insulting to every mother on here, as if suggesting they don’t care or put enough time or thought in to their parenting.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=51-hepLP8J4
(What were you wearing? Tracey Ullman's Show)
This sums it up very effectively...

Boys/Men need to be held accountable

@Beetle11 completely agree about the DC reputation being on the radar of S London girls one of mine went to a girls school named in the DC report and knew even early on in her school career that DC boys were best avoided

kittybritain you really are very naive. My DD friend had a mother like you, tracked her when she was out, kept her from going out, grounded her at the slightest thing. Low and behold the girl would go to friends houses and swap her phone and go and see her boyfriend.

I have always had an open dialogue with my DD, discussed drugs and alcohol, sex, to be safe and to always no she can contact me at anytime if she finds herself in a difficult situation. I always wanted her to ensure she made her own choices and wasnt coerced. However I should add as a mother of boys I have also spoken to them about attitudes towards females and how there behaviours and attitudes can seriously impact a girls self esteem. Also discussions around consent etc. It is not just a 'daughter' issue. To suggest 'mothers' let there daughters wander the streets drunk and half naked whilst sexting is ridiculous....

sadly you need to educate yourself on the real issue here and stop on the old victim blaming narrative

I have a few questions related to the situation:

1. Everyone blames the schools. Why is the role of parents in raising their children neglected?
2. The vast majority of the described cases took place outside the school and during parties organised in private homes. Who was responsible for overseeing these events? I am convinced that it was not part of the school's duty.
3. According to the law in the UK it is forbidden to consume alcohol by young people under 16 years of age. This applies to both boys and girls. In the described cases, there is repeated mention of drinking alcohol at parties in private homes (girls 'or boys' homes? - this is not stated). It lists many cases of unconscious girls drunk. There is no criticism in the media about this, and it is also a violation of the law and school regulations.
4. Press and social media articles write about bullying girls. My question is, are the boys from private schools now intimidated on an incredible scale? As a result of anonymous reports on a relatively small number of boys (in each school, on average, from 1,000 to 1,500 students are taught), boys from private schools are insulted and slandered. Nobody makes the difference in public discussion who is guilty and who is not. All boys in private schools are sex predators and criminals. There is no shortage of nice and intelligent boys in private schools, but now the media has put them in the same bag with criminals. Collective liability is prohibited by law and is not a feature of a modern rule of law.
5. I don't understand why Dulwich College was forced to pass its students to the police. It is the person who wrote the open letter that is legally obligated to file a criminal complaint. The police are also obliged to start an investigation as a result of media reports. The role of the school in the investigation is to work with the police to find the perpetrators. However, I have not heard that the author of the letter reported the matter to the police (or perhaps the media is silent about it).

There are still many such questions that can be asked .

Finally, one more thing. Yesterday, a youth protest took place in front of one of the private schools. In protest, young people hugged each other. I respect this protest and initiative. I wonder why such a form of protest was accepted and received acclaim in the media during the prevailing pandemic, when everyone has to keep a social distance ?? !!
I am strongly against sexual harassment and criminal activity, but I am also against:

1. Blame only the school for unacceptable student behavior. Especially if it concerns students' eating habits outside of school.
2. Blaming only boys, while underage girls voluntarily participate in parties, getting drunk until they are unconscious. It doesn't justify boys, but being a girl also doesn't justify reprehensible behavior.
3. I am opposed to the aggressive public media evaluation of boys from private schools. They are also children and most of them are innocent.

[quote Iamsodone]@Oohhhbetty

I find that the Dulwich schools, including Alleyn's are marketing themselves as liberal schools. that keeps them apart other schools perceived as more prescriptive and more pressurised i,e Alleyn's has a reputation for being "relaxed".

I see it as a choice of the school model.

The liberal schools will take longer to set themselves into action than other schools ,that will be very prompt at nipping things in the bud ...with one camp is more "let them be" and the other perhaps more "conformist" ... all with nuances and variations of course...

Depends on what families want for their children.

but clearly the liberal schools appear to bring less "added value" in relation to the fees paid.[/quote]
I want to come back to this as Alleyn’s has released a statement and various comms to reiterate zero tolerance. To present and future parents / students.

I think it’s probably unfair and incorrect to imply they’d be more lax due to other liberal approaches.

@Breds

I have a few questions related to the situation:

1. Everyone blames the schools. Why is the role of parents in raising their children neglected?
2. The vast majority of the described cases took place outside the school and during parties organised in private homes. Who was responsible for overseeing these events? I am convinced that it was not part of the school's duty.
3. According to the law in the UK it is forbidden to consume alcohol by young people under 16 years of age. This applies to both boys and girls. In the described cases, there is repeated mention of drinking alcohol at parties in private homes (girls 'or boys' homes? - this is not stated). It lists many cases of unconscious girls drunk. There is no criticism in the media about this, and it is also a violation of the law and school regulations.
4. Press and social media articles write about bullying girls. My question is, are the boys from private schools now intimidated on an incredible scale? As a result of anonymous reports on a relatively small number of boys (in each school, on average, from 1,000 to 1,500 students are taught), boys from private schools are insulted and slandered. Nobody makes the difference in public discussion who is guilty and who is not. All boys in private schools are sex predators and criminals. There is no shortage of nice and intelligent boys in private schools, but now the media has put them in the same bag with criminals. Collective liability is prohibited by law and is not a feature of a modern rule of law.
5. I don't understand why Dulwich College was forced to pass its students to the police. It is the person who wrote the open letter that is legally obligated to file a criminal complaint. The police are also obliged to start an investigation as a result of media reports. The role of the school in the investigation is to work with the police to find the perpetrators. However, I have not heard that the author of the letter reported the matter to the police (or perhaps the media is silent about it).

There are still many such questions that can be asked .

Finally, one more thing. Yesterday, a youth protest took place in front of one of the private schools. In protest, young people hugged each other. I respect this protest and initiative. I wonder why such a form of protest was accepted and received acclaim in the media during the prevailing pandemic, when everyone has to keep a social distance ?? !!
I am strongly against sexual harassment and criminal activity, but I am also against:

1. Blame only the school for unacceptable student behavior. Especially if it concerns students' eating habits outside of school.
2. Blaming only boys, while underage girls voluntarily participate in parties, getting drunk until they are unconscious. It doesn't justify boys, but being a girl also doesn't justify reprehensible behavior.
3. I am opposed to the aggressive public media evaluation of boys from private schools. They are also children and most of them are innocent.

A lot in post but things that stand out

Yes parents do and should play a big role

And I wonder if naming schools on a site is of legal concern due to reputations damage

Individual names were not allowed

Completely unacceptable criminal behaviour perpetuated by the if you are posh it’s okay brigade.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

Completely unacceptable criminal behaviour perpetuated by the if you are posh it’s okay brigade.

Who says it’s ok?

NHS advice on drinking for teens from NHS site -

Advice for parents:

If children do drink alcohol, they shouldn't do so until they're at least 15 years old.
If 15 to 17 year olds drink alcohol, it should be rarely, and never more than once a week. They should always be supervised by a parent or carer.
If 15 to 17 year olds drink alcohol, they should never exceed the recommended adult weekly limit (14 units of alcohol). 1 unit of alcohol is about half a pint of normal-strength beer or a single measure (25ml) of spirits. A small glass of wine equals 1.5 units of alcohol. Read more about alcohol units.
If your child intends to drink alcohol, using positive practices such as incentives, setting limits, agreeing on specific boundaries and offering advice can help.

Just seen this in the guardian:

Dulwich College protest over 'rape culture' cancelled
Move comes after students told they would face disciplinary action and police fine for breaching Covid rules

www.theguardian.com/education/2021/mar/26/dulwich-college-head-warns-pupils-over-culture-protest

@Schnitzelwithnoodle
@stokey , "Head"-teacher does not have a choice, does he - probably feels he's got his on a chopping board... hmm

So he should - he has been head over a decade and allowed this culture to fester and reputation to develop under his watch. Now he is trying to be seen to do the right thing and save himself. If he had integrity he would have done long long before it became publicised and ideally the moment he did at became aware of it.

@kittybritain - it should not be a girl’s/woman’s responsibility to protect themselves from men. It’s boys’/men’s responsibility to conduct themselves appropriately and treat girls/women with respect, regardless of how they treat themselves.

Argh typos!
*Should have done it long before it was publicised and ideally the moment he became aware of it.

www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/youngreporter/19191433.silence-violence-says-jags-vigil---alice-barr-jags/

@Breds

I have a few questions related to the situation:

1. Everyone blames the schools. Why is the role of parents in raising their children neglected?
2. The vast majority of the described cases took place outside the school and during parties organised in private homes. Who was responsible for overseeing these events? I am convinced that it was not part of the school's duty.
3. According to the law in the UK it is forbidden to consume alcohol by young people under 16 years of age. This applies to both boys and girls. In the described cases, there is repeated mention of drinking alcohol at parties in private homes (girls 'or boys' homes? - this is not stated). It lists many cases of unconscious girls drunk. There is no criticism in the media about this, and it is also a violation of the law and school regulations.
4. Press and social media articles write about bullying girls. My question is, are the boys from private schools now intimidated on an incredible scale? As a result of anonymous reports on a relatively small number of boys (in each school, on average, from 1,000 to 1,500 students are taught), boys from private schools are insulted and slandered. Nobody makes the difference in public discussion who is guilty and who is not. All boys in private schools are sex predators and criminals. There is no shortage of nice and intelligent boys in private schools, but now the media has put them in the same bag with criminals. Collective liability is prohibited by law and is not a feature of a modern rule of law.
5. I don't understand why Dulwich College was forced to pass its students to the police. It is the person who wrote the open letter that is legally obligated to file a criminal complaint. The police are also obliged to start an investigation as a result of media reports. The role of the school in the investigation is to work with the police to find the perpetrators. However, I have not heard that the author of the letter reported the matter to the police (or perhaps the media is silent about it).

There are still many such questions that can be asked .

Finally, one more thing. Yesterday, a youth protest took place in front of one of the private schools. In protest, young people hugged each other. I respect this protest and initiative. I wonder why such a form of protest was accepted and received acclaim in the media during the prevailing pandemic, when everyone has to keep a social distance ?? !!
I am strongly against sexual harassment and criminal activity, but I am also against:

1. Blame only the school for unacceptable student behavior. Especially if it concerns students' eating habits outside of school.
2. Blaming only boys, while underage girls voluntarily participate in parties, getting drunk until they are unconscious. It doesn't justify boys, but being a girl also doesn't justify reprehensible behavior.
3. I am opposed to the aggressive public media evaluation of boys from private schools. They are also children and most of them are innocent.

Schools definitely should be blamed if they encourage and/or turn a blind eye to such behaviour and culture. That's what the school is being pulled up on.

When you ignore bad behaviour, sexism,racism, harassment ,complaints , etc. and big up your boys because they're kings of the world and deserve everything they want you can't then shrug your shoulders and go "what can you do" and "we had no idea".

Like I said , people are deluded if they think schools, colleges,unis etc can't negatively influence boundaries and morals especially if they're fairly flawed to begin with.

I’m not a Dulwich parent but I have DC at other schools that have been in the press. Live in SW London but have never heard particularly bad things about DC.
What I don’t really understand is that loads of people on here are saying that they’re well known for this, all the girls around there avoid the boys like the plague etc etc, yet all these things are going on at parties outside school so some of these girls must be happy to go to the parties despite the boys reputations.
These schools can educate teenagers until they’re blue in the face but with offsite parties and alcohol I don’t see how they can be 100% responsible for their pupils.

"2. Blaming only boys, while underage girls voluntarily participate in parties, getting drunk until they are unconscious. It doesn't justify boys, but being a girl also doesn't justify reprehensible behavior."

Presumably the boys are also getting drunk but are less at risk of someone sexually assaulting them while they are unconscious. While the girls' behaviour is not commendable, it's hardly reprehensible compared to assault and rape.